Walking the Line
by StarvingLunatic
Summary: This is AU like a mug. Shego is a cop and Kim...well, you won't believe what Kim is.
1. Problem One: The day that won't end

Okay, a couple of things before you start reading; well, maybe more than a couple. First thing, the rating is for the language mostly. Second thing, this is an AU. Third thing, this is based on the super fantastic manga Tramps like Us. Okay, that's a lot of things, but you can go on and read now.

Oh, wait, I so don't own any of these characters. Trust me, the show wouldn't be as good as it is if I did.

Walking the Line

Problem One: The day from hell

To call today the day from hell would have been being kind about things as far as Shego was concerned. In fact, calling it hell itself would not have been doing it justice as far as she was concerned. Calling it the seventh ring of hell would not have even been enough; she would have took it as being mocked if someone dared say such a thing about her day.

Shego should have known that it was not going to be a good day the moment that she left the house that morning. First of all, she had literally fallen out of bed because of the alarm clock being turned up to full volume; it sounded worse than someone washing a cat against a brick wall. She guessed that it happened when she accidentally knocked the damn thing over the night before. She then proceeded to stub her toe on each foot before she even made it to the bathroom to wash her face. She should have taken the hint that the cosmos was obviously sending her and just had gone back to bed right then and there, but no, she had to continue on to tempt fate. She actually went out into the world.

The raven-haired woman threw on her usual clothing of black and green color and then she left her condo. She barely made it two inches onto the street before a car sped by and splashed her from a puddle thanks to a heavy rain storm from a couple of days ago. She yelled some things that would have made a soldier blush before stomping back into her home to change her clothes. She made sure to remember the license plate number of the bastard that splashed her because, boy, she was going to get that asshole back personally when she had a free moment.

She managed to make it to her car without any more mishaps, but once she got in the car that was another matter all together. She discovered that her music was gone first. Her car had been broken into, damn it! Now, what kind of bullshit was it when she, a law enforcement agent, was fucking robbed? At least her CDs were the only thing in the car of value aside for the car itself.

Shego drove a rather expensive two-seat green sports car; well, she used to drive it anyway. As luck would have it, the gods were not done fucking with her just yet. Her car would not start and just about every light on the dashboard came on when she tried to start the blasted thing. Well, at least now she could see why whoever broke into her car did not steal it; the person could not steal it.

"What a comforting thought," Shego muttered sarcastically to herself.

That was great, just great because now she had to take the damn train to work. She hated the train with a passion. If she could blow the train up, she would, but she needed it for the moment. Her mind was telling her that she should have just stayed in bed already, but she was outside already, so she continued on.

She, of course, missed the first train by mere seconds and was therefore late to work; she knew she would be late the moment that she found out her car was not working, though. The thing was that had she caught the first train, she would not have been over an hour late for work. It did not get any better when she got to work.

Being an hour late for work made it mandatory that her boss crawl up her ass for ten minutes; it had to be rather crowded up there considering how pissed she was already. She supposed that the funny thing was that she had hit her tolerance level for the day and it had only been nine in the morning. The considerate thing to do would have been to warn her co-workers about her mood, especially since she could set her hands on fire and she was a master of countless styles of self-defense.

Most of the people that worked with Shego were used to her being in a horrible mood. They usually stayed away from her anyway. She was cranky on her best day and borderline homicidal on her worst.

After being thoroughly reprimanded for being late, which Shego insisted was not her fucking fault to begin with and that was the edited version of her words, she went to change into her work clothes. The locker room was empty; apparently, she had been the only person late that day. She wondered where everyone was and then she recalled that they were supposed to meet up for the monthly status report. Well, damn it, now she had to get chewed out again by her boss for being late to that very important meeting.

"Ah, Shego, you decided to join us," Doctor Director commented when Shego stepped through the door and entered the conference room.

"Don't start," Shego barked as she leaned against the back wall.

"That's a horrible tone to take with your superior, not to mention the person that got you this job," Doctor Director said smugly.

"So, what do you want, a fucking cookie?" Shego retorted.

"Some respect would be a good start. You need to be here on time. I don't care what the excuse."

"It was my first time being late," Shego argued through gritted teeth.

"Make it the last time too."

The pale woman only rolled her emerald green eyes; she really did not want to hear it, whether it was from her boss or not. She was in a mood that did not put her boss above an ass-whipping at the moment. It was not like she cared so much about the stupid job that she would not hit her boss, especially since she knew that it would take a lot for Doctor Director to fire her. An ass whipping would probably get her suspended, especially if she won. So, she held off on slapping Doctor Director while they were on the clock.

The meeting ran like one long reprimand in Shego's direction, which they usually did. There were talks of excessive force; Shego figured that if criminals did not desire to be hit with plasma blasts then the wise thing would be to find new careers. She was not there to hold their hands while they robbed places blind.

Up next was the speech about property damage, which was one of the few things that Shego tried not to do, even though she had a reason for it if it came up. Her blasts could do damage, but she since she did not throw them too often, only used them to make her hands more dangerous, it was rare that she hit anything that was not breathing. If she did hit something of value, she shrugged and moved on. She always asked would the people feel better if she just let the often deadly criminals go to save a few cars.

The last item on the menu was the budget and public relations. The budget and public relations went hand in hand like a couple that hated each other. Their department funding counted on how much the public liked them and the majority of them were not people friendly.

Their department was a special brand of law enforcers and they did not see why they had to please the masses; they were not politicians. Their popularity typically steadily declined until they did something really big, like catch someone bent on blowing up the city or something like that; they usually went after super-powered criminals or just advanced criminals that were too much for the regular police. The city was actually crawling with all kinds of murderous lunatics with all different types of agendas. Sometimes they took hostages and made demands, or destroyed buildings, or like that damned day, released a giant blob monster into the streets that just wanted to eat everything. Hands down, bio-eco criminals pissed Shego off the most because they did the strangest things for the weirdest reasons. Seriously, what was a hungry blob supposed to accomplish?

Shego still did not have an idea as to who released the blob monster and, quite frankly, she did not give a damn who it was that did it. The person was on her long "ass-kicking" list just because she had to fight the damn monster. She was willing to bet that she had been given the disgusting assignment for mouthing off to the big boss that morning. But whatever the reason, it was up to her to stop the mutant slime-ball.

It had not been too difficult to the stop the stupid monster, but it slimed her. She had sky blue glop in her hair and it drenched her cat suit uniform. She also had to subdue the thing without killing it, so their lab super-nerds could figure out what it was and, hopefully, where it came from. She did not give a damn about that.

Doctor Director did point out that Shego should care just a bit about the creature, considering the fact that she was covered in it. The raven-haired female hated to admit that her chief had a point. It helped her care because the slime smelled really bad.

The best news of the day was that the slime thing was relatively harmless, only very hungry. If the thing was relatively harmless then what was the point in releasing it into the city? Probably just some scientist with a sick sense of humor let the thing go for a laugh; hey, it happened more often than people knew. It happened much too often for her taste; once was too often as far as much her department was concerned. They were serious protectors of the city (most of them anyway) and they did not have time to go chasing gags let loose by one of the city's many scientists.

Shego decided to cut out from work the moment that her shift was over because she was not going to press her luck with the way things were going and with the way that she had anger her boss. She knew that if Doctor Director caught sight of her, she would get stuck with doing overtime somehow, either getting put on a stakeout, or helping some moron with a report, or some other mundane, meaningless task to teach her to shut her mouth sometimes. She did not have the patience to do anything like that; she just wanted to get home, go to bed, and end the day.

* * *

Shego trudged down the street to her condo. She was happy to be home; the train took so damn long. It did not matter though, she was home and she could just put the day behind her. She came to the front gates and noticed that there was a big cardboard box off to the side.

"What the hell? How dare somebody just dump their crap here," Shego grumbled and she went to kick the box just because it seemed like a great way to vent her frustration.

The emerald-eyed female gave the box a good, swift kick and was going to do it again, but the box made a noise. She craned an onyx eyebrow because, as far as she knew, boxes were not supposed to yelp. She thought someone might have abandoned a dog or cat in the box, so she opened it to inspect what was going on. The contents caused her to leap back in pure shock, which was amazing because she felt like she had seen it all and it was hard to surprise her. There was a dead body in the box.

Okay, it turned out that Shego had jumped to the wrong conclusion; the body in the box was far from dead. The redhead was eating way too much to be dead. Shego only stared at the girl as she gobbled everything on her plate.

"May I have some more, please?" the redhead requested with a strangely angelic smile.

"Yeah, sure, whatever," Shego grumbled.

The raven-haired woman sighed and went to fix the girl another plate of cutlets, rice, black beans, and cabbage. She then proceeded to stare again as the redhead began wolfing down her second helping. Shego studied the girl, who she bet could not be anymore than eighteen years old and she thought that might even be pushing things. She had on a black tank top that showed both of her arms were heavily bruised; her right hand was also damaged, but that was not stopping her from eating.

"So, kid, what's the deal?" Shego inquired after a few minutes.

"Huh?" the redhead replied while taking a second to look up from her meal and pay her hostess some attention, as that was the polite thing to do.

"What's the deal? What were you doing in the box?" Shego clarified.

"Oh, I guess I got beat up," the teen answered with a rather sheepish look on her face.

"You guess?" Shego asked. She figured that being beaten up would be something definite, either she was or she was not. There should not be anything to guess about.

"Well, I remember three guys and them saying something about how they didn't want me around. I was going to run because I didn't see the point in getting into a fight with them over something so stupid, but they caught me by surprise. They used some kind of powder and I got all dizzy. Next thing I know, I'm in your house," the redhead explained as if it was nothing and then she looked around. "This is a nice place you got her. It's totally spanking," she commented with another smile; it was more cheerful than angelic that time.

"Whatever. What's this something stupid they beat you up for?" the older woman inquired.

"I think it was about being on their turf."

"So, a gang beat you up?" Shego guessed. There was no shortage of gangs in the city.

"I don't think they were a gang. There were only three of them," the redhead answered.

Shego nodded to show that she accepted that response and she just let the girl eat after that. The raven-haired woman did continue to silently inspect her guest. Aside from the bruises, the girl appeared a bit dirty, which tended to happen after any good butt-kicking. The bad thing was that the teen smelled too, like she had been in that box all day or maybe even longer than that. She figured that it would not hurt for the girl to get cleaned up while she could.

"When you're done, you can go in the bathroom and take a shower," Shego suggested/ordered. It was either bathe or get out because that stench was enough to bring tears to her eyes.

"That would be so great. I'm not too sure I can do a good job with my hand all messed up, though," the teen mused aloud while flexing her right hand. She hissed a bit as she moved the injured part; she did not think that it would hurt as much as it did to make such a simple motion with her hand.

"What are you getting at?" Shego asked in a suspicious tone.

"Do you suppose you could help me?"

"Take a shower? Hell, no. I did enough by feeding your greedy ass," the officer answered.

"But, I can't really move my hand."

Shego stood by her "hell, no" while the girl went back to eating. Afterwards, Shego found herself giving the redhead a hand in bathing because the teen's right hand was borderline useless for the moment. She washed the redhead's hair while the teen took care of washing her body.

"It's great to have a hot bath," the teen stated with a relaxed sigh while Shego was trying her best to not think about how she was in the bathroom with a nude stranger with her hands in the girl's head. Shego remained silent until her guest was about to turn around.

"Hey, don't move," the raven-haired female barked.

"Well, you're not talking, so I thought if I'd look at you, I'd figure out what was wrong," the younger female explained.

"What's wrong? What's wrong is that I'm in a bathroom with a naked bum that I don't know at all and I'm shampooing her freaking scalp," Shego pointed out the obvious.

"Oh," the girl nodded to show that she understood. "Thanks anyway." The redhead smiled.

Shego frowned; apparently, she had found a kid that was emotionally imbalanced or something close to it. She could not think of another reason why the girl would smile and thank her after she called her a bum. She decided not to think too much on the matter because she figured that she would be rid of the teenager by the morning.

The raven-haired woman provided the teen with new clothes, which were slightly too big for her because Shego was taller and she filled out a little more than her guest. She went to take her own shower while the redhead curled up on the sofa to watch television. When Shego came back into the living room, she found her guest sleeping soundly on the couch. She retrieved a blanket and put it over the teen before going to bed herself.

When Shego rose in the morning, she found the teen still out on the sofa. She did not think anything of it. She made herself some breakfast and left her guest a plate on the table. She left a note requesting that the redhead lock up on her way out or else. She then left for work.

* * *

"What do you mean you found a kid in a box?" Doctor Director asked Shego.

The raven-haired woman had to tell Doctor Director about how she found a teenager in a box outside her home because, believe it or not, she and Betty were good friends; as far as a person could be good friends with Shego. They had grown up together; Betty was actually a few years older than Shego. But, they had the common interest of loathing their brothers and coming from eccentric families to bond over. They always had a lot in common and that kept them close through out the years.

"What do you mean what do I mean? I found a kid in box outside my house. She was lying in the damn box," Shego replied. She felt that was explanation enough. It was as straightforward as she could be.

"What was she doing in the box?" Betty asked. She had never heard of something so farfetched. Who just found kids in lying boxes outside their condos in good neighborhoods? No one that she could think of.

"I don't know, pretending it was a damn fort or something. She said that she was beat up and that was about the last thing she remembered," the pale woman answered.

"And you let her stay at your house?" the brown-haired woman asked incredulously.

"I couldn't just leave her in the box, especially after how hard I kicked the stupid thing," Shego argued.

"You don't know anything about this kid, though. She could've robbed you blind by now."

"I'd like to see the little bitch try."

"Right, I forgot who I was talking to for a moment, fucking superwoman. So, what're you going to do?" the one-eyed female inquired.

"Nothing. She should be gone by the time I get home," Shego answered with a shrug. She did not see any reason for the kid not to be gone by the time she returned home. It was not like they were friends or anything like that. They did not even know each other.

"Well, what's her name?"

"Don't know, don't care. I just want the little bitch gone by the time I get home," Shego stated.

"If you say so. I don't see why you took the kid into your house and you don't know anything about her. She could be a runaway, a serial killer, a terrorist. I can keep going if you like," Betty said.

"You know I'd prefer that you didn't," Shego commented.

Doctor Director only smiled slightly and shrugged. Shego frowned while trying to not think about the question of the conversation, which was why had she taken that kid into her house? She should have left the redhead in that stupid box on the street and she probably would have lived a much happier life, she figured. Well, too late to dwell on that now.

Shego left work after talking to Betty a bit more. She yawned as she came to her condo, thinking about how good her bed was going to feel after a nice, long shower. She opened her door and was surprised for the second time in as many days because she was greeted by that redheaded girl. Shego hated surprises now.

"Welcome home!" the redhead grinned.

"What the hell are you still doing here?" Shego demanded to know.

"Well, I was waiting for you."

"Why?"

"Um…because you cook very well and I was hoping I could have some more to eat. Besides, I don't have bus fare to leave," the redhead explained with a bit of a laugh.

Shego growled as she went into her jacket pocket. She pulled out her wallet and opened it. She yanked out a few bills and practically flung them at the teenager. The guest only looked at the money as it dropped to the carpeted floor. She then turned her gaze back to the emerald-eyed woman that owned the place.

"Are you going to make more chicken for dinner?" the redhead asked as if she was unaffected by the blatant disrespect to her person. She had that angelic smile plastered on her face again.

Shego growled in fury, but marched away to put her things away. She then began cooking dinner. She prepared baked ziti and her guest ate like a girl possessed. She noted how pleased the teen appeared while eating. The redhead glanced up when she felt the eyes of her hostess on her and then she smiled at the older woman. Shego sucked her teeth and turned away from the girl, figuring that eyeing the teen was only encouraging the little fool.

"May I have some more, please?" the injured girl requested.

"Huh? Oh, sure," Shego replied and she got the redhead seconds on her meal.

"This is so good. You're a great cook, ma'am. Thank you very much," the teen said.

Shego only rolled her eyes. She wanted to get rid of the annoying brat. If she wanted to live with a teenager, she would have stayed home, she silently commented to herself. She tried to think of something to say to the girl that would get the bum to leave and then she got an idea.

"Hey, kid," Shego said.

"Yes?" the redhead answered.

"How'd you like to stay here?"

"Stay here?" the younger woman echoed.

"As my pet," Shego added smoothly, like it was a normal thing to offer.

"Stay here as your pet?" the redhead said with a rather dubious expression gracing her smooth features.

Shego thought that she had the girl. Surely, the redhead would be more than insulted by such a suggestion. She would probably lose her temper and storm out while declaring that Shego was a very sick woman. She would be rid of the stupid kid and then she could move on with her life.

* * *

Wonder who the redhead is? Yeah, I doubt it. But, will Shego be rid of her pest thanks to her outrageous suggestion? Find out next time if you're still reading. Please, still read it! Okay, I'm done bugging.


	2. Problem Two: Keeping a pet

I don't own these characters and I don't own this idea. Disney owns the characters and Yayoi Ogawa owns the premise.

Problem Two: Keeping a Pet

_What do you do when think you have someone exactly where you want them and then it turns out the person has you instead?_

"I accept," the redhead replied to Shego's proposal to become the pale woman's pet. Yes, her pet.

"You what?" the raven-haired woman shouted in disbelief. She was almost certain that she had never heard something so stupid in her life.

"I accept," the girl repeated with a grin and two thumbs up.

"You're serious?" Shego asked in a deadpan tone.

"Yup! This is so spanking. It must be my lucky day," the girl proclaimed merrily. She was even smiling, much to Shego's confusion.

Shego stared at her guest incredulously, like she was trying to figure out if the girl had a brain or not. She was missing how it was that the girl viewed it as lucky day to be offered to role of some stranger's pet. The older woman could not help wondering what it was that she had gotten herself into. Well, she could not back down now; after all, she had been the one to make the offer. It was just that she had been so certain that the girl would refuse.

"Fine, then you'll be my pet. So, what's your name?" Shego inquired.

"Well, isn't that really up to you?" the teenager replied.

"What?"

"Well, whenever someone gets a pet, it's the owner's duty to name the pet. So, you get to tell me what my name is," the teen explained.

The dark-haired woman eyed her new pet suspiciously. She wondered who in her right mind would let another person name her. She did not argue with the girl for the simple fact that her logic was sound. An owner always did name a pet, even though that was usually because a dog could not tell a person what his name was no matter how old he was.

Shego looked at her new pet and wondered what she should call the girl. She was leaning toward "Pumpkin" because of the orange tint to the girl's fire red hair, but she also had the desire to just be very cliché and call the girl "Princess." She was not sure which to go with, so she figured to go with both because she did not want it to seem like it was such a big decision.

"We'll alternate between Pumpkin and Princess," Shego informed her new girl.

"All right," the redhead agreed to that with a smile. "So, do I get to sleep at the foot of your bed?" she asked with a laugh.

"No, I should buy a doghouse, but I don't feel like wasting the money. I've got a loft storage space that I don't use, so you can use that," Shego told the teen.

"Spanking, I get my own space and everything!" the redhead cheered.

The pale woman only shook her head while still wondering what it was that she had gotten herself into. After dinner, Shego showed her new pet to the space that would be hers. There was a ladder hanging from the wall near the front door that led up to the loft, which was rather large space. It was about fifteen by fifteen feet with a hardwood floor. There was even window on the ceiling, like a mini-skylight.

The teen hopped up to the space and lay down on the floor like a lazy cat. She rolled around for a few moments before sighing like a content child. Shego just rolled her eyes to the girl's behavior.

"Are you good to go?" the law enforcement agent asked in an annoyed tone.

"Well, I guess. Hey, could you wash my hair again? My hand isn't feeling that good yet and you did a ferociously slamming job," the redhead requested.

Shego sighed in frustration, but she did wash her new pet's head once again. She also examined the girl's injuries and bandaged the teen up. The girl seemed so very content and Shego smiled, but when she realized what she was doing, she went right back to scowling. It was not like she liked the brat or anything.

--(New day)

The redheaded teen lay on the black leather sofa in her new home, dozing like she did not have a care in the world. She twitched as the door clicked open. Shego stepped into the apartment and her pet shot off of the couch and charged her. The raven-haired woman barely got the door shut before "Pumpkin" had latched onto her waist, hugging her tightly. The emerald-eyed female could not help growling in annoyance.

"What have I told you about hugging me?" Shego barked at the younger woman. She had never met such a bothersome, loony eighteen-year-old.

The girl pouted and released her mistress. Shego looked down at the teen and when she saw the expression on the girl's face, she sighed. She rubbed the top of the teen's head like a person would pet a kitten. The redhead smiled; apparently, she was glad for the attention just like a kitten.

"So, what are we having for dinner?" the pet asked.

"Is that all you think about? All you do is eat and sleep. I bet you were sleeping before I came in," Shego replied.

The teenager only smiled sheepishly, which let her owner know that she was right in her assumption. Shego pushed by her irksome, jovial pet and went to get comfortable in the house. The redhead yawned while returning to the soft couch and she flopped down onto the cushions.

Shego came into the living room a little while later to see that the girl was watching cartoons. She shook her head as she went to the sofa and moved the teen's head from the couch, so she could sit down. The redhead dropped her head onto Shego's lap once the older woman was sitting.

"What's this shit?" Shego demanded to know.

"Classic cartoons," the redhead answered.

Shego only grunted, but she did not change the channel. She stroked the teen's red hair while the girl dangled one of her arms from off of the couch. Before long, the girl was actually purring like a pleased feline. Occasionally, the teen laughed at something that happened on the show, but other than that they were quiet. Shego happened to glance down at the girl's hand, which was resting in Shego's lap.

"Pumpkin, we're going to have to trim your nails today," the raven-haired woman commented as she took the teen's hand in hers and stared at her fingernails. Some of the nails were getting too long and others were chipped, so they needed to be cared for.

"Okay," was the reply that was accompanied by a long yawn.

"And trim your hair."

"Okay."

Shego knew that her pet would not argue because she was just that lazy. Ever since the girl agreed to be a pet, she allowed herself to be treated just like a cat or a dog would for the most part. She did not have any objections to most of the things that Shego wanted to do for her.

Once the cartoon show was done, Shego went to start dinner and then set about the tasks of grooming her pet. She trimmed the girl's hair and nails before they sat down to eat. They then relaxed for a while before Shego ordered the girl to bed at the same time that she was going to sleep, which was a routine that they had worked themselves into already.

"Can I sleep in your bed?" the redhead requested.

"Don't be stupid, Princess. Now, go to bed," Shego commanded.

The teenager pouted, but that did not get her any sympathy points. She climbed up to her loft space to go to sleep. She had fluffy mattress that was similar to a pillow that probably could fit a daybed, but she had it on the floor. She had quite a few blankets; one of them with a cartoon rabbit on it that had its middle finger up. Her owner had thought that the blanket was cute apparently.

The girl crawled into bed and listened as Shego cut off all of the lights. She heard the door to her mistress' bedroom open and close. She sat up and peered over the edge of her loft space and saw that Shego had gone to bed. The redhead grinned to herself.

* * *

Shego woke up in the morning and could just sense that something irksome was going on before she could even focus her mind. She opened her emerald eyes and had to wait a moment for them to fully process what the problem was. There was space in her queen-size bed was being occupied by more than just her.

"Pumpkin!" Shego shouted in pure fury.

The teenager leaped up from her resting place, which had been very close to the owner of the apartment. She yelped when she noticed how upset her mistress appeared. She offered Shego a nervous grin, hoping that would gain her forgiveness.

"What did I tell you about sleeping in my bed?" the older woman growled as she literally kicked the girl out of the bed. The pet did not make a noise when she hit the floor.

"But, your bed is more comfortable than mine!" the redhead whined while remaining on the mint green carpet.

"I don't care," Shego snarled. "Did you touch me?" she asked in a suspicious tone. Her pet liked to rub up against her, even though she knew that Shego disliked such actions.

"I only rested my head on your breasts."

"What!" the green-skinned female screamed and her hands ignited in a familiar grass-colored flame.

"I was kidding!" the teenager cried as she ducked a plasma blast and then she made a run for the door.

"Come back here!" Shego ordered while casting the covers off of her body as if they greatly offended her. She leaped out of bed to chase that little pest.

The redhead yelped when she saw that her mistress planned to run after her. She slid underneath a big box in the living room and whimpered as she heard Shego stomping after her. She yapped again when there was banging on the top of the box.

"Come on out, Pumpkin," Shego commanded.

"I was just kidding!" the olive-eyed teen wailed as if she was truly frightened.

"But, you were still in my bed. What did I tell you about that?"

"But, it's so warm."

"I don't give a damn. Pets are not allowed on the bed. You're not supposed to be in my bed. Now, come out and get what's coming to you!" Shego barked.

"I'm not coming out."

"Fine, go ahead and stay in the damn box."

The emerald-eyed female stormed away from the cardboard shield and left her pet sulking in the living room. The redhead poked her head out of the box when she started to smell breakfast cooking. She cautiously made her way from underneath the container and slowly crawled to the counter that separated the kitchen and the dining room. She put her head halfway above the counter so that her eyes and half of her nose were visible. She watched the older woman fixing a plate of food.

"May I have some, please?" the girl requested.

"Naughty pets aren't rewarded," Shego replied.

The redhead pouted for a moment and then she began whining loudly like an injured puppy. She made the sound even more pathetically when it did not have any affect on the taller female. Shego growled when she noticed the girl's expression, not to mention the bothersome noise that was coming from her.

"Fine, there!" Shego shouted while shoving the plate into the girl's hands.

The redhead smiled in triumph and walked off to the table to eat the symbol of her victory. Shego made a plate for herself; they were having scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast. She then poured herself and the girl a glass of orange juice each before sitting down at the table. Shego glanced at the redhead to see her eating as she usual did, like a hungry bird. The teen practically swallowed food in front of her because of the speed that she used when eating.

"Pumpkin! We go through this every damn morning. Eat like you have teeth in your damn skull," Shego commanded. She hated that the brat ate as if the food was going to run off of the plate; it was dead, so it was not going anywhere.

"Yes, ma'am," the teen muttered and she began eating more civilly.

Shego ate breakfast and then prepared for work. She patted the teen on the head and then left to get to work. The girl marched to the sofa and flopped down on the black cushions.

* * *

"Let me see if I have this straight, you're got a kid living at your house that you're calling your pet and she doesn't do anything at all?" Doctor Director asked because she was sure that she had misunderstood the words that Shego had just spoken.

Shego and her boss were at a café, having lunch. The place was only a couple of buildings down from their station. They had gone out because they doubted that they would be needed for anything as it was a slow crime week, especially the bizarre crimes that they handled. They had been doing a lot of paperwork that week.

"She gets on my fucking nerves," Shego replied. She had never met such a pathetic creature in her life.

"Everybody does that. But, what I'm saying is you don't make her do chores or something?" the one-eyed woman inquired.

"She's just a pet," Shego answered with a shrug.

"I know, but she's capable of doing something, right?"

Shego pondered the question; was her pet capable of doing something right? In the beginning, she tried to get the girl to do some chores because that seemed like the thing to do. At first, she sent the girl to do the grocery shopping and they ended up having pasta for five days straight because the stupid creature loved pasta so much that it was all she purchased. Shego supposed that it could have been worse considering how much the teen loved cake; she could have bought a week's worth of cake to eat. Well, it did not seem that she could do that right.

Then there was the time that she tried to get the girl to do the laundry. What an adventure that was. The redhead had managed to flood the floor to the room and she ruined the first load of clothes; they looked like they had been in a fire. They did not try her luck on another load; Shego did the rest of the laundry and the girl sulked underneath her box until she was sure that the raven-haired woman was no longer upset with her.

Shego then tried one last thing and that was just for the teen to pick up some dry cleaning; oh, yeah, that was fun. She recalled getting a phone call from her distressed pet early in the evening. The girl whined over the phone about how she had gotten lost; Shego had a very good laugh while giving the redhead directions home. It was about that time that she stopped trying to give her pet chores or any responsibility whatsoever.

"She's just a pet," Shego replied to the question of the teen being capable of doing anything. It seemed that was only the olive-eyed girl was good for.

"So, she doesn't cook?" Betty asked.

"She's not allowed near the stove," the raven-haired woman answered. She really did not want to see the damage that her little idiot could do when fire was involved.

"She doesn't clean?"

"The vacuum scares her."

"Like a dog?"

"Yeah, just like a dog in fact," Shego answered while remembering the girl cowering under her box while Shego rested the vacuum cleaner right next to the cardboard fortress. It had been rather amusing to Shego; it was a good way to punish the little brat too.

"So, she's a freeloader."

"She's a pet," the younger woman repeated for the third time.

"All right, all right. Did you ever find out where she came from or if she's a runaway?" the one-eyed female inquired.

"She said that she was a wanderer," Shego replied in a cynical, yet amused tone.

"In other words, she was homeless."

"That's what I've gathered," Shego confirmed.

"She could still be a homicidal maniac," Betty pointed out in a know-it-all tone.

"Please, Pumpkin is so incapable of doing anything and so frightened of everything that I'm surprised that she even lived this long," Shego declared and Betty laughed a little bit.

* * *

Shego went home and braced herself for what she knew was coming as she opened the door. She hardly got her foot through the opening before she was being hugged, much to her annoyance. She growled while wondering how the girl always knew that she was at the door before she even got in the house.

"What have I told you about this?" the older female hollered at the top of her lungs.

"I missed you," the girl answered and then she noticed that her mistress was holding a white, plastic bag. Now, she was curious. "What's that in the bag? Is it for me?" the teen asked eagerly.

"Get off of me!" Shego ordered.

The redhead pouted and released her rather cuddly owner, in her opinion anyway. Shego stepped further into the house and passed the shorter female. The girl followed Shego and continued to eye the bag that was in her hand. The raven-haired woman launched the bag onto the sofa and noticed that her pet was set to go after it.

"Don't touch it," Shego commanded with her back to the girl.

"Aw, man," the redhead complained with a groan.

Shego went to get comfortable in the apartment. She showered and then changed into house clothes of black shorts and a cut off green tank top. She then returned to the living room and looked around; the redhead was missing.

"Pumpkin," Shego called while going to sit down on the sofa and she grabbed the white bag.

"Yes?" the redhead replied while jogging into the living room from the direction of the kitchen.

"You weren't eating anymore sweets, were you?" Shego asked in a suspicious voice.

"Nope," the redhead denied the charges. Her eating sweets without permission? Never because that would be against the rules, like sleeping in Shego's bed.

"Then what were you doing?"

"Um…" she trailed off and tried to think of something.

"Bad girl. Bad," Shego reprimanded her pet.

The redhead let her expression drop, but that did not gain her any sympathy points; she was working with a tough crowd, she thought. She sighed and then glanced at Shego and then at her box. She turned her eyes back to the older woman.

"Don't even think about it. Come here," Shego ordered.

The redhead considered going to the box and just waiting until the heat was off of her for eating the last of the cookies that had been in the kitchen, but she decided against that. She went to her owner, who pointed to the floor, silently commanding that her pet sit. The redhead did so without a word. Shego guessed that the one good thing about having a human pet was that she understood orders from movement.

"We're going to play a game," Shego informed the teenager.

"What game?" the redhead asked.

"Fetch," the older woman answered and she pulled out a forest green handball from the bag.

"Fetch?" the girl echoed. She was kidding right? She had to be kidding.

"Yes, you know the game, right?"

"Well, yeah…" the redhead trailed off. Of course, she knew the game. She even played it when she was younger with other people's dogs. She was aware that at the moment, she was not going to play how she usually played.

"So, we're going to play and if you do a good job, you get a treat," Shego told the teenager.

"All right!" the teen agreed with her usual enthusiastic grin.

Shego threw the ball once, pitching it across the room. The redhead went after the ball like a happy puppy would and proudly brought it back to Shego's waiting hand, who tossed the ball again. Her pet gladly retrieved the sphere and brought it back again. After a few more tosses, Shego was suddenly bored; honestly, she did not see why the hell dog owners liked to play such a stupid game.

"Is that it?" the redhead asked curiously as she brought the ball back and Shego was not holding her hand out.

"Yeah, that's it. Let's work on some tricks," Shego decided. She already figured out that she just liked to see how far she could take things before the girl snapped. She had yet to cross that line.

"Okay," the teen agreed while dropping the ball and allowing it to bounce away.

"Roll over," Shego commanded and her pet did the command. "Shake," Shego said and she put her hand out. The redhead shook her owner's hand as if she had paw. Shego then thought of some other stupid thing. "Speak," she said.

"Woof?" the girl guessed was the right answer.

"Good girl," Shego said and she rubbed the top of her pet's head. Leave it to her to find such a mentally challenged eighteen-year-old, Shego thought.

"So, I get my treat?"

"Here, knock yourself out," Shego replied while throwing the bag at the girl.

The redhead hopped on the bag as soon as it hit the floor. She opened it and pulled out a headband with black cat-like ears on it. She turned her olive green eyes up to Shego as if asking what kind of a gift was that.

"What?" Shego huffed.

"What's this for?" the teen asked.

"To wear on your head."

"On my head?" The redhead put the headband on her head and now it looked like she had cat ears.

"Yeah, I figured the cat ears would suit you. I'm going to make dinner," Shego said and she got up.

The owner of the house went to the kitchen while the teen checked to see what else was in the bag. She pulled out a plush toy and saw that it was cuddle buddy, a pandaroo. She grinned and charged into the kitchen, hugging the raven-haired woman around the waist and from behind.

"Ah! Why are you hugging me?" Shego screamed in frustration.

"Because you're such a great master," the redhead answered.

"Well, get off of me!"

The redhead grinned and released the angry Shego. The older woman glanced at her joyful pet and then turned her attention back to her task. The night went on as usual and they both retired to bed with Shego warning her disobedient girl that should she wake up and find the redhead near her, someone was going to end up with third degree burns. Her seemingly brain-dead pet only smiled at the threat.

The redhead tossed herself onto her mattress and waited for a little while. She rolled around, considering if she should go get in Shego's very comfortable bed. She wondered if the woman had any idea of how warm her body was; the teen doubted it.

"She probably doesn't know how comfortable she is. Well, maybe I'll stick around a bit longer and she'll figure it out," the redhead decided and she rolled over onto her stomach. She was about to close her eyes when she heard a familiar, but faint beeping sound. She pulled out a blue device from underneath her pillow.

"Hey, Kim."

"What's the stich, Wade?"

* * *

Next chapter Kim acts a bit more like she usually does and Shego kicks some butt.


	3. Problem Three: Going outside

Just to be clear, this is a completely different universe than the show's, although some of the details are still the same.

Still don't own any of these characters, but if that changes you'll be the first ones to know.

Problem three: Going outside…

_Do you ever wonder what your pet does when you are not around? Maybe your cat throws a party or your dog does dance routines? Highly unlikely for most pets._

Shego had a pet that could possibly throw parties while she was not around, but she doubted that her pet did such a thing. She believed that she had her pet all figured out. She was certain that her pet slept all day until she got home; the girl seemed to be that lazy and helpless. She doubted that she would ever meet a more dependent and pathetic creature than her pet. Yeah, she was sure that girl was a lost cause. Yeah, she bet that girl was just lounging around the house at that very moment.

Her pet was lying on the sofa. Kim had been reading a book, but she accidentally dropped it and just did not feel up to retrieving it at the moment. She yawned and thought that she might catch a nap before her owner got home. She closed her eyes and then came the beeping, just as she knew it would; Wade never failed to call when she was trying to recover from the last mission that he sent her on. She went into her cargo pants side pocket and pulled out her Kimmunicator.

"What's the stich, Wade?" she asked.

"Nothing much. I just wanted to remind you that you have to give a speech at Roundabout High School this afternoon. You did remember to write a speech for it, right?" Wade replied.

"Yeah, I did that while I was climbing over the Rockies to go retrieve that stolen earthquake machine. The handwriting is a bit shaky, but I'm pretty sure I can make due. Do I have a ride there?"

"Yeah, I got you one, even though the school did offer to pick you up," he reminded her.

"I know, but it's just not the same. Anything else aside for this?" she asked.

"No, nothing so far."

"I guess that's a good thing," she remarked, especially since she was a little worn out from the mission that she just got back from.

"Hey, Kim," Wade said before she had a chance to disconnect the communication.

"Yeah, Wade?"

He looked away for a moment before saying what he wanted. "I was just wondering if you made any kind of decision yet," he replied.

"No," she answered in a dull tone. Oh, she did not want to hear about that stupid decision anymore.

"Are you even thinking on it?"

"Of course I am."

"Then what are you going to do?" he asked.

"I don't know yet," she informed him. Why was she just not allowed to not know something for once? It was only once and everyone was acting like it was the end of the world. She just wanted to be left alone on the matter.

"So—" Wade tried to continue on with his line of questions, but Kim stopped him before he could even get out another word.

"Wade, if you continue this interrogation, I won't make it on time to give this speech," Kim pointed out.

"Oh, right. Sorry about that," he apologized.

"No big," she assured him with a forced smile.

"Later, Kim."

"Later, Wade."

The redhead picked herself up and went to go give a speech a local high school. She did not mind giving such lectures because she thought that it might make a difference for some teenagers to hear a fellow teen talk about some of her accomplishments to help them understand how much a human being could do. She wanted high-schoolers and even people younger than that to understand that they really could do anything if they put their minds, hearts, and souls into it. She knew that sometimes people did not believe her when she went through just some of her list of accomplishments, but if she reached a few people, then she felt that the little fifteen minute speech followed by questions was worth it.

--(New Day)

"What's the stich, Wade?" Kim asked as she was about to jump onto Shego's bed. Her Kimmunicator seemed to go off at the worse times; it always cut into something that she thought would be fun.

"You're needed on the coast. A boat went missing in a heavy storm and they're ready to call off the search, but the family of the men on board called for you," Wade reported.

"Wait, I'm a last resort?" Kim asked incredulously.

"Yeah."

"Why didn't they call me first? Way harsh on the self-esteem," she remarked.

"They didn't really want to bother you with what they assumed would be an easy find," he explained.

"And now look what happened. Got a ride?"

"Of course."

"Then I'm on my way."

Kim placed the Kimmunicator into her pocket and took off out of the condo to go help those in need; she told herself that her master's bed would be there when she got back. She figured that she should be able to make it back before Shego got home; hey, she could do anything. If she got back first, she would still be able to leap on her mistress' bed and lie there for a while. She was right with her calculations and made it back home first.

The redhead flopped down onto the sofa once she was done with playing on her owner's bed and closed her eyes. Then she heard keys in the door. She shot up off of the sofa and bolted to the front of the apartment as the door swung open. She was embracing her mistress before the older woman could grasp what was going on or even get into the house.

"Could you let me come in first!" Shego barked.

"I missed you," Kim replied.

"How could you miss me when you slept all day?"

"I did miss you."

"You're such a lazy pet," the green-skinned woman scoffed and her pet only smiled.

--(New day)

Shego was lounging on the sofa and watching television. She was supposed to be relaxing on her day off and she was. Her hyperactive pet was surprisingly not causing any trouble; more than likely because it was virtually impossible to cause problems while sleeping, Shego figured. Kim was resting peacefully with her head on Shego's lap. The older female was absently stroking her dozing pet's hair. Then suddenly the phone rang.

"Wha?" Kim said in a dazed tone as the startling noise disturbed her sleep; she had to watch those all-nighters, she silently told herself. She felt worked, but she still shot up like she heard loud fireworks going off and for a second, she was ready to jump into a fighting stance, but she then remembered where she was.

Shego did not say anything to her frightened girl. She reached over and grabbed the house phone. Kim watched her owner, who only listened to the person that called and she continued to subconsciously caress the younger female's soft red hair. Kim noted that her master seemed to be getting more irked by the second from the way that her ebony eyebrows were beginning to bend toward each other and a curl was forming at her lip.

"Yeah, fine. Whatever," the raven-haired female huffed and she disconnected the call.

"What's the stich?" Kim asked.

"Nothing. Pets shouldn't ask so many damn questions," Shego replied as she lifted Kim's head from her lap. The redhead let out a disappointed moan as Shego stood up and started toward her bedroom.

"Where are you going?" the teen hero inquired. She considered throwing a temper tantrum, but she doubted that would work if her master was leaving on her day off to do something that obviously spoiled her mood.

"Didn't I just say that pets shouldn't ask so many damn questions?" Shego barked.

"But, it's our day! I'm supposed to be able to lay on you all day," Kim whined while throwing a tantrum by rolling around on the sofa; there was a slim chance that it might work and she had to try it.

"Stop acting like such a brat. You need to go outside and do something anyway," the emerald-eyed female stated.

"Am I coming with you then?"

"No."

"Then what am I supposed to do outside?"

"I don't know. Something," Shego huffed in annoyance.

"I don't even have any money," Kim complained.

"So?"

"Don't you know that the first law of physics is that anything fun costs at least eight dollars(1)?" Kim replied.

Shego growled; there just could not possibly be a more annoying creature on the planet than the teenager staying with her. She went into her room and reemerged a few minutes later. She was dressed in her street clothes, which were black jeans and a sea green shirt. She went back to Kim while pulling out her wallet. She pulled out some money without bothering to count it and placed it on the coffee table.

"Take your lazy ass outside and do something fun," Shego commanded.

"I just wanna lay my head in your lap," Kim pouted.

"Tough luck. I've got a damn emergency at work that I have to take care of," Shego informed the redhead.

"You're so mean."

"Care to repeat that?" the super-powered woman inquired while holding up one fist.

"I just want to sleep," Kim groaned. She really did just want to get some sleep and she liked doing that with her head resting in Shego's lap.

"Stop acting so spoiled and just outside for ten damn minutes. When was the last time you were outside, you lazy brat?" the older woman asked.

Kim whimpered, even though she knew that would not get any kind of response from her owner, except maybe more anger. Shego stormed out of the apartment, leaving the redhead on the couch. The teenager sighed and grabbed the money that had been left for her use.

"I wonder what the big emergency is," Kim muttered as she went to change into some street clothes.

The redhead put on her cargo pants and a tank top before leaving the house. She jogged outside and wondered what she should do with the money. She did have more than enough money to take public transportation somewhere, but she usually ran places in the city if they were close enough; several miles still equaled close to her. She then thought about her owner talking about some emergency at work, so she pulled out the Kimmunicator.

"Sup, Kim?" Wade greeted the redhead.

"Hey, Wade. Do you know if there's some kind of big stich happening in Go City?" Kim inquired.

"Go City? I'll look into it," he replied and he turned his attention to his main computer monitor.

"Please and thank you," she said with a grateful smile.

Wade surfed around for about a second. "Well, there nothing really worth noting, except a bank robbery with hostages involved," he informed her.

"Is it really bad?" Kim asked because she was aware that Shego only handled high profile, deadly, borderline insane crimes.

"I'm pulling up an image of what's happening in real time from a security camera," he replied.

"You seriously rock, Wade," the teen hero complimented him as Wade's image was replaced with the picture of the interior of a building. She could see ten people on the floor in a corner and a couple of men in body armor and holding shotguns guarding them. "These guys look like more than bank robbers," she commented.

"They are packing some nasty looking weapons. Are you going to help? The Go City authorities didn't request you," Wade pointed out.

"I might just go check it out. I know how sensitive the police get when little miss teen wonder shows up out of nowhere without an invite," Kim replied.

"A lot of the time they don't have to yell at you like they do. Anyway, would you like to know where the bank is?"

"That would help, wouldn't it? Please and thank you again," she answered with her usual bright smile.

"No problem. It's on fourth and Rapid. You know how to get there?"

"I know. Thanks again, Wade."

"Hey, it's what I'm here for," he remarked with a smile of his own.

Kim placed the Kimmunicator back into her pocket and then she took off up the street. She knew a short cut to the bank that she was going to. It was really only a short cut for those that could make it through the many obstacles; for most people, it was more a surefire way to get seriously injured than anything else. She did not find the fences, garbage, barbwire, junkyard, or pack of dogs to be much of a problem. She hardly even noticed those things as she made her way to where she wanted to be.

When Kim came to the scene, she was on a rooftop of a building that overlooked all of the police activity and the front of the bank. She noticed a black car pull up to the other patrol cars and then her mistress got out of the driver side of the car. Kim sat down on the edge of the building that gave her the best view of everything that was going on and she leaned forward; she was now anxious to see what was going to happen.

* * *

"What's going on?" Doctor Director demanded to know from the uniformed officer in charge of the situation outside of the bank.

"The perpetrators are wearing bulletproof armor and are packing some high-powered shotguns and rifles. They're waiting for the safe to be opened by an electronic timer," the officer reported.

"They're ordinary people?" she inquired.

"As far as we know, ma'am," he answered.

Doctor Director sighed. "She's going to pissed that I called her in for this then," she muttered quietly to herself. She glanced at the bank and then at Shego, who was just waiting for her orders. She shook her head. "So, how many hostages are we talking about?" she asked the officer.

"A dozen, ma'am," he replied.

"Perps?"

"Four, ma'am."

"All right, you're going to need to clear this street," the one-eyed woman informed the officer.

"Ma'am?"

"Just do it," she barked and the officer ran off to follow her orders. "Shego," she beaconed her raven-haired friend over.

"Yo," the green-skinned officer huffed. She was trying to assess the situation from the outside and was failing to see why her rest and relaxation had been disturbed.

"Four perps and twelve hostages. Don't kill anybody," Doctor Director ordered.

"When have I?" Shego inquired. She did not kill people; she only neutralized them.

"No comas either. They're just idiots."

"Idiots that ruined my day."

"They're also normal idiots. Be as careful as you can."

Shego rolled her eyes and tugged on her gloves before starting toward the bank. Why did it seem like the universe wanted her to only deal with morons? But, if that was what the universe wanted, she would happily oblige as long as she could get rid of the morons in some way.

* * *

Kim could make out that her owner was wearing a bodysuit as a uniform. She noticed that the outfit was green and black like everything else that Shego wore; Kim could not help wondering why the law enforcement agent was so into green and black. Maybe it was because the colors matched her skin, eyes, and hair, Kim considered. She wondered if she would ever get to see Shego up close in that uniform.

"Such naughty thoughts," Kim scolded herself. "So, they're just going to send her in? This could be interesting."

The redhead figured that if it was necessary, she would have to find a better spot to see her mistress work. Or better still, some place where she could easily jump in if there was a problem. Although, she considered that jumping into a battle with her owner involved could cause a problem all its own while watching Shego enter the bank.

* * *

Shego stepped through the glass doors of the bank without many cares. The day someone normal beat her in a fight would be it for her. She would just quit fighting if someone normal ever beat her, even if it was more than one someone and they had high-powered guns. She could not believe she actually left the house for such crap.

She quickly went over the situation. There were the twelve hostages huddled in the corner at the far end of the room. Then there were the four robbers putting on backpacks and taking no notice of her. She studied their armor; it looked like nice work, she mentally commented. The armor was jet black and padded. There were slight bulges in the forearms; she was willing to bet that the armor housed weapons of its own. Seemed like it might be a challenge, she considered.

"I think you fellas should put all that back before I make you," Shego informed them, drawing attention to herself.

"Who the hell are you?" one of the men demanded to know while turning to face her.

"The negotiator, duh," she answered.

"Then where the hell is our ride?" he inquired.

"It'll be here in a moment. You wanted an ambulance, right?" she remarked with a devilish smirk.

"Hey, don't think we won't waste these hostages," the man said and, sure enough, a scope popped up from the patch atop his forearm. He aimed the scope at one of the hostages; all of the people shrank back into the corner.

"I like how you think I give a damn," she replied, still smirking it up.

The man decided to call her bluff and charged his weapon. She sucked her teeth; why didn't a criminal believe her just once? Once was all she asked. A red plasma shot came from the scope and was about to impact the head of a female hostage, but Shego stepped in. She threw a plasma blast of her own and the two shots negated each other, disappearing in a puff of harmless smoke. Shego could not help thinking about what a bad day the hostages were having; after all, they were just trying to make a buck at their boring jobs and then these bastards had to come and throw some spice into the mix.

Shego then attacked the robbers with a speed that they obviously did not expect. She used her hands and burned straight throw their guns, making them useless. She then put two men on their backs with a well place kick. Next, she grabbed the other two while they were busy gaping at how she took down their comrades. She flung the standing pair out through the glass front doors of the building.

The raven-haired woman turned her attention back to the two would-be robbers that were trying to get up. She yanked them by their forearms, making sure to break the weapons housed in the armor to avoid any problems from those. She tossed them outside too just as their companions were about to fire into the bank. The flying pair took down the other two. They all fell to the pavement; they were all lucky that the street was clear or they would have surely impacted police cars and probably would not be able to walk for a long time.

"Don't attack yet," Doctor Director commanded the regular police when she noticed that they were about to charge.

"Ma'am?" the officer that used to be in charge asked.

"She's not done yet," the one-eyed woman informed them.

Shego marched out of the bank through the now shattered doors like a stalking lion. She rolled her eyes while the bank robbers climbed to their feet in a daze. She watched them as they moved to determine which one out of the four was the most damaged, so she knew who needed the least attention.

Once she picked her first victim, she struck with the speed of an attacking cobra and just as dangerous. She took him down with a few punches, knocking him into the wall of a building across the street. She then turned to another one, who was trying to come up behind her. She flipped him over her shoulder and punched him in the chest. He gasped, but he did not get up. She finished the other two with just as much ease; the criminals were left lying out in the street and it did not seem like they were going to regain consciousness anytime soon.

The police that watched Shego as she worked were amazed by her moves. Her boss was a bit impressed, but for a different reason. The officer that had been in charge turned to Doctor Director.

"Now?" he asked.

"Go for it," she replied.

The police officers rushed in to gather the unconscious thieves. Shego strolled back over to Doctor Director and noticed that the older woman was eyeing her strangely. Shego decided not even to bother asking what the problem was.

"You moved the cars," Shego pointed out the obvious.

"I knew you'd go for the cars because we don't have enough damage complaints," Doctor Director commented sarcastically.

"Hey, if the public wants, I'll just leave the pricks to walk the street. It's not like they're a danger to me," Shego replied.

"Usually, you'd have left the bad guys in critical condition. Lately, though…" the brown-haired woman trailed off.

"What're you trying to say?"

"Nothing." Doctor Director decided against pointing out that lately, Shego had not been being as brutal as she typically was. It was almost like she was calming down and mellowing out.

"You think I've gone soft, huh?"

"I didn't say that. You just seem less irritable lately. You didn't even put up as much a fuss about coming in on such a call. Usually, you'd be whining about it was only four guys with second rate armor and weapons and how a competent four-year-old could have done the job, but the police asked for our assistance so they wouldn't be at fault should a hostage or two end up killed," Doctor Director pointed out.

"Whatever. Those guys just weren't worth my usual effect. And for the record, I'm not whiny," Shego retorted.

"Whatever," her boss scoffed.

* * *

Kim made her getaway via the rooftops and she kept replaying what she just witnessed in her mind. Apparently, her mistress kicked some serious butt. So, there was more to the angry woman than just super-powered glowing hands. Wow. Yeah, wow pretty much covered what she was thinking.

The redhead practically flew back to the apartment, only to find it empty. She pouted, even though she did not know why she thought that Shego would beat her home. She guessed that since Shego had arrived at the scene in a car, she assumed that she would get a ride home, but it seemed that she was wrong.

The car was probably only for work related things, Kim concluded. Besides, even if it was not, Shego would still have to go back to the station to change her clothes. She probably had to do a report too, so it was high unlikely that she would have been home first no matter what.

The teen changed out of her street clothes and put her house clothes back on. She went and lay down on the sofa. She knew that her master would be back soon, so she would wait.

Ten minutes later, Shego arrived home. Kim rocketed to the front of the place and attached herself to Shego's waist as soon as she was in the apartment. The raven-haired female rubbed the top of her pet's head.

"You didn't go outside, huh? You're such a lazy kid. That's it, I'm taking you outside," Shego declared and, for some reason, it sounded very much like a threat to Kim.

* * *

(1) That brilliant and oh, so very true line comes from Cartman from South Park. He was right, anything fun does cost at least eight dollars. It should be a law of economics or something.

Next time: Shego takes her pet out for some exercise and a couple of other people get let in on this rather unorthodox relationship.


	4. Problem Four: With friends like these

Hey, if you stop and you think about it, I don't own anything in this story really. The characters belong to Disney. The story is based on Tramps Like Us, which belongs to Yayoi Ogawa. The words belong to the English language. What's left for me?

I also don't own Donkey Kong (he gets a shout-out).

Problem four: With friends like these….

_What's the point in having a pet if you don't play games with it?_

Shego scanned the park that she was located in. As she eyed the area, she could not even recall the last time that she glanced at Run Park. It was just about the most beautiful park in all of Go City. It was lush and green all around, making her think that one day out of her life she should have stopped to just look at the place for the color if nothing else. It had everything that a nice park required; there was a picnic area, a public pool, a playground, tennis courts, basketball courts, a couple of baseball diamonds, a big open area just to run around in, and a rather big and clean pond.

"Hey, I got it!" Kim called to the older woman as she ran over while waving a Frisbee in her left hand.

"How in the hell does she keep finding this thing?" Shego wondered as her girl came jogging over to her and gave her the flying disk.

"You're going to throw it again?" Kim inquired while appearing rather enthused about the whole bit of going to get the toy. She was smiling and everything.

Shego rolled her eyes. Part of her brain told her to just shove the stupid Frisbee up her pet's ass for her being stupid enough to find such a mindless activity enjoyable, but she ignored the impulse to do such a thing. She threw the toy again as hard as she could, just as she had done the previous five times that she had flung the flat disk. Her pet charged off in the direction that she tossed the Frisbee in; the toy had disappeared behind some tall, thick trees that were bunched together.

"She needs the exercise, but this is damn boring. And how the hell does she keep finding that thing so damn fast?" Shego asked herself once again.

The raven-haired female figured that Kim would be gone for at least a couple of minutes if past experiences held true; she thought that most people would be gone much longer to hunt for the toy because of how hard she was flinging the thing. She looked around and then suddenly her cell phone rang. She checked the number and considered that it might not be so annoying to answer.

"Yeah, Betty," Shego answered her phone.

"I need you to save me," Betty said in a whisper.

"Why in the hell are you talking like that? What's the problem? Somebody kick your ass?" Shego teased.

"No," Betty huffed indignantly at the very idea that such a thing was possible.

"Then what in the hell do you need me to save you from?"

"What else? My family," the one-eyed woman answered. She thought that much was obvious when she called and whispered.

"Family? Oh, shit, is it already the first Sunday of the month?" Shego asked with a laugh.

"Shut up. Come get me now or just tell my mother that there's an emergency at work. She won't believe me if I tell her," the brave boss of the specials' office reported. Shego just wanted to fall out laughing, but she was in public.

"Yet she'll believe me?" Shego inquired. They went way back and Betty's mother knew her very well. Honesty was never really her thing unless she knew it was going to hurt someone's feelings.

"You know you'll sell the lie better than I would anyway. She always believes you, even when she knows you're lying. You have to get me out of here now."

"Let me guess, your little cousin is asking you about what's under the eye patch again?" the younger woman asked dryly.

"Yes," Betty groaned.

"You should just show her one day. I bet that would shut her up. Put your mother on the phone," Shego ordered while trying her best not to laugh outright at her friend's plight.

The raven-haired woman could practically hear her friend thanking her in her mind; those family get-togethers were killers and Shego knew about that first hand. She was on hold as her pet came into view with that damn Frisbee. Kim was still grinning and everything; Shego bet that her moronic pet was proud that she had found the stupid thing so quickly. Kim presented her master with the disk while bowing for whatever reason. Shego put her hand up to signal that her pet would have to wait.

"You're not going to throw it again?" Kim asked as if she was disappointed.

"I'm on the phone," Shego replied.

"But—"

"What have I told you about that?" the older woman growled.

"Not to interrupt you while you're on the phone," Kim answered with a groan. She then pouted, but it did not help.

"Precisely."

"So, are you—?"

"Stop," Shego snarled.

Kim pouted something fierce and Shego frowned. She yanked the plastic disk from her crybaby pet and flung the thing as hard as she possibly could in the direction of more trees and bushes. Kim thankfully ran after the toy and left Shego alone. The super-powered woman shook her head and sighed; she did have a small smile on her face despite how annoyed she was. Then she realized that she was being yelled at over the phone. By the time the yelling and conversation were over, she noticed her pet was coming back yet again.

"What is she, a Frisbee hound?" Shego wondered because she did not understand how the girl kept finding that stupid plaything.

"You'll never believe where this thing landed," Kim said as she held up the disk.

"Princess, I don't really care where it landed. That's not my problem."

"So, are you going to throw it again?"

"Sure, I'll throw it again, but this time you have to bring it back in your mouth," Shego informed the girl.

"In my mouth?" Kim asked with a perplexed expression on her face.

"Yeah, just like all of the other pets," Shego replied and she motioned to all of the dogs in the park that were retrieving items with their mouths.

"They wouldn't do that if they had opposable thumbs," Kim commented in her mind.

* * *

Kim was sleeping on the sofa when she heard noise by the door; it was light knocking, but she was not listening that intensely. At first, she was going to hop up from her resting place and rush to the door, but the she recalled that her mistress was already in the house. Well, if her owner was already home, who was that at the door? She did not make any motion find out.

"It's not locked!" Shego called to the person knocking at the door.

"I should've known," Betty commented as she entered the apartment.

The one-eyed female shut the door behind her and walked into the living room. She immediately noticed the napping teenager on the sofa; Kim was laid out like she had been flung from a catapult and happened to land on the sofa. The brown-haired woman was going to say something about the lethargic brat, but moved along when she saw the girl was completely knocked out. She continued on into the kitchen, which was where Shego was.

"So, my little white lie got you set free?" Shego inquired with a taunting smirk.

"You'd think being a kick-ass, take-charge, commander of a special law enforcement division twenty-seven year old would've been all I needed to get set free," Betty remarked.

"It never worked in the past, why should it work now?" the younger female commented.

"Because it needs to work just once."

"Obviously not as far as your mother's concerned. Besides, I bet you didn't say that to her anyway," Shego said.

"Regardless of the fact of what I said or did not say, it is still implied as I am an adult," Betty countered.

"You didn't say it."

"Last time I said anything to her that she wasn't in full agreement with, she slapped me in the mouth."

"That was ten years ago," Shego pointed out.

"All the same, I would rather not be slapped again by a woman that knows about ten different forms of martial arts," Betty commented.

"Safe call, but my mother used to slap me all the time and I still disagree," the raven-haired woman retorted.

"Which is why you're so confused now. Besides, don't you still go running for cover when your momma comes a-calling?" Betty teased her friend.

"Hey, you're not about get smart with me in my own house. I'll bust your ass and then throw you out right along with sleeping beauty out there."

"Speaking of sleeping beauty, what is the deal on her? She's sleeping at five in the afternoon?" Betty inquired because, as far as she knew, teenagers did not nap. They were usually out causing someone grief well into the morning.

"I ran her around in the park earlier. She's so lazy. She will not go outside if I don't take her. She would probably be fat by now if I didn't work her out as much as I do," Shego informed her friend.

"Maybe she wants to be a housecat. What are you doing in here?" Betty asked.

"Just making some sandwiches. We didn't eat lunch and she whines to no end when she's hungry. I'd offer you one, but knowing how your mother is when people dare enter the house, you probably got force fed enough to not have to eat for the week," the younger woman remarked.

"At least my mother offers food. Your mother rules by law of the jungle."

"Makes for interesting family reunions."

"Speaking of your mother, does your family know about your little pet?" Betty inquired.

"My family doesn't even know my address," Shego answered.

Betty nodded; she had forgotten who it was she was speaking with for a moment. Most people might have thought that Shego was the odd man out, so to speak, if they met her other siblings and then they might even think that she was the black sheep of the bunch. Actually, if a person really got to know the whole crew, Betty believed that the person would see that Shego was the best adjusted of the pack, even if her choice of pets was taken into consideration.

"Princess," Shego called as she grabbed two plates with sandwiches on them and carried them to the table. Betty followed behind her friend.

Shego put both plates down; the sandwiches were turkey with lettuce, tomato, cheese, and mayonnaise on a roll. Betty sat down while Kim zoomed to the table. The teen was about to bite into her sandwich when she was suddenly scolded.

"Pumpkin, don't be rude to the guest," Shego reprimanded her pet.

"Oh, I didn't notice her. Hello, miss," Kim greeted the other woman very politely and with a smile.

"Hello…?" Betty was not sure what to refer to the girl as.

"Her name is Pumpkin or Princess, which ever one you want to call her," Shego informed her friend.

The brown-haired female nodded to show that she understood, even though she thought that it was strange to call a teenager by names that she knew her friend had made up. She thought that the pet looked rather familiar for some reason, but she did not think anything of it. After all, why would someone that she recognized be her friend's pet? She could not see any reason for that because she did not know anyone that crazy or bizarre. She could not think of anybody that would voluntarily subject herself to Shego's attitude on the daily basis either without it being absolutely necessary.

"You know, I didn't know you had any friends," Kim commented, speaking to her mistress.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Shego growled.

"I just didn't know," Kim replied.

"I've got friends. I'm sure I have way more friends than you have, you dumb pet," Shego huffed. "And keep talking like that and I'll take your food away."

"No!" Kim whined.

"Naughty pets get punished," Shego pointed out.

"I'm sorry. I bet you have plenty of friends," Kim said with a smile, but that did not change her owner's expression.

--(New day)

The redhead waited outside the parking lot of Go University. She glanced down at her watch and saw that she was a little early, a bad or good habit of hers depending on the situation. She waited for a while before she could see both of the people that she was waiting for coming toward her. He opened his big mouth the moment that he saw her.

"K.P!" Ron hollered as if there were miles between them when it was hardly yards of space between him and Kim.

The blonde charged Kim and grabbed her into a monster hug; she guessed that he liked doing that because he was now half a head taller than she was. Ron looked different from the last time that she saw him. His hair was longer and defying gravity by going off in every direction all at once. He had dyed the edges of his hair a sandy brown, a little lighter than his eyes. It also looked like he was trying to grow a mustache, which she hoped was not the case.

"It's good to see you, Ron," Kim said as he released her from his all-powerful embrace.

"Yeah, it's been a couple of months, huh?" he asked.

Kim nodded in response and then turned her attention to Monique as she made her way up to them. The girls embraced each other tightly, but civilly. They let each other go to get a good look at the other. Monique was just as pretty as Kim recalled, not that she expected any less. She was dressed as fashionably as Kim had expected too; she was wearing a crimson skirt with a button-down white shirt and a designer v-neck poppy red vest.

"Girl, what is with the ears?" Monique asked when she saw the little black cat ears crowning Kim's head.

"Ears?" Kim echoed.

"Yeah, the cat ears on your head. What's the deal? I'm feeling them and all and I might have to steal the design for class, but what made you come outside with them in the first place?" Monique inquired.

"Cat ears?" Kim touched the top of her head and realized that she had come out in that headband. "Oh, it's a quirk," she replied.

"You are a quirk, you don't need anymore," Monique remarked.

"She's got a point there," Ron concurred.

"Come on, let's start walking," Monique suggested and the other two silently agreed. They started out of the parking lot and down the street.

"So, how are you two doing?" Kim asked.

"We're fine. Classes are just kicking our asses," Ron answered with a laugh.

"Our very fine asses," Monique added.

"They are fine," Ron concurred. "What about you, K.P? We haven't seen you in damn near two months. How's it going?"

"Everything is totally spanking," Kim answered.

"What do you mean by that? Are you still hopping from place to place?" Monique inquired.

"No, I've been living some place for like a month and a half now," the redhead answered.

"No way," Ron and Monique said in sheer disbelief. It was like she told them that the tooth fairy was real and she had proof; that was how amazed they were by the news and it showed on their faces.

"Yes way. I'm totally living with somebody," she assured them.

"Who?" both friends practically demanded to know.

"A woman," she answered.

"What's her name? Why are you living with her? How long have you known her?" Monique asked and she had about a billion other questions to go with those, but she figured she needed to pace herself.

"Her name's Shego," Kim replied and she thought that would be enough for at least one of her friends.

"Shego? Really?" Monique asked.

"Shego? It seems like that name should mean something to me," Ron muttered and the young ladies sighed.

"Boy, don't you watch the news ever? She was on there a while back. She wrecked a whole freaking building and punched one of the reporters that was trying to question her about it. She's a damn psycho cop," Monique informed the blonde.

"Oh!" Ron said like he knew what she was talking about and then his expression dropped. "No, still not ringing any bells."

"I'll ring your bell," Monique remarked while making a fist.

"Ron, maybe you should stay away from the events on campus every now and then and try to get in touch with the outside world, the real world," Kim commented.

"Hey, campus life is real enough for me. Parties kick major ass. Matter of fact, I was just at this popping party last night. The food was killer and the music was off the chain," Ron reported with a wide grin.

"Good food and music, it was like a Ron Stoppable trap," Kim remarked.

Monique laughed a little bit. "Back to you, Kim, and this living with this Shego woman thing. I didn't know you knew her," she commented.

"Well, I didn't know her at first. She found me in a box right outside her place and let me stay with her at her house," Kim vaguely explained.

"She found you in a box?" Ron inquired.

"And let you stay at her house?" Monique added. They thought that if Kim heard it back it would sound just as strange to her as it did to them.

"Yes," Kim replied; it sounded simple enough to her. Sure, she could understand why they might not grasp the whole "found her in a box" thing, but those were the facts. She had been in a box and Shego had found her.

"Okay, I understand that we're both just average, simple undergrad students, but explain this to us like it would make sense," Monique requested.

"It's no big. I'm her pet," Kim replied with a shrug.

"Her pet?" both friends gasped. They considered that Kim might have misspoken her statement in some way. It just was not possible for her to mean that _she_ was actually some woman's pet.

"Yeah, her pet," Kim repeated as if it was nothing. They could not believe that she would confess such a thing with a straight face.

"I'm thinking of two words," Monique said.

"Could they be 'sick' and 'wrong'?" Ron inquired in his usual over-the-top tone of voice.

"Exactly. What in the hell is going on with you, Kim? How in the hell are you somebody's pet? Like Rufus is a pet?" Monique asked, trying her best to grasp the concept.

"Whoa, hey! Rufus is not a pet!" Ron objected to such a label.

"That explains why he gets his own plate whenever we go out, but that doesn't explain why he has four legs," Monique remarked.

"This isn't about Rufus," the blonde reminded the African-American girl.

"Right, back to this pet thing, Kim. Has the pressure finally gotten to you? You've seriously snapped. I mean, that thin line between genius and insanity. You have so crossed it," Monique declared.

"Yeah, all over that insanity side," Ron agreed while making a hand gesture like a circle for no reason that the girls could see, except for the fact that he liked being dramatic.

"No, I'm still walking that very fine line," Kim tried to assure them.

"You can't be. You just admitted to us that you're some anger-prone, reporter-punching, nut-job's pet," Monique pointed out.

"It's not as bad as you think. She's not like how the papers and the news made her out to be. She's a cool person. She helped me when she didn't have to. She went way above and beyond with it too. Besides, she wants me around and I want to be around her, even if she doesn't believe that first part," Kim replied.

"What?" Ron requested clarification.

"She wants me around, but she doesn't want to believe it," Kim replied.

"How do you know?" he inquired.

"It's pretty easy to figure out. If she didn't want me around, she would've totally thrown me out or completely fried my box with me in after she found me in her bed a few days ago," the redhead explained.

"Damn, so many questions from that one sentence," Monique muttered. Part of her could not even believe what they were talking about. The rest of her could not believe how casually they were talking about it. Now, they were used to some crazy stuff, but their friend, Kim Possible, was a pet. How does one rationalize that?

"Fried your box?" Ron said in a bewildered tone.

"Set it on fire," Kim elaborated.

"This is so not quelling the quests. What the hell are you even talking about?" Monique asked.

"Okay, I'll try to go through this the best I can. Shego can set her hands on fire more or less and she hates it when I sleep in her bed. So, I crawled into her bed a few days ago because it is ferociously comfortable and she's mega warm. She woke up and freaked out as usual about the rules and whatnot. I ran for cover in my box and she only screamed at me," Kim explained.

"She only screamed?" Ron echoed. "I'm totally missing the good part about this," he commented.

"I could have been set on fire and reduced to a redheaded pile of ashes," Kim pointed out the good part.

"When you put it that way, yeah, I can see how that would be a good morning," the blonde remarked.

"Okay. So, you sleep in her bed?" Monique asked.

"I know what you're thinking, but there's nothing sexual about it," Kim replied.

"Oh, some girl on girl action. So, Kim, any chance of you coming over to me and Yori's place when you're done being a pet," Ron requested with make-believe suave.

"Ron, I'm not screwing you or Yori. I'm also pretty sure that Shego's straight or just not attracted to me," Kim informed her friends.

"Please, girl, that's doesn't mean a damn thing. First of all, there's not a person on this planet that isn't attracted to you, that includes us and I consider myself pretty damn straight," Monique proclaimed.

"But, you guys are different," the redhead argued.

"Different how?" Ron asked curiously.

"You're not Shego," she answered.

"Whatever. Are you attracted to her?" Monique asked the teen hero.

Kim glanced at her friend and laughed a bit, which was really all the other girl needed. The look in those olive green eyes said it all and the little chuckle gave away whatever else was there. Still, Monique liked to torment her friends by continuing on even when she knew the answer to something.

"I thought sleeping in her bed wasn't sexual," Monique commented.

"It's not. Just because I get in her bed and I use her chest as a pillow—" Kim was cut off right there.

"This is sounding suspiciously sexual," Ron interjected.

"Seriously," the brown-eyed girl agreed.

"It's not," Kim insisted. "Like I said, I'm pretty sure my mistress is straight and even if she isn't, I'm just a pet."

"Did you just say your mistress?" Monique inquired.

"I'm a pet," the redhead replied.

"She doesn't know who you are?" Ron asked curiously.

"No," Kim answered.

"That's probably the most appealing thing. So, you're going to try to stay with her forever and just not make a decision? You'll be a pet until she regains her sanity?" Monique inquired.

"Okay, the conversation has just been killed. It's been shot and we're leaving it bleeding in the streets. Let's just hang out because you know I don't want to talk about it," Kim stated.

"You never want to talk about it," Ron pointed out.

"Because it doesn't help make it any easier," the redhead replied.

"Hey, just look at it this way, you can do anything," the boy commented with a grin.

"Like get more numbers at the club than you do tonight," Kim teased.

"That's only because you'll talk to anything with two legs. They don't even have to be two working legs or connected to a breathing person. If me and Mo combine forces, though, let's just say it's a boo-yah for sure," the blonde declared.

"You always combine forces," Kim pointed out.

"Oh, yeah," Ron said in a deadpan tone.

"And sometimes we win. It's on like Donkey Kong. As long as the kitten doesn't have to be in at a certain hour," Monique taunted Kim.

"That is so wrong," the redhead laughed.

"Does she treat you like a cat with those ears?" Monique inquired.

"Pretty much just like a cat or a dog," Kim answered with a shrug.

"And you stay? You shouldn't let that woman disrespect you like that," Monique pointed out.

"It's not like that. I don't expect you to understand because you haven't seen how it is. Besides, you're both pretty much normal, except for the fact that you hang out with me and you're geniuses in your own fields. I don't expect you guys to understand that I'm fine with being her pet," Kim stated.

"Why? It's totally sick and wrong," Ron pointed out for the second time.

"I don't mind," Kim said.

"It's because you're attracted to her," Monique teased.

"Am not!" Kim retorted. Brilliant response, her mind said sarcastically. She might as well stick her tongue out while she was at it, she thought.

"You are so into her. Don't front, girl," Monique continued to taunt her friend.

"So not."

"So are."

* * *

Next time: Kim manages to anger Shego and to worry Shego and anger her again, in that order. Not quite curious? Well, what about if Kim finds out that she doesn't have her mistress all to herself?


	5. Problem Five: Dealing with a bad pet

Yeah, still don't own the characters or the premise of this tale.

Problem five: Dealing with a bad pet…

_Does it seem odd to be angry with a pet for a long period of time? Pets usually have no real concept of doing something wrong, _usually_ anyway. Is it a waste of aggravation to be upset with a pet?_

Shego moaned slightly in her sleep; she was having a rather pleasurable and satisfying dream. When she woke up, she found out that her dream was partially true with one key and very important detail, reality involved her pet. Her disobedient teen had crawled into bed with her yet again and was caught in the act of doing something against the rules aside for being in her bed. Her pet was touching her; no, not touching her. Her pet was fondling her, her right breast to be more specific.

"Princess!" Shego hollered in that "I'm going to kill you and they won't find the body" tone that Kim was so very familiar with.

The redhead woke up and shot out of bed like a bolt of lightning as she heard another familiar sound, the sound of her mistress' hands igniting. She charged out of the room, trying to get to her box for cover and she heard Shego snarl. She slid under the cardboard container while her owner chased her. Kim felt her usually safe box being picked up; she had no idea that Shego was so strong and she really did not like the way that she was learning about her mistress' strength. Then she felt the box being put down and it felt like it was sitting on a very thin space, not to mention about to fall over. Could she possibly be in the windowsill, she wondered.

"Now, tell me why I shouldn't throw you out of this fucking window?" Shego huffed. Okay, yeah, that was the window, Kim commented mentally.

"What did I do?" Kim whined.

"Don't act innocent!"

"I'm sorry I slept in your bed!" the redhead replied as if she was about to burst into tears.

"That's not it and you know it!"

"But, I didn't do anything else!"

Shego huffed and let go of the box. Kim felt herself falling, but she hit the ground about a second after the sensation began. She tumbled out of the box to see her mistress glaring down at her.

"I didn't do anything," Kim insisted.

"Don't ever fucking touch me again," Shego ordered in a dead serious tone.

Kim nodded to show that she understood the command and Shego stormed away. The redhead sat up and glanced down at her left hand. She laughed a bit before climbing to her feet. Her master was really angry, she silently noted, and stored that information in the back of her mind just in case she needed it.

Shego would describe herself as pissed-the-hell-off and that feeling did not subside once she was on her way to work, away from her disgusting, lucky-to-still-be-alive pet. That little bitch had molested her, she huffed silently. That little pest knew better than to touch her, yet she always broke the rules and now she had gone too far. Yeah, she had definitely gone way too far.

When Shego got to work, everyone knew to avoid her just from the look in her sharp emerald eyes. They knew better than to tempt fate and even walk in front of her; all hell might have broken loose if someone crossed her path. They were aware that if she got called out on an assignment, the criminal would have a high chance of dying with third degree burns all over his body and that was if she was merciful enough to not just reduce the perpetrator to ashes. Shego changed into her uniform and was about to go see if there was any bad guy ass that needed kicking, but she was halted by a familiar face grinning at her.

"Hello, Shego," Amy greeted the angry female in a chipper tone that just upset Shego even more so than she already was; happy people had that affect on Shego.

Amy, mostly known as DNAmy, was a former bio-terrorist. She used to make the strangest mutants; Shego remembered going after a couple of them and she just could not help wondering just what the point was. The mutants had not been particularly dangerous and the chubby woman did not seem to want to take over anything. DNAmy changed sides for the simple fact that her train had obviously jumped the track a long time ago, as far as Shego was concerned anyway.

In reality, DNAmy switched sides just because it seemed like the fun thing to do (to Shego that was same thing as chalking it up to lunacy). The woman was brilliant at what she did, but Shego had heard there was a fine line between genius and insanity. DNAmy had seriously crashed deep in the insanity plane of that line and when she crashed, she probably bounced, the green-skinned woman thought.

"Hey," Shego returned the greeting from the other woman. "What the hell are you doing here? Didn't you have that big science convention?" she asked as if she cared. There was a chance that talking might keep her from thinking about how she had been molested by that little punk she kept at home.

"Went," DNAmy giggled. "It's over. I'm back. Why do you look so down? Missing your sweetie-poo?" she asked Shego, who growled and wondered how in the world a grown woman could say such a thing and be serious about it.

"I don't miss anybody. It's my stupid pet," Shego answered without thinking. She blamed her slip of the tongue on the fact that she was so upset. She was going to pound that little bitch when she got home because her mood was all that pest's fault.

"Oh, you have a pet? What do you have? I picture you as a dog or reptile person," DNAmy commented while practically dancing around Shego because of the news.

The martial artist rolled her eyes; DNAmy just could not be any more wrong if she tried, Shego thought. To be honest, Shego really did not care much for animals. There was just too much drool, fur, scales, or just all around disgusting behavior to put up with. She did not see why people kept animals around, but as she thought about it, if it was the disgusting behavior that really bothered her, she would have thrown her brat out after the first week with the way the girl ate.

"I've got a…cat," Shego answered because that was what Kim was closest to in her opinion. Her pet slept most of the day and typically was eating or begging to be caressed if she was not sleeping. That seemed like very cat-like behavior to Shego.

"Oh, a cat! How precious, how precious. Is it adorable?" the overexcited woman asked while bouncing around the irked officer.

"Yeah, I guess," Shego answered with a shrug. She never thought to herself that her teen was adorable, but she recalled how the girl looked in her sleep and, well, Kim was a bit cute when she slept. That was not going to save the redhead from being boiled when Shego got home.

"A kitten or a full grown cat?" the scientist asked with a huge grin.

"Pretty much a kitten."

"Oh, a he or she?"

"A she," the raven-haired woman answered while wondering what she had done so wrong to where she was trapped in a conversation with a woman that she did not particularly like talking about a pet that she considered slaughtering the moment that she got home. She knew that it started out with her trying to forget the way brat that she was now discussing.

"Oh, a little girl kitten. Short or long fur? Does she just love cuddling up next to you?" DNAmy asked in an eager tone.

"Uh…yeah, now that you mention it."

"I bet she just loves you. So, she's the reason you look so down. What did the little cutesy kitten do?"

Shego growled again; what did her little freeloader do? She molested her in her sleep! She had fondled her breasts like it was nothing and then feigned innocence. The little brat! Oh, she was going to get it later, Shego silently vowed.

"She keeps crawling into my bed," Shego answered the question of what her pet had done.

"Oh, silly! She just wants to be near you. She wants your attention," DNAmy informed the officer.

"Whatever. She needs to keep her little paws to herself."

"You have to think about it. She's just a kitten and it's a big world to her. You're the most familiar and loving thing in her life. Being near you makes her feel safe and loved. You should savor it while you can. When she gets older, she'll try to be more independent and she might shut you out from time to time," DNAmy said.

Shego scoffed; she doubted that her pet would ever grow up. Her brat was probably lucky to have lived to eighteen. She bet that the little pest would stay lazy, whiny, and as incompetent as a new born kitten. She and DNAmy bid each other farewell, having killed more time than they had talking to each other.

DNAmy worked in their department crime lab most of the time. Like everybody else in their division, DNAmy did take side jobs. The whole place figured that they were too good to waste their talent just trying to keep their city safe; they needed to put some coin in their pockets too, they all figured. So, as long as it did not interfere with their police work, many of them did freelance work of some kind when they could.

Shego was back to being highly aggravated with her pet and she did not get much to distract her. She seethed over her pet's actions all day as she thought on the matter more and more. That little brat had been blatantly massaging her breasts. She just wanted to strangle the pest.

"Is that really why you're pissed or is it because you liked it?" Shego's evil mind asked her.

The raven-haired female growled in pure fury. Of course she did not like it! First of all, her pet was a girl that was seven years younger than she was. Second of all, her pet was her pet and nothing more than that. Maybe her ex-pet if she did not start behaving herself. Yeah, maybe she should just throw the little bitch out, Shego considered. It would certainly make her life easier; it would be much less stressful.

* * *

Shego went home and opened the door to the apartment. She braced herself for her daily mugging, also known as her daily hugging. Her usual embrace did not come. She looked around and noted the overwhelming silence of the condo. She checked the sofa and saw that her girl was not napping on it, which was strange. She scanned the place and the apartment was empty as far as she could tell. Her pet was not home.

"Did she wise up and leave? Good riddance. I was going to throw the little bitch out anyway," Shego informed the air.

The raven-haired female went and took a shower to wash away the grime of the day. She cleaned herself off and threw on her house clothes. She lounged on the couch and channel-surfed to find that there was nothing on, not even a fairly decent movie out of five hundred channels. What were the odds, she thought with a groan. She searched for other means to entertain herself.

Shego searched her bookshelf for something worth reading, but did not come across anything that she cared to go through. She sighed and turned to go look for something else to do, but stopped for a moment because she kicked a certain green handball. She glanced down at it and thought about playing fetch, but her pet was gone. She looked over at her pet's precious box.

"I wonder if I went too far dangling her out of the window," Shego mused and then she thought about what her pet had done.

Hell, no, she decided; she certainly had not gone too far. The redhead was lucky that she was still alive after fondling her. She was not going to stand for such depraved entertainment against her. She should have killed that little brat for her actions, but she had been merciful. Then she thought her pet being gone, possibly out on the street; yeah, her pet would be extremely lucky to be alive with the way she acted.

Shego believed that her pet was quite possibly the stupidest of all human beings in existence. She could not possibly survive a day on the street and a night on the street would be even worse. Some lunatic might have beaten and raped her moronic girl by the morning. Oh, that was just great, she sarcastically thought.

She told herself that she did not care about what happened to that disobedient teenager. Her pet was the idiot that left the house and whatever happened to her happened to her; it would all be on her. She figured that the imbecilic brat would get what was coming to her or if she had a teaspoon of brains and she ran into trouble, she would at the very least call the house. She was not so stupid as to stay away if she was in trouble, Shego told herself.

As a few hours went by, Shego found herself pacing the living room because it would seem that her pet was dumber than she assumed; the girl was not home yet and she had not called. She continuously told herself that she was not worried and she did not care about what happened to that stupid, trying girl. Sure, she had not eaten anything yet and she was wearing a path in her mint green carpet, but she was not worried. Then she heard the door open.

Shego turned around and went to the front of the apartment as the door swung open. Her pet entered and Shego could not believe it; the girl looked totally fine. Shego still reached out and yanked her teen to her despite the way the redhead appeared.

Kim let out a surprised yelp when she was pulled to her mistress. She was a bit stunned when she realized that the older woman was embracing her. She decided to just savor the delightful moment and voluntary warmth pressed against her. She wrapped her arms around Shego's waist and then rested her head underneath the taller woman's chin, nuzzling Shego's neck with her face. Shego sighed in relief.

"Where the hell have you been?" Shego barked as she released her pet. She glared sternly at the teen as she went on to scold the girl. "You didn't leave a note or call! You could've been out there dead for all I knew!" the raven-haired woman hollered.

"Sorry," Kim whimpered.

"Sorry? Sorry doesn't cut it! Just for that, no desserts tonight," Shego decided.

"What? Why?" the girl asked as if she was being denied something extremely important.

"Punishment for being a naughty pet. Now, go get cleaned up," Shego ordered.

Kim pouted, but she did as she was commanded to do. Later that night, Kim climbed down from her loft space and tiptoed into Shego's bedroom. She crawled into the bed and moved closer to the older female. She positioned herself against Shego and rested her head underneath her mistress' chin. She nuzzled Shego's neck and placed her left hand on the raven-haired woman's right breast. She heard Shego sighed and noted the small, content smile that worked its way onto her owner's face.

--(New day)

Shego entered the police station with an angry stride. She was soaking wet and picking wood chips out of her long, ebony mane. She was going to give her boss a piece of her mind with as many vulgar words as possible to get her idea across and possibly end their quarter century long friendship, followed by breaking something on Doctor Director. Maybe snap her shoulder or her lower leg bone, Shego considered; anything that would really hurt and make her life difficult for a few weeks. Yeah, that seemed like a really good idea and then a sky blue blur that she saw out of the corner of her eye took her mind off of everything.

"Drakken?" Shego wondered as she turned, but the blue blur had gotten into the elevator.

The upset agent shook her head and decided to go about her business because there was no way that that was Drakken. He was God only knew where, working on only-a-select-few-knew-what. So, she dismissed the scientist from her mind and she went back to thinking about what she was going to do to her good friend. She barged into her chief's office to discover the woman buried behind stacks of paperwork.

"What the hell was the big idea sending me after a fucking guy that turns into water," Shego demanded to know with a huff.

"I thought the elemental adversary would be amusing," Doctor Director remarked, not even bothering to recognize the younger female's anger.

"Oh, really? I'm glad you're fucking amused. The funny thing is I'm starting to think it would be amusing to burn your office to the ground and you've got a lot of fuel in here for it," the raven-haired woman declared.

"For once, I don't doubt you considering your worthwhile job is back in town."

"What?"

"Oh, you didn't seem him then?" Doctor Director asked.

"So, that was Drakken. Good to know," Shego commented in a neutral tone.

"I suppose he was planning on surprising you again."

"Idiot," the younger woman sighed and shook her head.

"Yes, but he's your idiot and that's what counts, or that's what you lead me to believe anyway. Since you're in here, you can go handle another assignment."

"The hell I can. If it involves more trees or water, I'm killing you when I come back," Shego declared.

"No, it's just some rogue robots."

"Sounds simple," Shego said in suspicious tone.

"They've got AI and they're top secret weapons. You can't destroy them as they are government property. Would you like back up?"

"Screw that. You know I don't play well with others. Besides, the day a tin man kicks my ass is the day I hand in my fucking resignation," Shego declared with a smirk.

Doctor Director laughed a bit as her employee stormed away. The brown-haired woman stared down at all of the complaints that littered her desk. She ran an insane branch of law enforcement, she would easily admit that, but their craziness did not make up for the destruction that followed a lot of her agents. She supposed the problem with having people who could quite possibly have been villains if given the chance was that they had a loose sense of morality, hospitality, responsibility, or any combination of the three. Her employees had the bad habit of apathy toward everything, except the specific instructions given to them, especially the employee that had just left her office.

* * *

Shego marched back into the station; her shift was thankfully over. She went to the showers because thanks to those robots, she was covered in all kinds of things that she did not even know what they were. She just wanted all foreign bodies off of her immediately if not sooner. She cleaned herself off and changed into her street clothes, ready to go home and lounge.

The officer figured she would go home and wake up her lazy pet. Knowing that girl, Shego thought, she probably spent the whole day on the sofa sleeping. So, she would wake her pet up and they would watch a bit of television. She would caress the teen's soft red-orange hair and listen to her purr from the attention. Then she would make dinner, maybe even some pasta; yeah, that would make her pet happy. And then maybe, she would trim her pet's nails if the girl was good. Yes, that sounded like a good plan, she decided.

"Headed home?" a familiar voice inquired as Shego left the locker room.

Shego turned around because she knew that voice very well. He was standing behind her; his skin was the color of the sky because of a mishap in his lab with chemicals years before and his small scar underneath his right eye, another accident while working on a project. He was not wearing his usual dark blue jumpsuit, which indicated that he was between jobs for the moment.

"Hey, Drakken," Shego greeted him in her usual fed up tone.

"Still the same Shego," he commented because of her attitude toward him and he had not done anything yet.

"Yeah, whatever. So, what's up? Looking to renew my contract?" Shego inquired with half a smile.

"I'll have to consider it if I get a real job around here."

"Really? What are you doing here? You didn't stop by to surprise me, did you?" she demanded to know.

Drakken shook his head. "Of course not. I know how much you hate that…now," he muttered the end of his sentence and absently rubbed his right wrist with his left hand. Both of his wrists were sporting very light marks around them; reminders to never surprise the green-skinned female again.

"So, what're you doing here?" she asked in a puzzled tone.

"They just hired me," he answered with a proud smile.

"Hired you? For what?"

"To improve the weapons for some of the more defenseless officers around here and take apart anything that's confiscated to see how it works," he explained with a rather proud smile.

"So, we'll be working together?" she asked to make sure that she understood the information that her brain was receiving and refusing to believe.

"Isn't that great?" he inquired with a grin.

"Peachy," she grumbled.

"So, I was wondering if you'd like to go out and celebrate. No place fancy. I mean, we're not dressed for that," he pointed out, still smiling.

"Sure, why not," she replied with a shrug.

* * *

Kim was sitting in her loft space, reading a book. She quickly put the book away and leaped down from her area as the door swung open. She attached herself to her mistress as Shego closed the door. Shego made a very annoyed noise while Kim had a very content smile on her face.

"Get the hell off of me! You never listen!" Shego barked as she pried her insane pet from her body. She practically flung Kim away from her. The redhead actually looked a bit wounded by her owner's actions.

"Sorry…I just missed you is all," Kim replied in a mumble.

"I wasn't gone that long."

"Well, I wanted to lay my head in your lap, but you weren't here. I wanted to be petted, but you weren't here. I wanted something to eat, but I can't touch the stove or any of the knives."

"Oh, so you didn't miss me, you missed the food. You little freeloader," Shego snapped.

Kim was not sure how to counter that and Shego walked away before something came to mind. Kim sighed and climbed back up to her area. She grabbed her book and went back to reading.

"Princess," Shego called about a half hour later.

The redhead put her book down and hopped down from the loft again. She looked around for her mistress and found her at the table. In front of Shego was a sandwich with some fries on the side. Kim looked down at the food.

"So, are you going to eat it or stare at it?" Shego demanded to know.

"Oh. You're not going to eat?" Kim asked.

"I ate already."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I had dinner with someone," Shego informed her pet.

"Miss Betty?" Kim guessed.

"No, my boyfriend."

Kim almost gasped, but she caught herself just in time. Her mouth did fall open in surprise. Since when did her mistress have a boyfriend?

* * *

Next time: Kim meets her mistress' boyfriend and he notices that she seems familiar to him. He wants to know who she is. How does a person explain to a stranger that she was his girlfriend's pet?


	6. Problem Six: Letting the truth out

Still not owning these characters.

Problem six: Letting the truth out…

_Pets are usually used to their owners, but they tend to understand that when other people come over the house they should behave themselves somewhat. They try to feel out the new person to understand their place in the grand scheme of things, if the person should be treated like the owner or treated as threat._

Kim lay on the dining room floor, staring into the kitchen. The redhead was watching the hips, legs, and thighs of a certain woman move about the kitchen, but it was not the woman that she usually watched. The person that she was used to eyeing had a shapelier figure, curvier hips, a fuller backside, and more attractive legs. The person that she typically watched would not be caught dead wearing any shade of blue either. She wanted the person that she normally stared at to come back because she was not enjoying her current view. It was not that there was anything wrong with that woman, but she just was not the person Kim desired.

"And here's dinner," Betty Director announced while placing a plate down on the table. The girl trotted to the table and had a seat in front of the meal.

Kim looked down at the food, but she did not start eating. Doctor Director frowned when she saw that a pet who she heard had a ravenous appetite was not eating her cooking. She could cook just as well, if not better than Shego could and she was rather certain that; hell, it was something that even Shego might admit to. She would not take such disrespect from a spoiled teen that was a mere pet.

"Why aren't you eating?" Betty demanded to know.

"The food's touching," Kim pointed out with a pout.

"So?"

"When Shego cooks, the food never touches."

"So what? It's all going to same place anyway and it's not like it's all mashed together. Eat it," the older woman commanded. She did not need such crap, she silently huffed.

Kim's expression dropped even more. "The mashed potatoes have skin in them," she complained almost as if she was ready to burst into tears because the food did not to meet her apparently high standards.

"So?" the one-eyed female pressed. How could such a shiftless, lazy former hobo have standards, the woman asked herself. It was unbelievable and it was very annoying. She would not mind slapping the little pest in the back of the head if she was going to continue whining about the meal; a meal that she was lucky to have.

"When Shego makes mashed potatoes, she skins them before making them," the redhead explained.

"So what?" Betty huffed in aggravation; she was rapidly learning to detest the kid. Could the brat just shut up, be thankful, and eat? She was just doing Shego a favor, after all, and making sure that the little pest did not go hungry for the night. It was not like she wanted to be with the brat; she had better things to do with her time than babysitting some tiny idiot that could not be trusted on her own for more than half a day. She could not believe it, but Shego had obviously spoiled the skinny punk, even if she did not know it or want to admit it. The notion was almost beyond her that Shego could spoil a person.

Kim was about to respond to the question, but she closed her mouth. She put her finger up to silence Doctor Director, who was about to speak. The brown-haired woman took deep offense to being silenced by a lowly pet and it showed on her face. The teen turned her attention away from the older woman and toward the front of the apartment, which also insulted Betty; she was being disrespected by a pet. As soon as she was about to let the brat have it verbally, and maybe physically too, Kim dashed off to the front of the apartment.

"Shego!" the redhead cheered with a huge, joyful grin on her face and attached herself to her mistress' waist as soon as Shego was through the door.

"What have I told you about this?" Shego snarled angrily. Betty strolled to the front to see what was going on.

"I thought you were going to go to Drakken's place tonight," the one-eyed woman commented while wondering how Kim even knew Shego was at the door a moment ago. Did the kid have irritable woman radar?

"I was, but he completely freaked out before we even got to his street," the pale woman replied in a dismissive tone. She did not really want to talk about, but she knew that her friend was going to want to know some information.

"Doesn't he freak out about everything?" the brown-haired woman pointed out.

"That he does. So, my little Pumpkin behaving herself?" Shego asked while rubbing the top of Kim's head.

"She's acting like a spoiled brat. She wouldn't eat the food because it was touching," Betty reported in an annoyed voice.

"Oh, yeah, she's not used to that. Pumpkin, apologize for being a pain in the ass. Betty was trying to help and you're giving her a hard time," Shego commanded. Kim turned her attention to her master's friend.

"I'm sorry, Miss Betty," Kim said in a pathetic tone, as if she was hurt the most by her actions. The pitiful look probably would have gained her anyone else's forgiveness, but not from her master's friend.

"Now, go eat," Shego ordered Kim.

The redhead released her mistress and went back to the table without any sort of protest. Betty glanced at her friend and then at the pet, who was now quietly eating with no problem at all. Shego noticed the looks and wondered what was going through her friend's mind; she doubted that she really wanted to know.

"What?" Shego asked because if she did not, then Betty would just look at her and get on her nerves.

"Nothing," the one-eyed woman answered.

"It's not nothing. What?"

"She hugged you."

"Yeah, so? She does it all the time. It's damn annoying," Shego huffed.

"Your own mother doesn't hug you. No one hugs you," Betty pointed out.

"So?"

"So, like I said, it's nothing," the brown-haired female replied nonchalantly and she went to sit on the sofa.

Shego did not think anything of what her friend said about the hugging thing; she was rather used to it and did not consider it a big deal. She went and joined Betty on the couch. She sighed and leaned back while Betty glanced at her from the corner of her eye.

"He freaked out again, huh?" Betty said, trying her best to hide the fact that she wanted to laugh. She was not doing as good a job of hiding that she was amused as they both knew she could.

"Of course," the younger woman answered.

"He seems like the type to freak," Betty commented in a slightly amused tone.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Shego demanded to know.

"Nothing, except that he's a bit flipped," the one-eyed woman replied in a trivializing voice. She was not looking to get into an argument over something rather stupid in her opinion.

"Everyone in this damn city is a little flipped. They don't let you in if you're not a tad off," Shego remarked.

"Yeah, but he's flipped and wired. It's not a good combination. I bet he's got mother issues too."

"What're you, his therapist now?"

"Not at all. I'm sure that's a high paying job, though. I just think that if he laid you, you wouldn't be so up tight about everything. Hell, it might even help straighten him out a little," Betty quipped with a taunting smile on her face.

"Hey! Watch what you say with the pet around," Shego commanded. Her friend thought that was an odd thing for her to say, but she did not even think on it after the words left her mouth.

"Why, what does she care if you're not getting laid? It's not like she can brag about social life. Have you considered just bringing him and throwing yourself at him?" Betty proposed.

"That's probably the only way I can get him to do it," Shego sighed.

"Probably. Well, good luck to you," the elder female said, slightly teasing and being sincere because she thought that her friend could do for some physical pleasure. Shego shook her head; she was going to need more than luck to work with and they both knew that.

--(New day)

Kim eyed the usual lovely hips that glided around the kitchen with familiarity and ease. She doubted that her mistress was even aware that she was there because if she knew that the redhead was lying there, then she would have yelled at her a long time ago. She wondered if Shego even had an idea of what she looked at when she laid on the floor most of the time; she doubted it because, once again, she would have been yelled at if Shego was aware.

The teen climbed to her feet as she noticed her mistress pouring the cake batter that she had been making into two pans. She went to dip her finger in the batter bowl while Shego put the cake in the oven. Kim carried the bowl away with a smile on her face as she devoured the remains of the chocolate batter in the dish.

"May I have some cake too?" the petite pet requested with the brightest smile that she could muster. She held onto the belief that as long as she was cute, she could get her way most of the time when it came to her mistress anyway.

"If there's any left when you get back tonight," Shego replied.

"When I get back? Where am I going?" the teenager inquired because, as far as she knew, she had plans to stay in. She was going to stay in and bother her master, in fact.

"Away. I told you my boyfriend's coming over."

"Oh, yeah. So, you're making him a cake? But, whenever I ask you for a cake, you always say I eat too many sweets," the redhead whined with a glob of chocolate on the side of her mouth.

"You do," the green-skinned officer said while grabbing a napkin and wiping her sloppy pet's face clean of the chocolate mix.

"So, when can I come back?" Kim asked.

"I guess around ten."

"But, I don't have anything to do," Kim pouted. She could find things to do if necessary; Wade undoubtedly had a list of minor things for her to do if nothing major came up. She would really rather just stay in, though and hang out with Shego.

"That's not my problem, Princess. You're eighteen for crying out loud. Go do something with your life. Find a guy, go on a date, or whatever it is you kids do nowadays," Shego replied in an irked tone.

"But, I just want to stay with you."

"So I noticed. You're way too clingy. Go make some friends or something. Just get out," Shego commanded rather curtly.

Kim did not look affected by the blunt order, but she continued to pout; it was not getting her any sympathy as usual. She also continued to eat the batter, which was delightful; she could not wait to get a piece of the cake that was being made from the delicious cocoa mix. She moved around the apartment rather slowly while she was supposed to be getting ready to leave. Shego was too focused on preparing the chocolate cake to pay her pet any real mind. Kim went and put on some street clothes and then went back to the dining room to retrieve her shoulder bag. Then there was a knock at the door that made Shego swear under her breath because she knew who it was.

"Don't get it," the pale woman ordered when she noticed her teenager about to move toward the front of the apartment.

"Then you want me to leave out the window?" Kim remarked.

"Don't tempt me," Shego warned the girl, who pouted because of the remark.

The raven-haired woman marched to the door and opened it. Drakken was on the other side and he was holding a bouquet of flowers. Shego forced a smile onto her face and ushered him into the apartment. She closed the door behind him and saw that he was looking around like he was searching for something.

"Something wrong?" Shego inquired.

"No, it's nothing. I was just…" Drakken trailed off when he noticed Kim coming from the dining room. He looked at Shego. "Who's that?" he inquired while pointing at the teenager.

"Who's…?" Shego froze when she turned to see her pet standing a couple of feet away from them. She frowned in the girl's direction.

"I'm Shego's cousin," Kim lied smoothly as she approached the couple. "Kim Possible," she introduced herself with a friendly smile while holding her hand out for him to shake, which he did. He did hesitate in touching her, though, but that did not bother her.

"Shego never mentioned a cousin," he commented.

"Oh, I just popped up. And you are?" Kim inquired, even though she knew who the man was.

"Oh, I'm Doctor D. Drakken Lipsky. Your name sounds familiar to me," he replied and he started trying to recall where he might have heard the name before.

"It's a fairly common last name, like Smith," Kim assured him while continuing to smile up a storm. She knew that he would not remember why her name sounded familiar and she knew that he would believe her last name was common.

"Yeah, I figured as much. You look familiar too," he said while eyeing her. She did not seem fazed by the attention.

"I get that all the time. I guess I just have one of those faces. Well, I have to get going. You two have nice day. It was nice to meet you. Bye," Kim bid them farewell and left the two alone.

The teen shook her head once she was outside. She started walking down the street and laughed a bit because it certainly was a small world after all. Doctor Drew Drakken Lipsky was just as bizarre as she recalled him being. He was probably the most bewildered inventor in the world. He was horrible with names, faces, people in general, and he failed to grasp some of the simplest scientific notions a good deal of the time. And he was the man that her mistress was dating; she failed to see the reasoning behind that.

Kim decided to not even think about it. She wondered what she should do now that she was outside. She guessed that something would come to her if she gave it some time and she walked around enough.

* * *

Shego breathed a sigh of relief as Kim exited the house. She did wonder why her pet seemed familiar to her boyfriend, but she dismissed it. She knew how he was with people; maybe Kim did have one of those faces. And then, she suddenly realized that she just heard her pet's real name for the first time. Her pet was called Kim Possible and now the name seemed familiar to her. That was weird, she thought.

"Shego, you never mentioned having a cousin," Drakken commented.

"Yeah, well, you never asked. Besides, she's a fucking brat," Shego replied in a dismissive tone to drop the whole matter.

"Oh. Here, I brought these for you," Drakken informed her while presenting her with the flowers that he was holding.

"Thanks," Shego said, not that she sounded very thankful.

Honestly, she hated flowers and most people either knew that or would guess it. Flowers seemed so pointless to her; all they did was die after a few days of just sitting there, doing nothing except for taking up precious space. If any other gift died as quickly as flowers did, no one would want it; a person would be pissed to get such a gift.

It was also depressing to have to look at dead flowers, even if only for a little while before she got around to throwing them away. Who would want a present that was just going to die a few days later? Imagine if a dog died that fast; no one would ever buy a dog then. She never understood why people got flowers because of how quickly they died and she wondered who the first jerk was that decided to present flowers as a gift; she bet he was just being cheap. Somebody should have done the decent thing and just killed him back then to stop the tradition before it got out of hand, she figured.

Shego walked off to go put the flowers in the only vase that she owned, even though she would not mind just setting them ablaze to get the inevitable over and done with. Once the flowers were safe in water without any burn marks, Shego and Drakken sat down with the cake and did a little catching up.

Drakken eventually got to rambling about a powerful laser that he had worked on before returning to Go City. She listened passively as he boasted of his genius. Her mind wondered to her pet; that stupid girl better be all right. She obviously had very little faith in her pet being out on her own.

* * *

Kim hardly made it anywhere before her Kimmunicator went off; she was a few blocks away from the apartment. Well, at least she probably would not have to think of some way to kill time. She retrieved the cerulean device from her pocket.

"What's the stich, Wade?" the redhead asked.

"Hey, I heard you're some psycho's pet," Wade reported with a laugh.

"She's not psycho."

"But, you're her pet?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Why?" he inquired in a puzzled tone; he had not expected her to confirm the rumor. It was not that he did not believe Ron when the blonde told him about Kim's new life, but it was just so hard to believe. What was Kim Possible doing as someone's pet?

"It's not really something we have time to get into unless that's the reason you called. If you're got a mission for me, stich me," she replied in a lighthearted tone to show him that it was not something that she did not want about; she just did not have the time to discuss if he had an emergency for her.

"You up to looking for a missing high tech tank across the big pond?" he asked.

"I do love London."

"Good because there's going to be a jet above you in about five seconds to take you there. The Queen does appreciate this. She was also wondering if you came to a decision yet," the computer genius said.

"Wade!" Kim huffed; now, he had brought up a subject that she did not want to talk about.

"Hey, she asked, not me," he defended himself with a smile.

The redhead rolled her olive-green eyes and then looked up to see that there was a jet above her. A line was lowered down to her and she put away her Kimmunicator. She got a good grip on the cable and was on her way to Britain while the line was pulled up to the aircraft.

* * *

Kim came back into the apartment at about a half past ten. The lights were all out and the house was dead. Kim showered and got into her pajamas. She was about go to bed, but she decided against going to her space. She walked to her mistress' bedroom and peered inside. There only seemed to be one body in the bed and outline looked extremely familiar. She crawled into bed next to her owner and cuddled up next to the older woman.

Shego stirred when she felt someone in her bed. She knew who it was and, for the first time, she did not holler at her little pet for breaking the rules. She merely watched as Kim snuggled up to her, putting her head underneath Shego's chin. She then felt the redhead's arm drape around her waist, but she still did not scream at the girl.

"She's just about the only person willing to get into bed with me just to be next to me," Shego thought while the eighteen-year-old settled against her.

The raven-haired woman sighed and made sure that the girl was properly covered with the dark green blanket that was on the bed. She continued to stare at her pet and thought about that name, Kim Possible. It sounded so familiar, but she could not recall where she might have stumbled across it.

--(Next day)

"Kim Possible, huh?" Doctor Director repeated the name that Shego just told her while dropping into the chair behind her desk. She pulled up to her computer while Shego made herself comfortable parking her butt on the desk.

"Yeah, doesn't it sound like you've heard it somewhere before?" the younger woman asked.

"Yes, it does. We'll get to the bottom of this. How'd things go with Drakken?" Doctor Director asked, even though she could guess the answer to that question. It was just fun to irk her friend sometimes, especially about her emotionally imbalanced boyfriend.

Betty did not wonder why her friend was with Drakken. She could guess the reasons behind it since she knew much of Shego's social history and "dating" habits. Shego did not typically date, even when Drakken first showed up. They were probably only really dating now because he lived in the same city as she was and he was around all the time. Her friend was not one that usually committed to anyone because she did not like being around people generally. Drakken was not really the exception as far as Betty could tell.

Shego growled in frustration. "The silly bastard freaked out again. I was sitting on his lap, taking off my shirt, and he just claimed that an invention idea came to mind. He practically flew out of the fucking house. You'd have thought I set his ass on fire. What the hell am I supposed to do with this guy?"

"I'd make a suggestion, but you wouldn't follow it. You're going to just keep trying and you know that. You like the guy, no matter how hard you try to deny it," Betty replied. She did not know why her friend liked the guy, but she had like him if she continued to put up with the fact that he did not seem to want to have sex with her.

"Shut up."

"Hey, I just tell it like it is, just like you. If you don't like the truth, don't ask me any questions."

"It's not like your opinion matters to me any damn way," Shego retorted.

"Yes, I'm sure you don't give a damn about what I think," Betty commented dryly.

"Whatever. How's the search on my little Pumpkin going?"

"Well, she doesn't appear to be on any of the 'wanted' lists," the chief informed Shego.

"You're looking on 'wanted' lists? Let's think about this for a second, what kind of crime could Princess possibly pull off? Whine somebody to death?" the officer remarked while rolling her emerald eyes.

"Point taken. She does seem pretty harmless. Maybe she was on a 'missing child' list we saw a couple of years back or something. She is only eighteen, right?"

"Yeah, that's what she says anyway," Shego answered.

"So, maybe she was a milk carton kid or something. Let's see…" Doctor Director muttered and then she searched for a few minutes before finding something strange, yet intriguing. "There's a Kim Possible website," she reported.

"Really? I doubt that's got anything to do with Princess, but might as well check it out," Shego suggested.

* * *

Next time: it appears that Kim is about to be found out. What will happen now that it's known she's Kim Possible? Will she still be Shego's pet? Why is Shego packing her things?


	7. Problem Seven: Recognizing a bad move

Still not owning the characters or the premise of the story. Mad love to the people that did come up with the characters, though. And extra props to the woman that created Tramps like Us, which this story is based.

Problem seven: Recognizing a bad move…

_Is a mistake really a mistake if you're aware that you're making it? Why is it that knowing something is not going to workout does not help ease the disappointment?_

"Did I tell you that I saw that Doctor Drakken guy recently?" Kim asked Ron as he pigged out on nachos at Bueno Nacho.

She guessed that no matter how old they got, some things would just never change, especially from the way Ron was still gobbling down the food. It was a bit harder for her to eat the food after they worked there for a couple of weeks back when they were younger; she actually knew what some of the food was made of. Now when she ate there, she was very picky about what she was going to have.

"No. Where'd you see that guy?" Ron inquired with his mouth full of nachos and cheese. He still did not discriminate on the food at Bueno Nacho, even though he knew what was in most of it; hey, it still was tasty snackage to him and his naked rodent friend. Rufus was right next to him and also devouring nacho after nacho, making sure each chip was thoroughly covered in cheese before munching it down.

"He's Shego's boyfriend," she informed her best friend.

Ron almost choked, but he was saved by having a soda nearby. "She's got a boyfriend?" he asked in an amazed tone. Kim needed to wait for him to swallow everything in his mouth before dropping bombs like that on him, he thought. She nearly killed him right there after all.

"Yeah."

"Wait, rewind, Drakken is her boyfriend? As in dating her?" he inquired for clarification.

There might always be some other meaning to the term "boyfriend" when it came to a girl that was living as a pet. After all, he had met that Drakken guy and he did not see where any woman would give him a shot at being a real boyfriend; he could not imagine that the guy even know how to be a real boyfriend. He especially could not picture the scientist as the real boyfriend of a woman that was keeping his best friend as a pet.

"Yeah," the hero confirmed to let Ron know that "boyfriend" was still a universal term for the guy that a girl was dating.

"Why? He's got serious head issues. He was just all over the place when we met him and that was only for like ten seconds or something. Did he remember you?" the blonde boy asked.

"No, he just said my name and face seemed familiar, which is more than I expected of him. He's really bad with people," Kim replied while waving her hand to show that it did not matter much to her.

"I guess so. When was the last time that we saw him? You couldn't look too different, right? I mean, it's not like you change your appearance," he commented. He actually thought that it was rather boring to always look the same, but he guessed that Kim had enough excitement in her life, so she did not really need to make any superficial changes.

"It was like three years ago at that big meeting of the minds science convention."

"Oh, yeah. Boy, was that beyond majorly disturbing. It went way beyond sick and wrong," he quipped. He doubted that he would ever see a more unsettling sight than hundreds of scientists in one concentrated area having nothing but time on their hands and each other to talk to.

"I don't know…" Kim hesitantly disagreed with her best friend. She knew that no normal teenager would argue that science was cool.

"Well, of course you liked it. You're a Possible, K.P. It would have been sick and wrong for you not to like it. I mean, I know you're weird even for a Possible, but you do have the whole Possible brain thing going on. The convention people knew that and that's why they invited you," Ron stated.

"Ron, they invited my whole family," she pointed out and by whole family, she seriously meant her whole family. She had met cousins there that she never knew she had.

"That's because you're all Possibles. That place was like a Possible family reunion, making it all the more freakish. They really should put an age limit on that guest list," the boy remarked.

"Doesn't matter, each invitation allows you to bring along three guests," she reminded him. "You invite one Possible, you really invited four anyway."

"Hey, I just think that it is totally sick and wrong for a four-year-old to seriously talk about making a mini-helicopter from spare parts found around the house and a broken down car. That's not just pimping your ride, that's bizarre. He shouldn't be allowed to rub it in that he had a formal invite too while I was just a tag along. Hey, wait a second, Drakken's Shego's boyfriend, so do you hate him now?" Ron asked and it seemed random with the way that he had been going. There was too much going on for him to stay focused now that she brought up that creepy science convention.

"I never liked him much in the first place. Why would I hate him, though?" she inquired curiously.

"Because you like Shego, duh," he pointed out. He could not believe that she was going to try to play it off like she was not attracted to that woman. He had known her almost her whole life, so he knew her extremely well and he knew that she was attracted to Shego no matter how hard she tried to deny it.

"I like being around her," Kim corrected her friend.

"Come on, K.P, be serious," he pushed her. She was living with the woman as a pet, so things had to go further than her just liking to be around Shego. If she just liked to be around the pale woman, she would become the woman's friend and call it a day.

"What? Yes, she's gorgeous, a kick ass fighter, and she likes having me around with no strings attached, but she's not into me. I'm just her pet and I like it that way," Kim declared quite proudly and it would have been unsettling weeks ago, but now it was like talking about anything else to her friends.

"You'd like it more if she's let you sleep in her bed without getting yelled at and kicked out of the room," he teased.

"Well, who wouldn't like that more? Why does it seem like every time we get together we're talking about me?"

"Um, hello, you're somebody's pet. That's gotta be worth a few hundred hours of talk time where you're the main subject. I mean, what do I got to talk about? I got parties, classes, and Yori, that's it. But you, you're somebody's pet. Come on," Ron argued.

"Point taken. But, it's so not the drama," Kim stated and then they heard that familiar beeping. She looked at Ron and smiled. "Say, you up for a mission?" she asked while going in her pocket.

"Just like the good old days, boo-yah," Ron declared. Rufus echoed the proclamation, giving his approval.

* * *

Doctor Director navigated the website of Kim Possible after reading the home page that cautioned everyone that the site was under some construction, which the site always was, but it was still running. She and Shego finally understood why the name had been recognizable; it was the name of a semi-famous teen hero. The site offered a list of missions that had been carried out by the wonder teen and brief summaries on each mission to help people understand what she was capable of. It informed users that they could get Kim's assistance through the website. The reason that the ladies had not recognized the name sooner, they realized, was because the teen hero was not really needed in Go City; she had no missions to account for in the area.

Go City was able to take care of itself for the most part when it came to criminals. For almost every type of criminal, there was a division of law enforcement to take care of it. For the city's special brand of criminal sociopaths, they had their own sociopaths on the side of justice, as odd as that sounded. So, they were rather self-sufficient when it came to handling any dangers to their area.

"This can't be Princess," Shego decided while looking at the mission list.

"Why not?" Betty inquired.

"Simple, I know that Kim Possible is a martial artist. We know she can get out of almost anything. Hell, look at her motto 'I can do anything.' She has an assortment of gadgets to help her out—" Shego was about to keep going.

"Your point?" the one-eyed female interjected to avoid having to listen to her friend ramble and possibly forget her point.

"I found Pumpkin beat up in a damn box. She was dazed and confused. She was taken down by three guys that she said she was trying to run from. She didn't have anything on her, except for a wallet, which had been completely empty. She didn't even have a driver's license. She's pretty much the opposite of this Kim Possible," the green-skinned female explained.

"Maybe she's not as quick to fight as you are," Betty countered.

"Doesn't explain why she didn't have anything on her."

"That's true," the boss conceded.

"Besides, just look at some of these missions. Stopped a plane from crashing after the pilot and co-pilot were knocked unconscious, captured a giant anaconda in a village by herself, saved a city from mutant bugs, fought with modern day pirates…" Shego halted herself and then just pointed to the screen because the mission list went on and on.

"So?"

"Now, you're just playing around. Princess gets scared when we watch b-horror movies in the dark. She closes her eyes and goes 'tell me when the scary parts over.' I'm shocked she doesn't believe in the closet monster or the boogeyman. They can't be the same person because my pet just doesn't have the guts to do any of this," the raven-haired woman pointed out.

"Fine, you're right on that matter. Oh, here's some personal information on the girl wonder. She is eighteen like your pet," Betty commented.

"That's about the only thing they have in common so far."

"Yeah, it appears that the girl wonder graduated high school at fifteen and has a degree in both biology and mathematics from a top school. That's rather impressive. Now, I'm inclined to agree with you. That spoiled brat you live with is not this impressive. She's nowhere near this impressive, unless being useless is an accomplishment. It's weird that there would be two Kim Possibles in the world, though."

"There's no pictures on the site? Not that I think she and Princess are the same person since they're total opposites," Shego said.

She thought that they wasted their time with the site now that she saw who the Kim Possible was that the site was in reference too. Her pet and the teen hero just could not be the same person; there was just no way. Her pet did not even show signs of intelligence enough for her to believe the girl was fully human sometimes, so she was certain that her pet could not be some teen genius/hero.

"No, no pictures. Maybe your pet just offered up a fake name," Doctor Director proposed.

"It's possible," Shego conceded.

* * *

Kim trudged into the apartment feeling completely worked for the first time in a long time. That mission was crazy, her mind shouted. She wondered if Ron would ever come with her on a mission again after that one. It was not that it had been more dangerous than anything else they ever did, but it had been really weird. He had finished the mission covered in all kinds of liquids and she had finished the mission bleeding.

She had a gash on her forearm, which was totally her fault as far as she was concerned and one of the reasons that the mission was peculiar. She should have reacted faster when that guy came at her swinging that pipe, she berated herself; her reaction time seemed to be thrown off that whole mission because the henchmen just were not moving the way she assumed that they would. She cleaned the wound before it got infected or worse, she bled on the carpet. Shego would probably nuke the whole place if she discovered blood on her carpet, Kim thought.

So, the redhead cleaned her wound and bandaged the cut. She then went to catch a nap on the sofa; she figured sleeping would help the stinging in her arm cease and, hopefully, it would help erase that mission from her mind. She still could not believe that she had not seen that dummy with a pipe coming, she thought as she drifted off to sleep.

Shego came in and was surprised to not be mauled at the door. She considered that her lazy pet might have actually gone outside like a normal teenager. She went into the living room and shook her head when she saw the girl sprawled out on the couch in a dead sleep, like she always was when Shego escaped an embrace as a greeting. She was going to ignore the redhead and go about her business when she noticed something about Kim's arm. Upon closer inspection, her pet had bandages on most of her forearm. She decided that she would find out the reason for it later; she would be kind and just let the girl sleep for now.

Kim groaned in a dazed tone as she woke up. She smelled food cooking; it could not be dinner time yet, she quietly told herself. She had only just fallen asleep, she was certain of that. She glanced over at the clock on the wall; okay, she had just fallen asleep three hours ago. She sat up and yawned.

"It's about time you woke your lazy ass up," Shego commented, standing by the corner wall that led to the dining room. She was coming to wake the inactive teen up for dinner; she also did not think that it was right for someone so young to sleep so much.

"I didn't mean to sleep for so long," Kim replied with a sheepish laugh.

"What happened to your arm?" the apartment owner inquired.

"Huh?" the teen said.

"Your arm is bandaged. What happened?"

Kim looked down at her arm and laughed, as if her injury was humorous. "I was just being careless and got scratched," she informed the older woman.

"You used all of that wrap for a scratch?" the emerald-eyed female inquired.

"Yeah," Kim answered with a light laugh. Well, it was a scratch in her opinion and she had gotten it for being careless as far as she was concerned.

"You're so damn hopeless," Shego commented with a sigh and the girl only smiled again.

Yeah, her pet was just way too incompetent to have been some legendary teen wonder girl, Shego figured. Her pet could barely operate the toaster, so there was just no way that she could be the Kim Possible from that website. The pale woman felt stupid for even considering such a thing for even a brief moment.

--(New Day)

Kim sighed; she had the apartment all to herself. Her mistress was out and planned to be out all night because she had counted on spending the night with her boyfriend, provided that he did not freak out for the hundredth time. She had thrown an ultra-tantrum before Shego left, letting her mistress know that she would be so much better company than Drakken and because of that, she reasoned that Shego should stay home with her. She had fallen to the floor and even held onto her owner's ankles while the woman was going to the door to leave. Obviously the tactic failed and now she was all alone.

The redhead flipped through the television channels without really paying attention to what was on in any of the programs; watching TV was not so interesting without having Shego there for her to lay her head in the officer's lap. She wondered why Drakken kept freaking out about sleeping with Shego. It was not like there was something wrong with her mistress; well, nothing that she could see and she thought that she saw more of Shego than anybody else. She would not mind seeing more of the older woman and she would more than willingly provide what her master craved if Drakken wanted to continue acting like he was some deranged type of monk, if only she was given the chance.

She recalled Drakken pretty well from when she briefly interacted with him three years ago at a huge science convention. He had been her father's roommate back in college, so her father had introduced him to the whole family. She clearly remembered the look that crossed her mother's face when her father introduced Kim as a future rocket scientist; her mother had practically scoffed at the idea with her expression. He also proclaimed the tweebs as future rocket scientist; it seemed in her father's mind, they were all just going to follow in his footsteps.

Drakken had not been particularly interested in meeting their branch of the Possible clan or any other branch of the Possible family. He had gotten her mother's name wrong the next time that he saw her during the convention and then had the audacity, though it was plausible that he simply made the mistake of getting into a discussion on the brain as if it was an area that he specialized in with the neurosurgeon. Kim learned that day that it was very important to only talk to experts about their area if she was an expert herself. Drakken looked so lost when her mother had started to go into full detail about certain sections of the brain and nervous system that she was interested in; Kim almost felt sorry for the guy when her mother started up. It was a sad sight, but she stayed for the whole thing because it was like a car accident that she was not involved in.

She then recollected how the blue-skinned man had thrown a temper tantrum because her little brothers walked out of his lecture; the convention organizers gave certain scientists a half hour of lecture time, the scientists charged admission fees and everything. Her brothers had gone to Drakken's because they were fellow inventors, and walking disasters waiting to happen might she add, but he bored them about ten minutes into his speech. They wasted twenty dollars each to go some place that she told them they would not be able to make it through; she refused to divulge what lectures much of her money went to. Drakken had stopped in the middle of his speech to complain about the tweebs trying to walk out. What did he want from them? They had been nine years old for pity's sake. It was impossible to keep a nine-year-old's attention for more than a couple of minutes without video games or explosions being involved; he was lucky to have gotten ten minutes without them testing an invention out on him.

Kim respected Drakken's work, the work that he got finished anyway. But, she still could not figure out why her mistress would be with such a man. She thought that Drakken was a bit immature and slightly emotionally disturbed. Her owner did not need something like that in her life; she had enough stress in her life as it was. She considered that Drakken might act differently around Shego; hey, the teen was a firm believer that anything was possible.

To get her mind off of Drakken and Shego, Kim grabbed one of her books, which she finished a few hours later. She then went to the microwave and heated up her dinner; Shego cooked before leaving because Betty refused to make another meal for Shego's brat, as she had kindly put it. Kim ate and then went to read another book. She was about to go bed, but something quickly caught her attention.

Kim leaped down from her loft space as the front door opened. She attached herself to Shego as soon as the older woman was inside. She waited for the usual yelling that did not come.

"Not now, Pumpkin. I just want to take a shower and go to bed," Shego informed the girl in a tired tone.

Kim released her mistress and let her go about her business. He must have freaked out again, the redhead concluded. The wage for being a genius was insanity and that was a little too obvious to Kim because Drakken had to be completely loopy to not jump into bed with Shego the moment the opportunity presented itself.

--(New day)

Kim was sitting on Shego's bed while watching the older woman pull out a suitcase from her closet. She continued to watch as Shego began going through her dresser draws and pulling out clothes. The redhead smiled, thinking that they were going on a trip.

"Are we going somewhere?" Kim asked while wondering when she should start packing things.

"I'm taking my vacation," Shego answered.

"Where are we going?" Kim inquired eagerly.

"I'm going to the coast."

"And you're not taking me?" the redhead whined once she noted the singular individual mentioned in the simple response. She should have known that she was not going along. Her mistress was so mean!

"No pets allowed," Shego replied.

"You're taking nutty blue-guy, aren't you?" the teen asked with a pout. She recalled that her brothers kept referring to Drakken as "old blue-y" when they met him and she was tempted to call him that now. She really wanted to call him some other things, but she suspected that such words would really anger extremely her tense owner. As she thought about it, Shego deserved a vacation, but it should be with her and not that blue lunatic.

"His name's Drakken."

"Really wouldn't his name be that first initial?" the teenager pointed out to be a brat.

"You want to keep being smart?" Shego countered.

"Well, you're taking him, aren't you?"

"It's none of your business."

"I would be so much better company! I want to come," Kim cried while beating on the bed with her fists.

"Yeah, well, so do I," Shego remarked.

"Is that what this is about?" the olive-eyed teenager asked with a mocking smirk on her face.

"Just shut up," the older female huffed. Where was a ball or something for her to make the girl go fetch and get her out of her sight?

"You're not taking me just so you can jump him. Come on!" Kim protested.

"Princess, it's none of your damn business. You're just a pet and you can't come. So, just drop it already," the raven-haired officer commanded.

"He's just going to freak again," Kim commented smugly. She thought that it might help her mistress reconsider who she wanted to bring with her on vacation.

"Shut up!" Shego hollered and her hands ignited.

Kim yelped and decided to sit quietly while her owner packed for a romantic getaway at the coast. She would not mind going along and spending the whole week on a beach with Shego. She wondered how angry her mistress would be if she managed to get to the coast too.

* * *

Next time: Kim has the house all to herself, what will she do with her time? Will everything go according to plan with Shego on vacation? And what could Kim possibly do to prompt Shego to seriously hit her?


	8. Problem Eight: Stepping out on your own

Don't own the characters and I don't own the premise of this story.

Problem eight: Stepping out on your own…

_When you let your pet out of the house without supervision, does it stop being your pet until you call it back into the house? If it doesn't come back, is it no longer your pet?_

Kim was laid out in her bed, sleeping on her stomach and spread out like a drown victim; it had been a bit weird going to sleep in her bed. There was a thick book in her hand that was opened in the middle of it. She groaned as she heard her alarm going off. It was strange being woken up by the alarm and not by her mistress' infuriated screams. She wished that Shego was around.

The redhead had done some things to keep busy since her master had left a few days ago that she thought would be fun. She curled up in her owner's bed the first night that she was home alone, but it just was not as much fun to do without Shego being there to be upset with her for breaking the rules. She slept there anyway that first night, but not again after that.

She then went through her owner's things just to be a naughty pet. She did not find anything interesting really. Well, it was just that everything she discovered, she expected, except for a pack of cigarettes. She had not seen her mistress smoke in all the time that she had been there, so she gathered that they were for serious emergencies or possibly someone else's. She was leaning toward serious emergencies because they were hidden in a box in the very back of the closet. She had put them back exactly where she found them and went about her business after that.

Kim crawled out of bed and went to get ready for the day that she had ahead of her; it was four in the morning. She grabbed a glass of orange juice as breakfast and brushed her teeth after that. She took a cold shower to insure that she was awake. She dressed in black capri pants and a magenta shirt. She grabbed a duffle bag and a backpack from her loft space, put her on slip-on sneakers, and exited the house.

"I hope she doesn't get too mad when she calls and I don't answer," Kim muttered to herself as she locked up and then she started jogging down the street.

* * *

Shego rose from bed well into the afternoon. She was alone in bed; she had gone to bed alone, much to her dismay. She yawned and stretched before casting her covers away as if they deeply offended her; she was dressed in pajamas. She felt so tense, but that was all right because she planned on getting a deep massage anyway.

The green-skinned woman went to the balcony of her hotel room and stared at the scenic view. Her terrace had a spectacular outlook of the sparkling, breathtaking white sand beach below. The water was pure aqua in color and she would love to go for another swim; she had spent many hours on the beach already. She bet that she would feel a lot better if she went out there in a thin bikini and got some attention from men that she did not even want. She then shook the thought away.

There was no reason for her to think about something that she had already done so many times that it was becoming tedious. Her mind wandered to her home; she hoped that the place was still standing. She was not sure if her pet was capable of being on her own for a whole week; she hoped the little idiot was still alive.

"I wonder if Princess is all right. I hope she didn't burn the place down. Nah, something like that would've been on the news or Betty would've called or something. I'll call her later and make sure she's all right," Shego told herself and then there was a knock at the door. "Yo!" she called.

"Um…Shego," Drakken whimpered meekly from the hallway.

The pale woman sighed. "What? You lost the key again?" she asked as she went to the door to let the scientist in.

"No," he answered in an indignant tone as she opened the door. He got insulted over the dumbest things in her opinion.

"Then what's the problem?" she snapped.

"I was just wondering if you're still mad at me."

Shego growled; of course she was still mad! They had already been there for three whole days and they had not done the one thing that she wanted to do. Every time she started something, he thought of some lame excuse to run out on her. She was prepared to do almost anything to get him to agree, but she was starting to doubt that he would respond to any sort of erotic maneuvers.

In a moment, she thought that she might have to just threaten him to get what she desired. Yeah, she would light up her hands and command that he screw her or die. Unfortunately, knowing Drakken, he would cry if she did something like that, which would be the ultimate turn off. She did not know what she was going to do about him.

"Why can't he be more like Pumpkin," Shego wondered and then she realized what she just thought. She shook her head, hoping to expel such a vile notion from her brain. Why would she want anyone to be like her helpless, whiny pet anyway?

"So, you're not mad?" Drakken asked when he saw her shaking her head.

"Huh? Oh, no," she answered.

"Then let's go get some lunch," he suggested.

"I need to shower and things,' she pointed out.

Shego grabbed her clothes and disappeared into the bathroom. She hopped into the shower and her thoughts drifted back to her pet. She hoped that the girl was all right. Everything was probably going to be a mess when she got back, she bet, but that was all right as long as her teen was not injured or ill.

* * *

Kim got off of the bus and looked at the strip of hotels that were going up and down the block. She inhaled deeply to catch the scent of fresh sea air, even though she smelled sea air almost on a weekly basis thanks to her missions and all the traveling that was involved in her hobby. Still, there was something about salt in the air that just begged to be taken in upon arrival.

"K.P!" Ron called and waved to her from down the street like she was blind.

Kim waved back just to let the blonde boy know that she saw him and he could stop waving like a lunatic. Ron was with Monique and Yori halfway down the street by Monique's small red car. Kim held up on finger to signal to them that she would be with them in a moment.

The redhead just needed to find out what the cheerleading squad was doing before going to hang out with her crew. Once she was told that after they checked in, they were free to go, she jogged down the block when everything was taken care of. She went and joined her friends.

"I can't believe you still do this cheerleading crap," Monique commented. She was only slightly teasing because she really did not understand why her friend, a practically grown woman, was still a cheerleader.

"Hey, Ron still does it too," Kim pointed out.

"And you don't think I made fun of him the whole drive?" Monique remarked with an amused smile. She entertained herself through most the drive by getting on the blonde's case for his current activities.

"She did, K.P, and she was way harsh with my sweetie sitting right next to me, yo," Ron complained.

"You know how Monique is. You took your chances in the car with her instead of riding the bus with us. You should've taken the bus," Kim stated with no sympathy whatsoever. He knew what the ride was going to be like after all and shame on him if he thought otherwise.

"What, and have them make fun of me like this is still high school? No thank you, ma'am," the blonde retorted.

"They were too busy listening to Bonnie bitch about Brick to think about you," Kim informed the boy. She wished that she had headphones to avoid hearing the bothersome conversation; her Kimmunicator could be used to listen to music too, but she just did not have the headphones to take advantage of that feature.

"She's still dating him, even though he didn't graduate high school yet?" Monique inquired.

"What Bonnie does is her business. I'm not trying to put reason to it because it has nothing to do with me," Kim replied.

"Forget about them. Let's go change and hit the beach, so I can see three fine ladies in bikinis," Ron cheered.

"Watch it, Ron-kun," Yori warned him.

"Ah, babe, you know I'm only playing. I'll keep my eyes glued to you the whole time. My hands too if you want," the blonde replied with a cheeky grin.

All of the girls rolled their eyes and the friends went to go check into their rooms. Ron and Yori shared a room while Kim shared with Monique. They wasted no time throwing on their swimsuits and charging out onto the beach as if it was the greatest thing they had ever done. They hit the water and then reality hit them.

"It's cold!" they all wailed at the same time; Rufus was spared the frost that was like a thousand needles because he was sitting on Ron's head for once and not in his pocket.

The friends calmed down and settled into the water to get used to it. Once it did not seem like they were hip deep in ice water, they started playing around. They had mock-battles in the water until Ron went too far. He picked Yori up and did something he knew that she disliked; he threw her in the water a couple of yards away.

She hated being tossed around in water and it would not have looked half as bad as it did if he was not a well-versed master of monkey kung-fu; people that witnessed the stunt gasped, thinking that she was going to be seriously hurt. It was a good thing that Yori was a ninja and she made the assault against her look like nothing at all by gaining control of herself and doing a somersault in the air. She landed gracefully in the water and then turned to glare daggers at her boyfriend.

"What?" Ron asked in an innocent voice.

"I shall have my revenge," Yori vowed.

"Oh, yeah? How you gonna do it? I'm the mystical monkey-pull-pranks-on-his-girl master," Ron retorted and then he had to top it off. "Boo-yah!"

Yori offered Ron a devilish smirk, which was an expression that he usually loved, but he knew that it was not a good thing there. She then began to confer with Kim and Monique. Ron had learned in the past that whenever his three favorite ladies got together to talk and he was mere feet away, he needed to get farther away. He started to move, but Kim was suddenly blocking his way. He yelped because she seemed to just appear out of nowhere.

"Ron, I hear you turned your six pack into an eight pack. Care to show me?" Kim requested in a seductive whisper. There was a hint of mischief in her olive green eyes.

"Nah, I wear the tee-shirt for a reason," Ron assured her while tugging on his tank top. Suddenly he felt someone sneaking up on his back. He glanced to his side and saw Monique snaking her way up to his shoulders. He was officially a Ron sandwich and all of his escape routes were now blocked.

"Your back feels like it got bigger," Monique commented while brushing her fingers across his lower back.

"It hasn't," Ron promised her in a nervous voice. He told himself to stay focused because there was a trap in the works. It was hard to stay focused with so much soft skin touching him, though.

"Ron, let me see you abs," Kim forcefully requested while reaching out to touch his stomach.

The blonde knew that Kim and Monique were only a distraction and he tried to keep telling himself that mentally to stay on track. They would never just randomly molest him for no reason, especially with his girlfriend somewhere around. But, it felt so good that he did not think too much on it.

Rufus was not as easily tempted be scantly-clad females and he had done his math. He put the equation together that molestation minus Yori, as she had seemingly vanished from the scene, equaled compromising position for young Mister Stoppable. The naked rodent tried to warn Ron that Yori was missing in action, but Ron was trying to fend off Kim and Monique; he was not trying as hard as he should have.

Kim and Monique worked their way as close to Ron as human possibly while remaining decent about it. They were touching him with very enchanting fingers and very busty parts of theirs were pressed against him. Then they both leaned in close, Kim very near his mouth and Monique right at his ear. They both practically purred his name at the same time.

"Yeah?" he answered in a dazed tone.

"Don't get out of the water," Kim warned him in a low, throaty tone.

"What? Why?" he asked, very confused.

"Because you're assed out," Monique replied with a laugh.

Kim and Monique moved away from the poor boy and Yori came up out of the water directly in front of her boyfriend. She held up a pair of dark blue swimming trunks that looked suspiciously familiar to Ron. The blonde looked down; no, she did not do that, his mind screamed.

"Looking for something, Ron-kun?" Yori asked with a demonic smile. Hell really hath no fury like a woman scorned, he silently decided, especially when that woman dealt in stealth.

"Oh, man!" he groaned. He made a mental note to never piss off a ninja. "Come on, that is so not cool, babe!" he whined.

"You may be a mystical monkey master, but you are still such a boy," Yori commented, still smiling in triumph.

"A boy with no pants!" Monique added with a laugh. It was clear that she was thoroughly entertained by the look in her chocolate eyes alone, but she was dying of laughter too.

"You'd think he'd learn to stop throwing her around in water," Kim remarked; she was just as amused as the other two laides.

"I'd be surprised if Ron Stoppable learned anything at all," Monique quipped.

"Oh, yeah, that's funny. Just pick on the pants-less guy," Ron griped.

"Thank you, I will," Monique replied.

Ron turned his attention back to Yori. "Come on, babe. I'm sorry. Gimme my pants back, please," he implored her.

"I was under the impression that she liked him better without pants," Kim commented.

"Oh, don't go there, girl," Monique said.

"I'm merely making an observation," the redhead replied with a laugh.

* * *

After some rough water play, Kim and Monique decided to go sunbath for a little bit. They settled down on their towels and watched Ron and Yori for a few moments from the shore before realizing the couple was taking serious advantage of their absence. They turned away from the water while hoping that some poor little kid did not swim by the couple or that no one spoke Japanese on the beach.

"I told you, she's like him more without the pants," Kim remarked.

"That's just sick and wrong," Monique declared.

"I agree."

"You agree? Didn't you have the nerve to do it in a bathroom stall once at that club?" the chocolate-eyed girl inquired with a craned eyebrow.

"It was once. Why do you keep bringing it up? Weren't you the one that did it in an open garage once?" Kim countered.

"Ew, don't even remind me that happened. I'm trying to curb my bad habits as I grow up. You, on the other, seem to acquire new bad habits for every one you grow out of," Monique pointed out.

"No, I don't. I'm just adventurous. That's how I am. I feel like I need to try everything once," the redhead replied.

"It could get you killed one day," Monique pointed out the obvious.

"Something will," the hero commented with a shrug. It was hard not to be aware of her mortality considering most of her basic interests, but that never stopped her from doing something new. Hell, walking outside could get her killed, so death was not about to prevent her from living.

"Sometimes, girl, I think you lack common sense," the chocolate-eyed girl commented.

"Maybe I do, but I've got enough street smarts, book smarts, and skill to keep me going. I'm not out to totally self-destruct. I just want the experience."

"The experience of everything?"

"I know it seems crazy, but I just want the experience of something just as much as I want to help people. That's why I take missions and that's why I don't charge," Kim explained.

Monique nodded to show that she understood, even though she did not truly comprehend. She accepted that she would never fully understand her good friend, even if they both lived to be a million years old. There was too much of Kim to grasp; she was like a hundred people compressed into one. There just was not enough time in existence to completely comprehend such a person.

Monique was certain about one thing and that was that Kim always knew what she was doing. That was why she never really worried about Kim, even when it seemed like the redhead was doing something crazy. Kim was always aware of her situation and her surroundings; she had yet to run across something that she could not handle.

The pair of friends relaxed in silence for a while. They were then interrupted by two fellows standing in front of them. The girls took the time to look up and from the looks of the guys' wetsuits, they knew that they were being watched by surfers. The two girls then looked at each other and smirked a bit.

"Hey, how about you two ladies come back to the bar with us?" the blonde surfer suggested with a bright smile. He was not a bad looking guy, but he was not their type and neither was his friend.

"Mo, look another same sex couple. I told you wouldn't be the only ones," Kim declared with a sickeningly sweet smile; it looked like poisonous honey might drip from her mouth because of her expression.

"Same sex?" the two guys echoed. They then looked at each other and made disgusted faces. "Whoa! We're not a couple!" they insisted.

"But, we are," Monique lied with a smile similar to her friend's.

"Not to mention you two look cute together," Kim added.

"We wouldn't want to come between you," Monique said.

The surfers looked horrified by the suggestion that they were together. They stormed off while the two girls broke out laughing; obviously they found what happened to be thoroughly entertaining. They took a deep breath and turned to each other.

"That never gets old," Monique commented.

"Yeah, you're right about that," Kim concurred.

"Yeah, but just to let you know, the moment a guy with a tongue ring comes by, you're on your own," Monique informed her friend.

"You'd leave me for a guy with a tongue stud?" the redhead asked in false shock.

"Fine, a tongue stud, a hairless chest, and a nice tan. Maybe a few muscles too," Monique corrected herself.

"Now, that's more like it," Kim replied with a laugh.

"Do you ever wonder when we should stop playing around and start looking for Mister Right? Oh, wait, you've found him already, except he's a woman."

"Ha, ha, ha," the teen hero said dryly.

"She doesn't know about your looming decision, does she?" the African-American girl asked, even though she could guess that.

"There is no decision to know about because one hasn't been made. Are we going to talk about this every time I see you?" Kim inquired in a slightly irked tone.

"All right, I won't bring it up for the whole weekend. We will chill, enjoy the great weather, and maybe pick up some guys. Well, you could help me put up a guy."

"How do you know I don't one too?"

"Because you have a woman at home, duh."

"It just seems like we give you ammunition every time we blink," Kim sighed while shaking her head.

"You guys do some funny stuff. Stop acting silly and I wouldn't have nothing to say. You see I don't crack on Yori much. Why? Because she doesn't act all weird."

"She's dating Ron," Kim pointed out.

"And I throw it in her face every chance I get. It's not as fun as you being the pet of some woman you're into or Ron being a cheerleader. Speaking of your weird activity, what do you think of the competition? You guys have a shot?" Monique asked.

"Of course we do. We practice every day and most of us actually show up for practice on a daily basis. We've got a killer routine. Barring any accidents, we should be fine," Kim answered.

"Independent cheerleading competitions. What will they think of next? Cheering with no sport or team to support just seems wrong."

"Don't hate. You don't hear me bellyaching about those fashion designing contest you're in, do you?"

"There's nothing to bellyache about. Those are hot and most of them are legit," Monique argued.

"Just like cheerleading competitions. Don't try to get on my hobbies when yours are just as weird. I hope we win this thing."

"Why? It's not like you need the money, pet-girl," the wavy-haired girl remarked.

"You're really having fun throwing this in my face, aren't you?" the redhead asked in a dry tone.

"Loving every minute of it."

"I thought as much. I'm glad I could bring such happiness into your life," Kim remarked.

"Thank you kindly," Monique replied with a laugh.

* * *

Shego strolled down the street with Drakken, who was carrying a couple of bags. He was scanning the area for another souvenir shop. The fourth shop in that hour alone; she was lucky to still have the little bit of sanity that she was holding onto. The man had a thing for useless junk, like snow globes and dancing cactus toys with sunglasses. Shego considered picking up a gift for her pet, but was indecisive about the idea because it would only give her a weapon if she went back home and found that something happened. Heaven help her silly little pet if something was broken.

"Shego, you're not paying attention, are you?" Drakken asked.

"No, I heard every word you said," Shego lied. She had stopped listening to him once he started talking about bobble-head dolls because all she could do was picture herself shoving one of those big-headed things down his throat or up his ass.

"No, you didn't," he huffed angrily.

"I didn't know you needed me to listen. It seems like you like the sound of your own voice more than anything else," Shego remarked.

"I'd appreciate a little respect."

"And that's just about as much as I give you," she retorted.

Drakken frowned. "Don't get snippy, Shego."

"I'm always snippy," she informed him.

"And I never appreciate it."

"Well, use your phone and call someone that gives a damn."

The blue-skinned male growled; his fury evident in his eyes. Shego met his anger with her own bothered feeling and decided that she could care less about how he felt. He opened his mouth and she waited for his irritation to be manifested verbally. Then his onyx-rimmed eyes suddenly softened.

"Oh, an electronic store," Drakken said. "Come, Shego, we've got to go in there."

"Of course," she deadpanned.

* * *

Once it was nighttime, Shego decided to go to a club whether or not Drakken wanted to go and he did not want to do. Screw him, she silently declared as she put on her sexist green dress. She was not wearing the gown for its intended purpose, but she did not care. At least she could get drunk if she went out and pretend to have a good time, she told herself. She put on some black stiletto heels and left Drakken to count all of the useless crap he purchased.

The raven-haired beauty smiled to herself as she walked through the hotel and got a lot of recognition from guys before she even hit the street. She stepped out of the hotel and spotted a group of teens across the street. She would not have given them a second thought, but one of them was a certain redhead that was supposed to be in Go City.

"Pumpkin!" Shego called.

"Shego?" Kim said when she heard one of her pet names being called. She looked across the street and there was her mistress. She turned back to her friends. "Guys, could you excuse me for a second," she requested.

"Sure thing, K.P," Ron answered for himself and the two ladies.

Kim checked up and down the street to make sure no speeding car would almost mow her down and then she trotted over to Shego. When she was standing close enough to see, she noticed the dress that her owner was wearing and it took all of her self-control to not whistle like a wolfish male. Her mind was screaming "damn!" because of the clothing. Then she thought about the reason as to why Shego would be wearing such an outfit and she bet that it had something to do with Drakken.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Shego demanded to know.

"Cheerleading competition," Kim answered with a shrug, as if that would mean anything to her master.

"Cheerleading competition?" the older woman echoed like she did not even know what it was.

"Yeah, I'm competing tomorrow. You should come and check out. It's at that hotel over there," Kim informed her mistress while pointing across the street to the hotel that her friends were standing in front of. She also noticed that her friends were pointing at their wrists, as if any of them were wearing watches, to signal that they were running late.

"What are you even talking about?" Shego asked.

"It starts at four," the teen informed the older woman, who still appeared rather bemused. She happened to glance at her pet's feet and noticed the girl's laces were untied.

"Princess, your shoes," Shego said while pointing down at the teen's feet.

Kim looked down. "Oh," she muttered when she saw her shoes. Laces were so annoying, she thought.

"Stand still. I'll get them."

"No, it's all right. I'll get them in a moment. I need to get going. Oh, yeah, you look totally wicked in that dress," Kim commented before dashing off back to her friends and leaving with them.

Shego watched as her pet disappear down the street and she could not help thinking how odd her brief encounter with Kim had been. Her pet had not acted like she usually did. She was not unbelievably enthusiastic or sickeningly hyper. She had not tried to hug Shego at all. She had even said that she would tie her own shoes. She was almost normal, especially when she went back to her friends instead of trying to tag along with Shego. And since when did her pet have friends and cheerleading competitions?

* * *

"Kim, who was that?" Monique asked as the four friends walked down the street. They were dressed in their regular clothes, figuring that they would go check a movie instead of wilding out at a club like they would do back in Go City.

"That was Shego," Kim answered as if it was nothing.

"I thought you said she was on vacation," Ron said.

"She is. She must be vacationing here," Kim reasoned. Wow, all that coast and they end up in the same city; the cosmos were trying to say something, she thought.

"It's not a bad spot for a vacation, but it is weird for you and her to be in the same place by accident," Monique commented.

"Freakishly weird," Ron added.

"Excuse me, but who is Shego?" Yori asked.

"Kim's owner," Ron and Monique answered as if that was the most normal thing to leave their mouths all day.

"Her what?" the Japanese girl asked because she was thought that she had heard wrong.

"Her owner," they repeated in just as a nonchalant tone as before.

"Your owner?" Yori asked while turning to Kim to get the full explanation.

"I thought Ron would've blabbed this a long time ago considering how much he goes on about it when I see him. I'm Shego's pet," Kim told the confused ninja, which did not help her understand.

"What do you mean you're her pet? You're a human being," Yori pointed out.

"Not to mention Kim Possible," Ron added just because he thought that it would add fuel to the fire.

"Does it not wound your honor to be some woman's pet?" Yori asked.

"I made a decision and I can live it. Like I told big mouth one and big mouth two, I don't expect you to understand. You're pretty much normal. I know it's a bizarre concept, but you're not the one living the life I have. You'll probably never get why I can stay being her pet," Kim told her friends.

"You damn right," Monique concurred. "No way in hell I'd just be some chick's pet."

"I learn the strangest things from you three," Yori commented with a giggle.

"Says the girl that graduated from a secret ninja school," Kim remarked.

"Hey, don't try to get at Yori. At least she graduated at a regular age," Ron defended his girlfriend.

"Fifteen is a regular age," Kim argued.

"Um, yeah, to have acne, not to graduate high school. You Possible," Ron said her name like it was an insult, but he was just teasing her.

"He's right, Kim. You are such a Possible," Monique joined in.

"Wait a second, who here isn't tied down by their name? Come on, tell me," Kim countered. There was a moment of silence.

"You've won this round, Possible, but we shall return," Ron declared and they all had a good laugh.

--(New day)

Shego entered the hotel and looked around. It looked better than the hotel that she was staying in, she silently noted. The lobby was huge with plush chairs shattered around the place and there was a bar area off to the right. She scanned for an employee and easily spotted one since he happened to be eyeing her body from five feet away from her.

"Yo," Shego called and it took the young man a moment to realize that she was addressing him.

"Um…yes, ma'am?" he asked while taking his eyes off of her barely clothed body. She was showing off her toned abdomen by walking around in a black bikini top and she had on cut off black shorts. It was hot; all right, that was it and that was all.

"Where's the cheerleading thing?" she inquired.

"Oh, it's right down there through the glass doors," he replied while pointing toward the back of the hotel.

Shego nodded as thanks and then marched off in the direction that the young man instructed her to go; he kept watching her as she moved on. He was kind of cute, she said to herself. She had left Drakken to his own devices, literally. He was getting a kick out of programming all of the electronic equipment that he wasted money on and she decided it was best to get away from him before she snapped.

The pale woman went through the glass doors and saw rows of chairs, most of which were occupied. She could not believe how many people were there to see a cheerleading competition. She looked directly ahead of her and noticed that there was a squad on stage going through a routine already. She searched the area for a chair.

"Ay-yo!" Monique called and waved, hoping to get Shego's attention. She would give Kim one thing, the woman did stand out in a crowd. She was the only one that looked like she did not want to there with skin that was a light greenish tint, just like Kim said.

Shego noticed the girl waving, but since she did not know the teen, she thought that the signal was for someone else. She looked around and did not see anyone else standing. The girl continued to wave and then she started pointing at Shego. The raven-haired woman finally gave in and pointed to herself, quietly asked if she was the one that the girl wanted. Monique nodded and Shego walked over to Monique, who was sitting with Yori.

"You Shego?" Monique asked.

"Who wants to know?" the law enforcement agent countered.

"I'm Monique, Kim's friend. That's Yori, also Kim's friend," the wavy-haired girl explained while pointing down at the ninja, who was holding Rufus in her hands.

"And the bald chipmunk?" Shego asked.

"Mole rat, ma'am. He's a naked mole rat," Yori politely corrected the older female.

"Yeah, whatever," Shego scoffed.

"Well, we saved you a seat. Kim didn't go up yet," Monique informed her friend's owner.

Shego scoffed again to show that she did not care. "Whatever."

Monique already thought that Shego had a bad attitude and she was not looking forward to sitting next to the woman for the whole competition. Shego did not say much and Monique was free to converse with Yori, which they were all thankful for. Shego mostly grumbled complaints or insults toward the action on the stage; she obviously was not one for cheerleading, which was something that Monique could understand.

Shego failed to see the purpose behind cheerleading, especially on its own. She did not see what they were cheering with no sports team involved. Maybe they were cheering their complete and utter stupidity, not that she saw it as something to celebrate. She could see how her pet and her pet's friends would enjoy such a thing; it was a mindless activity after all.

Monique and Yori paid some attention to Shego to at least try and understand why their friend would submit to being the woman's pet. She just seemed like a grumpy woman to them. She scowled for the whole time that she sat there and she did not make any attempt to pay them some mind.

The raven-haired woman watched until her pet came out. She thought that it would be the same useless jumping around as the other squads, but she turned out to be wrong. Her pet's team, her pet especially, did some things that she would never expect a cheerleader to do. Some of the redhead's moves did not appear as if they were rooted in cheerleading, Shego noted. She left as soon as her pet's routine was over. Monique and Yori just watched her leave.

"Did she seem special to you?" Monique inquired.

"No, only cranky," Yori answered.

"I thought it was just me. Would you want to be her pet?"

"No."

"Me neither."

* * *

It was nightfall and Shego was sitting alone on some rocks that were on the beach. She stared into the darkness of the waves. She then sensed someone coming near her. She spun around to see her pet was less than ten feet away from her. How in the hell had the teen gotten so close to her? She did not know, but she did not like. She wondered if her reflexes were getting slower.

"I've been looking all over for you," Kim informed the pale woman.

"Why?" Shego inquired, thinking that her pet was going to get all hyper, affectionate, and clinging like always. Well, usually anyway. Her pet had not been any of those things so far.

"I wanted to thank you for coming to the competition," Kim replied as she continued closer to her mistress. She noted how tense Shego seemed. She concluded that Drakken freaked out yet again. What a moron.

"I left before it was over," Shego informed the girl in an irked tone.

"But, you came and saw me, so thanks for that much."

"Yeah, so? You think I give a damn about your thanks? You're just a pet," Shego pointed out.

"I know. We won," Kim reported.

"So?"

"It's been a good day. You came to see me, we won, we all went out and celebrated, and Bonnie didn't say anything because she was too busy on the phone begging on of professors not to fail her. It was a good day," Kim said mostly to herself.

"What-the-hell-ever." Shego scoffed and cast her emerald eyes back out to see. It had not been a very good day in her opinion.

Kim smiled and then she looked down at her master's hands to see that they were balled into tight fists. The redhead did not even think about her next actions; she reached out for her mistress. She took the older woman's hands in her own.

"Princess!" Shego shrieked and she tried to pull away, but found that her pet had a good grip.

Kim did not respond. She continued to hold onto one of her mistress' hands. She put the hand to her lips and kissed her knuckles. The emerald-eyed woman managed to yank her hand away from Kim, who did not appear put off. She stepped just a bit closer to her owner, who seemed to tense up even more so than before. Kim wanted the older woman to just relax and let go.

The redhead leaned in with a speed that Shego did not expect. Their lips connected and then a few seconds later Shego felt the girl's tongue in her mouth. It was like sweet velvet against her own tongue and she relaxed for a moment before her mind pointed out what was going on.

The raven-haired female forcefully pushed Kim away from her. She then punched the teen directly on the cheek in a rage and knocked Kim to the sand. The teen did not bother to stand back up.

"How dare you do that, you little bitch! Stay away from my house!" Shego commanded and then she started to storm off.

Kim nodded and touched her sore cheek. "I've got other places to go," she muttered to the air.

"Then fucking go!" Shego ordered; Kim had not anticipated being heard.

"Fine," the redhead sighed.

* * *

For those curious about the use of the term "-kun," it's like "-san," but used between peers and people like that.

Next time: Well, Kim has been kicked out, so where will she go now? What will Shego do without a pet?


	9. Problem Nine: Leaving the gate open

Still, characters, not mine; they're Disney's. Premise not mine; it's Tramps like Us by Yayoi Ogawa.

Problem nine: Leaving the gate open…

_You left the gate open and the dog ran out. Logic would say that you should leave the gate open from then on in case the dog wanders back and can get back in._

Shego woke up to the sound of her alarm clock going off. She groaned and thought about giving the annoying mechanical device a plasma-charged punch to end that insulting wailing that it was emitting. Instead of breaking the offending object, she hit the button just to shut it up. She then crawled out of bed and trudged around the silent apartment to get ready for work.

She tried her best not to think about how dead her home seemed now that it was just her in the place. There was no whining for pancakes that she had gotten so accustomed to denying. There was no hugging or a kiss on the cheek before she left for work. There was nothing but the tomb-like quiet that was engulfed the apartment.

The raven-haired woman marched into work with an even more furious expression than usual. Doctor Director noticed her friend's vexed look and she thought that she knew what the problem was. She waited for lunch to say something about her theory on why her friend/employee was looking so aggravated. She figured after a morning assignment, Shego would be more approachable, having taken some of her frustration out on some mutant lizard man that ran through several squads of regular police; not to mention, he also literally ran through their cars.

Shego did not look any better when she and Betty walked to their usual café a few yards from work. The chief ordered her usual lunch while the green-skinned female just scowled at the table like she wanted to wage war against the thing. Betty sighed and shook her head.

"He freaked out over the vacation, didn't he?" Betty asked as she calmly stirred her tea. Shego seemed to have sexual frustration written all over her face, in her old friend's opinion anyway.

"What?" Shego inquired.

"He freaked out, right?"

"Yeah, he completely freaked," Shego answered absently, as if she did not care, Betty noted.

"That explains your mood…or does it? Anything else happen?" the one-eyed female inquired in an intrigued voice.

"My stupid pet is gone…" Shego grumbled.

"Really? She ran off?"

"I threw the little bitch out," the younger woman declared proudly; a little too proudly if anyone bothered to ask Doctor Director.

"Really? Why'd you do that?" Betty asked. She had come to believe that the brat could get away with anything and Shego would not do anything serious to her. It was like super-powered female did not want to discipline her pet, so her pet did not know that there were boundaries. Hell, Betty was not sure if there were boundaries when it came to her good friend and that teen.

"She kissed me," Shego answered.

"Yeah, so? Doesn't she do that often?" Doctor Director inquired. She had seen the teenager kiss Shego on the cheek dozens of times. It was sickeningly cute.

"She put her tongue in my mouth," Shego clarified.

"Oh." The brown-haired woman nodded; that was a different story. Now, she thought that it was easy to offend Shego, but she was certain that a girl sticking her tongue in Shego's mouth was a justified reason to be infuriated.

The chief eyed her friend. She hated to think about what was really bothering the irritated female and that was because her little brat was gone, not because the teen had kissed her. Shego certainly had been acting weird since she found the little freeloader. She thought about her friend pre-pet days.

Shego had always been the standoffish, distant type. She hated to be bothered with anything that she considered stupid or useless, which was just about everything and everyone on the planet as far as she was concerned. She quickly built up a bad girl reputation and that was the Shego that everyone was used to; hell, a handful of people even knew how to deal with that Shego. The Shego that did not smile, or compliment people, or go out of her way to help a person unless there was something in it for her. Shego was a rock that took what she wanted, no questions asked, but that was before she got her pet.

Betty had not seen Shego interact much with her little brat because, quite frankly, she did not like the teen too much, but she had seen enough of the pair together to think that she probably did not know her friend as well as she thought she did. She never would have thought that she would live to see Shego pet anything, but she noticed how gently Shego caressed her brat's head. Shego even let the scaredy-cat kid hug her, kiss her, even sleep in her bed sometimes. It seemed unheard of to Betty.

The stranger thing was the vibe that the one-eyed woman was getting from Shego at the moment. It seemed almost obvious that the younger female missed her pet. She probably regretted kicking her out, Betty considered. She did not understand why her friend would regret such a thing; she could not allow that little brat to take whatever liberties that she wished. Shego had to lay down the law, especially in her own home, her friend thought anyway.

"When'd you throw her out?" Betty asked Shego.

"A few days ago," Shego answered.

"Wow, she hasn't come back?" the one-eyed woman asked in disbelief. She thought that idiotic brat would have been back within hours, crying an apology and begging that her mistress let her back in the house.

"No. The stupid kid is probably dead now anyway," Shego said in a dismissive tone. Betty nodded because it was probably true.

* * *

"Ron, thanks for letting me stay here for a while," Kim said as she entered the blonde's two bedroom apartment.

"No big, K.P. Gotta help out the little people that occasionally save the world," Ron remarked.

"Occasionally? I just saved the world yesterday from a black hole machine. It was a ferociously cool machine—"

"No science talk!" Ron screamed in sheer horror. He even covered his ears in case she did not respect his wishes and continued speaking about the machine.

"All right, all right. Where's Yori?" Kim asked while curiously looking around the apartment.

"She had sociology class today," he answered.

Kim nodded to that information and stared around the apartment, even though she had been to the place before. She thought that they might have changed some things around since her last visit, but everything appeared pretty much how she remembered them. It was a pretty spacious, especially for two people. Ron could afford it because his naco checks just kept coming in and, thankfully, Yori managed funds way better than the blonde boy.

At the door, there was a space for people to take off their shoes, which Yori insisted on. Kim always obliged on taking off her shoes, but she never put on the slippers that were waiting for guests. She preferred to walk around in her socks, which was all right by the ninja.

The apartment while clean was covered in clutter. There were books, journals, and papers everywhere; the trouble with being the house of two fulltime college students was that they rarely found the time to clean up after studying and other things were done. The reason that they had a two bedroom apartment was for one room to act as an office and hopefully keep their mess contained in one room, but as the school term progressed, the whole place transformed into one big office.

"The couch or the room, which one is less messed up?" Kim inquired.

"Well, if we're going by proportions, I'd say they're about equal. But, due to size, the couch is much definitely the lesser of two evils in this one," Ron answered and they both decided to ignore that he had actually used math in a normal situation. He hated to think that Kim might be rubbing off on him.

"It would be much easier to clean off the sofa…" Kim mused aloud with a finger to her chin.

"Well, we could always combine forces and eventually we should find that bed in the office," Ron commented.

"Unless the floor devoured it," Kim remarked.

Ron laughed a bit and they walked into the last room in the apartment. It was full of books and papers that were littering the whole area. There were bookshelves; some of them were half full, some overstocked, and some with magazines sticking out. There was a desk against the wall with a computer flat scene monitor on top of it and the black keyboard was hanging off of the desk halfway.

"Just how I remember it," Kim muttered to herself. The office pretty much always looked like it had thrown up a library.

"Yeah, we've been meaning to clean since…when did school start?" Ron inquired.

"It doesn't even matter. Let's just get started."

"Hey, it's not a loft space, but I won't set you on fire if I wake up next to you," he joked.

"I promise you, you won't wake up next to me anytime soon."

"Fine. I won't make you dinner every night then," he countered while folding his arms across his chest.

"You don't make dinner every night anyway," she pointed out.

"But, if I did, I wouldn't fix it for you."

"That's okay because I'm not your pet," she replied.

Ron could not help laughing a little bit and they got started on moving things out of the way to locate the bed that was in the room. The bed was there just in case someone needed to stay over, like their good friend Kim the wanderer. Yeah, she was just wandering and not getting anywhere in his opinion.

"Kim…" Ron started to say.

"Don't ask me about it," Kim replied in a pleading tone. Just from the way that he said her name, she knew where he was going and she really did not want to hear it.

"It's just you've been putting it off since you graduated. I don't understand the problem."

"I know you don't because you know what you want to do with your life, exactly what you want to do in fact. You're going to open a restaurant and manage it—"

"Don't forget serve some kick ass snackage," he interjected.

"Right. I respect that. Hell, I admire that. I wish it was so simple for me," she said.

"Hey, K.P, you're not the first teenager that doesn't know what to do. You're definitely not the first teenager to be confused. Just the first teenager that could do anything to be confused. I guess you just got too many options, huh?" Ron remarked with a forced laugh.

"Ron, you know how I feel about this subject."

"Fine, K.P, I'm shutting up, but not talking about isn't helping either," he pointed out.

"Still talking about it," she countered.

"Yeah, so what're you gonna do now that you're not a pet anymore?" he asked curiously.

"What I was doing after graduation, but before being a pet," she answered.

Ron nodded to show that he understood, not that he approved of her lifestyle much. It was not that she did anything over the top because it was almost impossible for her to do anything over the top. He was more than aware that she could take care of herself probably better than anyone else on the planet, but to him that was part of the problem. Because she could do anything, she actually tried to do everything and on her own, which seemed to take away from her humanity a bit. He did not mean that in a bad way; he meant it in a concerned way.

See, Ron believed that a human being understood limitations and limitations led to needs. Humans had needs, but since Kim did not seem to grasp the concept of boundaries, she did not comprehend that she had needs. She understood that a body was limited to certain things and required things like food, air, sleep, and to not impact a surface from a certain distance or beyond a certain speed. Physically speaking, she understood needs, but it was the intangibles that seemed to just go over her head.

A couple of things that he noticed she overlooked were the concepts of safety and the comfort of a home. Ron could not believe the ease that she had left her home with and never looked back, even though her family meant a great deal to her. He hoped that she was going to grow out of that phase and figure out what she wanted to do because she was getting a bit creepy, especially when she first decided to be a pet.

The blonde thought that now since Kim was not a pet, she would try to get her game together. She no longer had a reason to lollygag around, which had not stopped her before she had been a pet. He wanted to have faith in her to do the grown-up thing eventually and by eventually, he meant soon.

"Cha-ching! Pay dirt," Ron cheered as soon as they hit the bed, which had been buried under about a foot worth of debris.

"I was starting to doubt that the bed was even still there," Kim commented.

"Don't doubt the Ron. Although, I guess a mystic vortex could have always opened up and eaten the bed," he mused.

"Anything is possible in this mess."

"It's not a mess, K.P. It's a work in progress," he corrected her.

* * *

Kim crashed on the bed in the office. Ron and Yori were still awake, cramming for exams. Kim knew that it was best for her to go to bed before they did and she had to go to sleep before they made it to their room. She had to or she was going to have to leave because she would not get any sleep. After an hour, she knew what it was going to be; she was going to have to leave.

Ron and Yori did not mean to be rude; they were just used to having their apartment to themselves and Yori was quite the screamer. Kim would give Ron one thing, he never disappointed a girl that gave him a chance. As much as people wanted to call him a loser, they did not know a thing about him, especially back when they got on him in high school. At least in college they learned that the boy really knew how to party, but they did not know about his other skills and Yori wisely kept that a secret to avoid having anyone else look to find out about Ron's prowess.

Kim knew some of the secret, not from first hand experience (she would never think to do that), but because she stayed at their apartment a few times and, thanks to Yori giving her lessons, she spoke fluent Japanese. So, from what she could tell from the passionate hollering that came from the other room, Ron could go for about an hour or more and he seemed to know exactly the right spots when it came to Yori, as the girl would yell to the mountains for a few minutes before falling off of the edge of the world and letting the world know about the plummet. It was not something that Kim was inclined to listen to, especially since it could go on for hours under certain conditions.

So, the redhead grabbed her things and quickly left the house. She did not bother with leaving a note; they would assume that she had left on a mission or just left in general when they discovered that she was gone in the morning. It was no big deal because they knew how she was.

Kim walked the streets and considered where she could go for the night. She considered going to stay with Monique, but she immediately scratched that off of her list. Monique lived at a sorority house and Kim had once just slept on the sofa there. The girls that lived there all but shot Kim when they found her that morning stretched out on their couch. Monique was going to explain who Kim was, but she just waved it off before leaving, just like the girls wanted. She did not want to go through that again, especially if Monique did explain who she was.

Kim went to the next option on her list after Monique and that was Josh Mankey. They used to date and he was cool enough to let her stay at his apartment a few times before. She walked to the house where Josh stayed and went to the basement door; he had the basement apartment. She knocked on the door and Josh answered it seconds later.

"Kim," he greeted her with a grin. He was standing in his underwear like it was no big deal and it really was not; he wore indigo boxers.

"I didn't wake you, did I?" she asked. It being near midnight, she knew that a lot of people were actually sleeping at the hour.

"What? No, I was working on an art project. What's up?"

"I was wondering if I could crash here for a little while. A couple of days, nothing more."

"Oh, yeah, sure."

Josh opened the door all of the way to allow Kim access to his home. She stepped into his bare apartment; it was definitely a step down from Ron and Yori's place. The floor was dried up hardwood; it appeared to be water-damaged. His bed was in the very back and almost looked like a cot with messed up linen. There were clothes, paints, papers, and books all over the place. There were half-eaten meals everywhere, mostly cups of noodles. Crumble-filled pizza boxes littered the area. If there was one thing she could say about Josh was that he never let the bugs in his apartment go hungry.

"It's funny that you should show up today," Josh commented with a cute smile while shutting the door.

"How's that?" Kim asked, even though she could guess why it was funny. She had heard the start of the conversation before.

"Well, I've got this psych paper due…" he trailed off.

"Psych paper? For a music and art major?" she inquired. Kim noticed a while ago that it seemed like every person she closely associated with was a double-major in two areas that were hard to link together. Josh was going for music and painting, Monique was doing fashion designing and English, Yori was going for physics and sociology, and Kim herself had done biology and math. About the only one that made sense was Ron, which was scary, because he was doing business and culinary arts.

"It's a required class," Josh answered with a nonchalant shrug.

Kim nodded for lack of a better thing to do. The whole bit started out with her "helping" Josh with his paper and that evolved into her doing the paper, as things often did. He always acted like he had no idea what was going on, but if he was as clueless as he was pretending to be, he would have dropped the class, which she knew. She was aware that he just did not want to do the paper and probably thought that it would be easy for her, which it was, but that was not the point.

As cool as Josh like to fashion himself, Kim knew him better than that now, especially since she had stayed at his place a few times. She could not believe that she used to like him like him now that she knew him better. He was not as cool as he pretended to be, especially now.

The problem was that Josh was cute and he knew that. He was smooth too and to have more time to do what he wanted, namely work on his music and paintings, he used his charms to get girls to do most of his work for him. He tried to work his magic on Kim almost every time he saw her, but it did not really work. She was aware of his manipulation whenever he tried to use it on her, unlike most other girls.

Then why was the redhead doing his work now? Simple, she did the work to pay back the favor of him allowing her to stay at his apartment. It was pretty much the bartering system that she lived her life by, even though she was used to doing the favor first and then a kind person would pay it back. Josh had yet to figure out why she did things for him, so sometimes he tried to get her to do his work and she had no reason to cheat for him.

"You know, you look just as hot as I remember from the last time I saw you," Josh commented as he came to sit next to Kim on his bed; his rather hard bed, she noted.

Kim glanced at the musician before turning her attention back to the paper. She laughed to herself because she hoped that Josh did not think that he was getting two favors in one night, especially if he thought that he was going to get laid by her. He leaned over and began running his deft fingers through her fire red hair. He kissed her cheek before she turned back to look at him.

"Do you think I could finish this, please?" Kim requested politely, as if it was her paper.

"All right, all right. Kim, what happened to us? Where did we go wrong?" he inquired in a sexy whisper. Did he really want her to answer that question? If so, she would oblige him.

"I do believe you fucked Bonnie during my second semester of college," she answered casually, as if it did not matter and, to her, it did not. She did not like Josh that way anymore and she was starting to see that when she did like him, it was just a stupid teenage crush.

"Oh…yeah," he muttered, finally showing some humility. He sat straight up, which moved him away from the teen hero.

Kim glanced over at him; yeah, she had liked him a whole lot once. He had been her first; she had been fifteen. She guessed that she mostly did it because she thought that it would be a good way to express her feelings for him since she would be graduating way before he did. It was not as great as people would like her to believe; she certainly would never think to describe it in poetic terms. It did not improve after that first time; she soon figured out that it was him. But, it did not matter by that time.

She did wonder why other girls did not say anything about him, but she figured out the reason behind that too. One girl, she could never be sure who, but she believed that it was Bonnie, made it out that Josh was a monster in bed. So, afterwards, whenever he laid a girl, and he laid plenty, the girl probably thought that he was having an off night or he just was not into her as much as other girls. No girl wanted to tell a bad Josh story after hearing so many outstanding Josh tall tales because the girl thought that it would reflect badly on her, like she was not good enough for him to bring his best game.

Kim was not the type to kiss and tell; it was not really her style or her good friends' styles either. So, she never shared her bad Josh anecdotes, not even with him. She never saw the point to share with him; his ego was too big for her to even believe and she faced off with people that thought they were the greatest since sliced bread almost daily. Josh seriously believed that he was the greatest thing on Earth for the opposite sex. His notions were his business and he was not hurting anybody, so she did not see the point in throwing in her two cents.

"Where're you sleeping tonight?" Josh asked.

"The floor's good enough for me," Kim assured him. She knew where he wanted her to sleep, but she was not even in the mood. In fact, she had not even been in the mood after she broke up with him two years ago. He knew that they were just friends, but he wanted them to be friends with benefits and she was not even feeling that.

"Oh…" he mumbled.

"Yeah, Josh. One favor per customer," she remarked with a light laugh.

"That's cool," he muttered, letting her know that he did not think it was so cool.

"I know it is."

"I don't see why you should sleep on the floor, though—" he tried to argue.

"Because a certain bleached blonde doesn't know how to keep his hands and tongue to himself," she answered in a courteous tone, she even had the nerve to smile at him.

"That's cool…"

"I'm sure it is."

--(New day)

Shego crept into Doctor Director's office while the boss was off biting the head off of some of her more incompetent employees. She eased into the chair and behind the computer. She started going through files.

"Checking the morgue lists again?" Doctor Director inquired from the doorway.

"No, I…" Shego searched her mind for a good lie, but nothing came to mind; she had already used her best material days ago. "Damn it," she growled.

"She didn't come back, yet?"

"No," the younger woman sighed. "But, I don't care."

"Sure you don't. Why not just go out and look for her?" Betty suggested because she was sick of finding excuses to leave her office in order for Shego to sneak in and use the computer.

"Because I don't give a damn," Shego declared while getting up from the chair and storming out of the office.

Doctor Director shook her head. She knew that Shego would not openly look for her pet because that just was not the way Shego went about things. She was stunned that the teen had not come back on her own, begging for Shego to let her back in the house yet. It had been almost a week since she known about the girl being gone. She was willing to concede that the girl was probably dead somewhere and no one found her body yet, but she would not say that unless Shego offered it up first.

Shego went back to work and told herself that her pet was the idiot that started everything; therefore, whatever happened was not Shego's fault. It was on Kim if she was dead somewhere because she was the one that could not follow the rules. Besides, it was not like Shego cared anyway if something happened to the little fool.

The raven-haired woman went on with life like before, telling herself that things were much better without having a pet to take care of. So, she went back to being quick to ignite her hands whenever someone got on her nerves and she was more snappy than most of her co-workers recalled. None of them had really noticed that she had been in a relatively good mood for a long time until she went back to her old self. It made working with her the closest thing to hell on Earth for some people; others were certain that the actual hell could not compare to working with Shego.

Still, her co-workers would rather be on her side than with the criminals. Law breakers got very little mercy when Shego was sent after them; she did not kill them and that was all. Almost every criminal that Shego chased ended up in the hospital; the only ones that avoided such a trip were the wise cowards that surrendered.

* * *

Kim parked herself against a wall; it was the dead of night. She figured that she would just catch a little nap before figuring out where to go next. She had only stayed with Josh the day and then went on with her wandering. He could not seem to grasp the concept of one favor for one favor. She would not have minded doing things for him if the favors went beyond his schoolwork and his desire that she sleep with him.

When she had left Josh's places, Wade had a couple of missions for her. So, she slept on her way to do those missions. But, now, she did not have anything to do and she did not want to bother anybody for what was supposed to be a short nap.

The redhead clutched her duffle bag tightly, even though she slept very lightly. She then drifted off to sleep right in the middle of the empty street. She was taken from her nap by a nudge. She opened her olive green eyes and noticed two things, one being that the sun was up and two being that there was a pair of uniformed police officers standing in front of her. Not a great way to start the day because she did not need to be a genius to figure out what was going on.

"Can we see some ID, miss?" one officer requested.

"Sorry, officer, but I don't have any," Kim confessed easily.

"Then you're going to have to come with us," he informed her.

Kim could not believe her luck; she had been awake all of eight seconds and she was already being arrested. Maybe she should have gone back and stayed with Josh, she considered as a joke.

* * *

Next time: Kim has now been arrested, so how does she get out of this jam? Has Shego really given up on her pet? And 'tis the season to make Shego do several things that she never would think to do.


	10. Problem Ten: Going home

Don't own the characters or the premise of this story.

Problem ten: Going home…

_What's the point in having a pet? What do they do? Nothing important. They're just annoying creatures. Yeah._

Shego rose in the morning like she did everyone for the past week or so, cursing her alarm clock and her need for the irksome device. She came very close to breaking it, but good sense held when her brain pointed out that without the clock, she would sleep until noon and end up getting fired. She turned the clock off like a normal person would after realizing that she sort of liked her job.

She took a shower and got dressed. She had some toast for breakfast because she did not feel like eating anything heavy; she had not been able to stomach much for a few days now. She then left for work, walking in the direction of the train station. She reminded herself to go hunting for a new car soon because she really could not stand taking the train every morning.

To get to the train station, Shego had to pass the precinct of regular police and she usually did not pay it any mind, but something caught her eye that day. She noticed two uniformed officers dragging a familiar redhead into the precinct. She shook her head; she actually could not believe what she was seeing.

"I'll be damned, the little moron is alive," Shego muttered. "Hey, you two!" she called to the two officers while walking over to them.

Kim smiled a bit when she saw Shego coming; she would have bet that she would have been embarrassed if anyone else caught her in such a situation, but not with Shego. It was a little odd to the teen how she did not feel sheepish about being caught in such a situation, but she did know that a scolding was going to come her way when things were over. At the moment, though, everything seemed all right to the redhead; she even thanked fate or whatever force it was that delivered her to Shego.

"Yes?" one of the officers replied.

"That girl you've got there is mine," Shego informed the pair; hey, it sounded right in her head. Even as it exited her mouth, it sounded like the right thing to say because that girl was hers.

"Yours?" they both asked.

"Well, my cousin," Shego amended her statement.

"So?"

"Oh, my fault. I forgot to mention that I'm special officer Shego," she told them with an attitude as she pulled her badge from her pants pocket.

"Ma'am!" both officers said and they straightened themselves up.

"So, how about releasing her into my custody," the raven-haired woman practically commanded.

"Sorry, ma'am, but she doesn't have any ID for us to confirm such a thing—"

Shego cut him off. "She left her wallet at my house. Are you calling me a liar?" she inquired.

"No, ma'am!"

"What the hell are you picking the moron up for anyway?" Shego inquired.

"This one's a vagrant."

"All right, you're going to hold her for vagrancy. That's about a day or two days in jail at most. Have fun with her because while you're doing that, I'm going to get my boss to crawl so far up your boss' ass that you'll think she's running an excavation up there. She'll make his life a living hell and he will, in turn, makes yours worse than that. Trust me on this one, I work for a real go-hard bitch," Shego promised them with a pleasant smile on her face.

The officers seemed to mill over the information. The green-skinned female was banking on her chief's reputation preceding her. The regular police did hear all sorts of things about the woman in charge of the special officers and they hated her guts more than they hated hearing there were no more donuts. It was just that she always seemed to take over a scene when she arrived and made the normal police seem like naïve children when it came to handling a crime. Shego only had to wait a moment.

"Sorry about this, ma'am," the officers both apologized and they released Kim.

"It's all right. You can't help it that my cousin's an idiot," Shego replied.

The police officers were not sure how to respond to that, so they did not. They marched into the precinct while Shego regarded Kim. She appeared to be all right; Shego was not sure why the girl looked fine, but she decided that she did not care. The redhead looked around for a second as if she was searching for something before turning her eyes toward her former owner.

"Thanks for that," Kim finally said. She was not sure what else she was supposed to say. Maybe she should apologize, she considered, but she decided against that. She was not about to say that she was sorry for something that they both enjoyed.

"You're so hopeless," Shego commented.

"It's a gift," the teen replied with an amused smile and a nonchalant shrug.

"I'll bet. Come on," Shego commanded.

"Where to?"

"Home. Where else?"

"Home?" Kim echoed.

"Yeah, home."

Kim trotted off behind Shego as she started down the block. They returned to the condo and the redhead climbed up to the loft to see that all of her things were right where she left them; Shego had not touched a thing. She looked down at the door as Shego closed it and started for work again.

"So, this is home?" Kim asked herself and then she looked around at everything. "Yeah, this is home."

--(New day)

Shego stared down at her pet, who was sleeping peacefully in her lap. She thought about a question that Betty had asked her earlier when she was at work; the one-eyed woman desired to know why Shego kept the girl around. She asked outright "what's the point of having a spoiled brat around the house that doesn't do anything?" Shego had not been able to answer, not without embarrassing herself anyway and she was not about to do that.

The green-skinned female had thought of several smart aleck answers to the question. Her first was to counter with the fact that people never asked why some schmuck kept a disgusting ball of fur of any kind like a dog, cat, or rodent, or some pointless fish or lizard that did not even do mindless tricks, or some noisy bird. The purpose of having a pet seemed to utterly pointless; a pet never really did anything no matter what kind of pet it was. Well, except for those helper monkeys or work dogs anyway. At least her pet was clean.

The raven-haired woman stroked her sleeping pet's soft red hair. Why did she keep the girl around? She had never asked herself such a question, but now she thought about it because she let it enter her mind. She thought a lot of people got pets because they had been denied one when they were children. Well, she had never been one of those kids that wanted a pet and her parents did not get her one.

Quite the contrary, she did not want a pet, but her parents had gotten her and her brothers all sorts of critters. She hated every pet that they ever had. As a child, she had seen more hamsters, gerbils, guinea pigs, rabbits, frogs, lizards, rats, mice, snakes, turtles, birds, spiders, ferrets, cats, and dogs than most vets see. Her brothers had an unbelievable knack for killing creatures, which she noticed early in life and she guessed that was why they had so many pets. She thought it would have been more humane of her parents to stop providing her brothers with victims after a while.

She understood why children got pets; they usually liked animals and had fun with them. Her brothers had sort of liked animals, in their own twisted ways. They had fun with them and they tended to give their pets decent burials; except for when a rodent bit the dust and they happened to have a snake in the house too.

She always thought that when adults got pets it was because they were lonely and needed something to put meaning into their lives, but they were too much of losers to go out and make some friends. Well, she did not think that anymore because she was certain that she was not lonely. She was not social, sure, but she was not lonely. She was not a loser either, she told herself.

"So, what do I keep you around for?" Shego wondered.

The older woman just could not fully answer the question, not for herself anyway. She could always tell herself that she kept Kim around for the girl's own safety. Kim was too dependent to make it out in the real world, she figured. But, that did not explain why she kept the girl; it only explained why the teen stayed.

It was not like Kim could do anything special or entertaining. She scared easier than a three-year-old, she was barely smart enough to operate the sink, and she was completely and utterly dependent on Shego for almost everything. Look at what happened to her just from being on her own for a few days; she had been picked up for being a vagrant. She was nothing more than a bothersome brat.

"You're such a lost cause," Shego whispered into her pet's ear before kissing her cheek. "But, you're my lost cause."

Kim purred in her sleep as if she was aware of the affection bestowed upon her.

* * *

Shego was not the only one with curious friends. Kim's friends were just as curious, if not more so, as to why she was willing to be a person's pet. No matter how many times she explained it, they could still not grasp why such a thing was not demeaning. She was the Kim Possible after all. She was a human being.

"I don't get why you stay with her, Kim. It just doesn't make any sense," Monique commented. Their usual crew of four was hanging out; if Rufus was counted then there were five of them. They were sitting in a booth at Bueno Nacho.

"Why do you say that? It makes perfect sense to me," Kim replied, which earned her looks of disbelief from everyone, including Rufus.

"The genius has crossed over," Ron teased.

"Yeah, that line, she's all over that insanity side of it now," Monique concurred.

"How in hell does it make sense to you? As sadistic as your owner sounds, I'm surprised you're not chained to a wall in her apartment," the blonde commented.

"Or in a hole in the basement," Monique added.

"It puts the lotion on its skin (1)," Ron remarked in a gruff tone, which caused him and Monique to start dying of laughter.

"I feel I have missed the joke," Yori stated while looking at her amused boyfriend.

"We have got to catch Yori up in movies because that was damn funny," Monique said.

"You guys are taking this way overboard. Shego isn't sadistic," Kim argued.

"Girl, she threatens to set you on fire when you sleep in her bed," the chocolate-eyed female pointed out.

"But, she never actually acts on the threat. I read between the lines with her. I look at her actions and I don't listen to her words. She threatens me all the time, but she never hit me, except that one time and it was a regular punch. A good regular punch, but a regular punch nonetheless," the redhead argued.

The hit that she was referring to could have been a lot worse. She could have walked away with scorch marks on her cheek or worse, she might not have walked away at all. She would yield that she might have offended her master, but the older woman obviously cared somewhat because she had not taken Kim's head off for her actions.

"Why the hell did you kiss her anyway? What were you thinking?" Ron inquired. It seemed to him like Kim wanted to get set on fire if the woman hated Kim sleeping in her bed, of course she did not desire to be kissed by the teen hero. It sounded logical enough to him.

"I was feeling really good and she wasn't. I wanted her to feel better," Kim answered. Besides, she had not under any obligation to not do what she wanted since she was on her own time.

"By sticking your tongue in her mouth? You knew that wouldn't help," Monique argued.

"It helped for like a second. She kissed me back. She opened up to me, like she always does. She let down the shield for a couple of seconds. You guys don't know Shego. She's not really mean to me and she needs me around. She knows she does, she just doesn't want to admit to herself. Without me, she caves in on herself from all the tension and stress. If she didn't need me, she wouldn't have let me back in the house," Kim explained.

"You know, I hate when you try to prove something by saying because of 'a' to 'b' that equals 'c'," Ron said.

"Um…Ron, it's called logic," his best friend replied.

"Kim, are you looking at this as one long mission?" Yori asked because it sounded like the redhead was staying to be of assistance to the older woman just like she helped everyone else.

"No, I don't look at it that way. She needs me, so I stay. It's not a mystery to me," Kim answered with a shrug.

"Why does this woman need you, though?" the ninja inquired.

"I take the burden off of her. She would lock herself in her image and she wouldn't be happy by trying to be that way all of the time. I take the edge off," the redhead stated.

"But, why you?" Yori asked. She could understand that Shego had an image that she wanted to uphold and that image forced her to act a certain way all of the time, adding on pressure over time. But, why was it that the image did not continue on when she was with Kim? Why did she relax around Kim?

"She won't show herself to anyone else," the hero replied.

"But, why will she show you?" Monique clarified the question.

"Well, because I'm not human," Kim answered with a shrug.

"What?" they all asked and that included Rufus. She looked close enough to a human from where they were sitting.

"To her, I'm not human, so it's safe to act how she really wants to when I'm around. She can do all of the things in front of me that she won't do when other people are around. She can watch sappy movies, cuddle me, smile, laugh, and not be the tough-as-nails bitch that everyone else expects because I'm just a pet. I'm not a person, I'm a pet. You wouldn't act the way you do in public if no one was around except for a cat, would you?" Kim countered, hoping that explained it.

"But, you're not a cat," Yori pointed out.

"Yeah, definitely not a cat," Ron concurred.

"Even if you keep wearing those ridiculous ears," Monique added while motioning to the costume black ears that Kim was sporting on the top of her head; she was leaving the house with them more often than not lately.

"To Shego, I'm the equivalent of a cat. It makes things easier for her," Kim explained with a shrug.

"And you?" Monique asked.

"I get two cooked meals a day, spanking meals at that, a comfortable place to lay my head, a warm place to sleep, and to help someone out. I'm loving the experience," Kim declared with a grin.

The friends laughed a bit; they should have guessed that she would say something like that. Kim acted like life was an RPG sometimes like she needed experience points to level up, they all thought. Kim the adventurer, that was who she was and, boy, was she having some adventure. She was such a Possible, they all thought as a joke.

--(New day)

"Princess, what exactly do you think you're doing?" Shego inquired as she came into the apartment to see one of the last sights that she wanted to, which were decorations for the holiday season. She thought that she would be escaping the holiday madness once she got home; leave it to her imbecilic pet to ruin her sanctuary.

"Putting up Christmas decorations, duh," Kim answered as she continued on with her self-appointed task of getting the place ready for Christmas.

"What makes you think we celebrate Christmas in this house?" Shego asked in a tone that her teen usually would have acknowledged that she upset her owner, but at the moment, it seemed that Kim had selective hearing.

"Are you Jewish? I could take this stuff down and then go ask Ron what to put up…." Kim started to muse out loud.

"I'm not Jewish," Shego assured her pet.

"Okay…then what's the problem?" Kim asked because she was not following. She was going to venture one more guess on a holiday that Shego might celebrate, but the older woman did not appear to be of African descent, so she decided against wasting the guess.

"There's no Christmas in this house," Shego informed the redhead.

"Why not?" Kim whined. She should have guessed that her owner was a scrooge.

"Because I said so."

"Why?" Kim whimpered.

Shego did not respond, so Kim went into full, all out tantrum mode. She threw herself on the carpet and started kicking like a child. She also pounded the carpet with her fists and made an irksome noise that almost sounded like she was crying, but Shego knew it was just a ploy to irritate her.

"I just told you the reason," Shego replied coolly.

Kim sat up and puffed out her cheeks, but that did not do anything either. Shego walked off, but that did not stop her pet from going about her business of preparing the house for Christmas. She even purchased a small tree because it was going to be Christmas in the apartment if she had to kick, scream, and possibly suffer second degree burns. There was a knock at the door while she set about decorating the tree.

"Ah, who the hell is that? Pumpkin, get the door!" Shego ordered from her bedroom.

"Gotcha!" Kim saluted before realizing that her owner was not even around to see.

The redhead climbed to her feet and marched to the door. She opened it without asking who it was because if it was not one of the two people that usually came to the house, she still did not care. It was not like she could not take down anybody trying to harm her. It turned out to be one of the two people that usually visit; it was Drakken.

"Happy holidays," the powder blue-skinned scientist greeted her with a puzzled smile.

"Happy holidays," she replied. She could tell that he was not expecting her to answer the door just from the bewildered look in his beady little onyx eyes.

"You're staying with Shego for some school holiday?" he asked curiously.

"Yeah, sure. Whatever," Kim replied with a shrug, showing that Shego was obviously rubbing off on her. Like owner, like pet, she thought with a small smile.

"Where is Shego?"

"In her room. She should be out in a little while."

"All right."

Kim went back to her mini-Christmas tree. She had to be careful with the ornaments because some of the things were too big for her little tree. She ignored Drakken as he looked around at the work she had done.

"It looks like Christmas in here," the guy commented.

"Boy, nothing gets by him," Kim muttered to herself. "That's the point," she informed him.

"But, Shego doesn't celebrate Christmas," Drakken pointed out.

"She'll celebrate this year, whether she likes it or not," Kim declared with a smile on her face. She was actually impressed that he knew her mistress did not celebrate Christmas.

Drakken did not argue and did not make another attempt to speak with the redhead. Kim heard the door to her mistress' room open and then turned to look in the direction that Shego was coming from. The super-powered woman came to the archway that led to the living room and ended up standing next to Drakken.

"What are you doing here?" Shego asked the scientist.

"I just came by to keep you company for a while," Drakken answered. Aw, that was sweet, Kim thought.

"You should've called first," Shego stated.

The redhead decided to interject at that moment and save the man for doing a nice thing. "Hey, you two," the teen called.

"What?" Shego barked.

Kim smirked. "Look up," she instructed them while pointing above the couple's heads. They turned their eyes upward to see what she was going on about and saw they had stepped into a trap.

"No fucking way," the raven-haired woman muttered when she noticed the strategically placed mistletoe.

Kim grinned like a demon while Shego and Drakken looked at each other after giving the mistletoe a few moments of appropriate gawking. The couple then looked over at the teen, who appeared rather proud of herself; Shego could not guess the reason as to why her pet would look so especially pleased with her work. They then turned their attention back to each other.

"Well, it's a Christmas tradition," Drakken mumbled, which caused Kim to suck her teeth.

The redhead could not believe that he would even think such a thing, let alone say it out loud, especially with his girlfriend standing right there. Was he really that much of a maniac, she wondered. Did the man just not know how to cut loose? Now, he was making it seem like he was obligated to kiss Shego instead of doing it for the sheer pleasure of touching her lips. Just when she had been ready to give the man some cool points, he had to go and muck it up.

"Hey, don't do me any favors. I don't even celebrate," Shego told Drakken.

"Will you two just kiss already. It's bad luck if you don't," Kim informed the pair. She was not sure if she was making that up or not, she did not care as long as it got the two to make their holiday special.

"And why are you trying to be so helpful?" Shego asked with a suspicious look in her emerald eyes.

"It'll make you happy," the redhead replied easily.

Shego rolled her eyes; she did not want to believe that her selfish pet would be so selfless as to assist her in getting something from Drakken. After all, she was aware of what the teen thought of her. Would Kim really try to help her just because it would make her happy? She was not sure.

She decided to stop thinking about her pet's motives and she turned her attention back to the scientist, who glanced away for a moment. The cerulean inventor turned back to his girlfriend and then he leaned in to give Shego a rather awkward kiss, in both females' opinions. It was not so much a kiss as a disgusting looking mess of a peck; apparently, he did not know how to cut loose, Kim thought.

The teen was not sure if she had ever seen a person look so uncomfortable while doing something not only voluntarily, but that was delightful; after all, Kim knew firsthand what a pleasure it was to kiss Shego. Drakken did not attempt to make the kiss deeper or more passionate than what it started as, not that it had much momentum in either area. He pulled away after about five seconds, if it was even that long. Kim could not understand it; she knew if she was in his place, she would have stayed there until she seriously required air.

Shego rolled her eyes when Drakken pulled away. It was actually one of his better kisses and she noted that he appeared to be slightly proud of himself. She could not guess why he was proud, except for the fact that he did not run away screaming like a scared little girl. She then looked at Kim, who smiled and shrugged.

"Fine, we'll celebrate the stupid holiday," Shego proclaimed with a huff.

"Slamming!" Kim cheered.

* * *

Shego cooked a meal for the trio. It was not very decked out, but it was enough for them. They sat down and ate dinner in silence for a little while before Kim made the mistake of asking Drakken about what he was working on lately. Shego wanted her neck to swallow her head or Drakken's neck to swallow his head, whichever happened first just to escape the rant that was impending. Kim was sorry she asked after about five minutes of him going on without letting anyone else say anything.

"Sounds complex," Kim noted once the scientist was done going on about the great weapon that he was constructing for the Go City police department.

"Well, yes, I wouldn't expect a kid to get it," Drakken replied in a rather flippant way that caused Kim to arch an eyebrow.

Inside of the teen's mind two entities rose to do battle with each other; it was a frequent occurrence in her head. Part of her, the Possible entity, was telling her to shut him down completely by explaining his little toy away in such complicated language that he would not even know that she was ripping into him. The other combatant was the wanderer part of her, the mellow part, the modest part, and it was telling her that it was no big. His opinion did not matter. Who was he, after all? Just some absentminded inventor with emotional problems that did not even know how to kiss right. It would be beneath her to start with him and it would be annoying. Yes, yes it would be annoying, she decided and she did not say anything to the scientist. The Possible in her had been losing a lot of the conflicts against the wanderer lately.

"A lot of the time, Shego doesn't get my genius either," Drakken commented.

"Yeah, where the genius part comes in," Shego remarked.

"So, Mister Drakken, did you get Shego anything for the holidays?" Kim asked while wondering how in the hell the three of them and their huge ass egos fit in the house together; they had to be defying some fundamental rule of physics.

"I was going to get her flowers," he answered.

"Yeah, because that's what I need right now, more shit that will just die," Shego mumbled. If she wanted dead things around the house, she would just kill her pet, she thought to amuse herself. She probably would not even notice the difference because her pet was in dead sleep most of the time anyway.

"Yeah, she doesn't like flowers," the redhead mused. She thought that would be a rather cheesy Christmas gift anyway. Christmas gifts were supposed to be grand things in her opinion, especially if it was only one gift. It had to be very meaningful.

"I know that—" he tried to continue, but Kim was in the mood to be a brat.

"So, you didn't get her anything?" the teen asked to be sure.

"I got her something," Drakken insisted with just a bit too much conviction.

"Really? What?" Shego inquired in an intrigued tone.

"Something nice!" he persisted.

"More like something imaginary," the officer remarked.

"I did buy you something," he promised.

"Then where is it?" she asked just to see him flustered. Hey, her pet started it, but now she was entertained.

"I…uh…I left it home!" he proclaimed.

Shego rolled her eyes. "Oh, yeah, that's so believable."

"I'll bring it by tomorrow," he vowed.

* * *

Shego walked Drakken to the door and bid him goodnight, thankfully. She sighed as she shut the door and then glanced up at the loft area, where her pet had retired to over an hour ago. She had a notion to go bug her pet and wake her up, just to be mean, but decided against it; her Christmas gift to the girl.

The raven-haired woman turned to go to her room and as she passed the living room, she noticed something sitting on the floor. At first she thought it was a trap of some kind that was set up by her annoying pet, but then she realized that if anybody was going to pull a prank on someone else in the house, she would be the one to do it to Kim. She bent down see what was on the floor.

"What the hell?" Shego muttered as she picked up a box that was wrapped in green foil. There was a white paper rose on the top of it. Then suddenly she felt a weight against her back.

"There one's flower that won't die, just like how I feel about you," Kim informed the older woman. She was pressing herself into the older woman's shoulder, nuzzling her cheek into Shego.

"Pumpkin…" Shego was not sure what to say, but Kim kept going anyway. She was not sure if she had ever in her life got a gift that someone put some thought into how she would feel about it and that was just a paper flower. She could only wonder what was in the box.

"And just because you don't like Christmas doesn't mean I didn't have to get you anything."

"Princess…"

"I really like being with you and I want you to know that always and forever."

"Pumpkin."

"Yes?"

"Look up," Shego commanded.

Kim glanced up to see that they were underneath the mistletoe. She laughed a little bit while turning back to Shego, who kissed Kim without hesitating. Kim was surprised for only a moment before just welcoming the affection and enchanting sensation. She was glad that she stayed up.

* * *

(1)- Ron's line comes from the great movie "Silence of the Lambs."

Next time: After such a merry Christmas, how can New Years go so horribly wrong?


	11. Problem Eleven: Having a happy New Year

Still don't own the characters and don't own the premise of this story. The characters go to Disney and the premise goes to Yayoi Ogawa, the creator of "Tramps like Us."

A/N: If anybody's curious, the holiday that Kim was alluding to in the last chapter about Shego not celebrating it because she did not appear to be of African decent was Kwanzaa. It's actually an African-American holiday. It starts December 26th and ends January 1st, which is also my b-day if anybody cares.

Problem eleven: Having a happy New Year…

_A pet's role in life, bringing comfort and support to its master when beaconed. What happens when the pet fails to do that? Is it really a pet's responsibility to save her master from herself?_

Kim sat up in her loft space with her back against the wall; she had a great night, followed by a pleasant sleep with wonderful dreams, but then she woke up into reality. She sighed as she stared at her Kimmunicator's black screen. She had to do it, she told herself. It just would not be right if she did not, so she did it; she called home. It was only right considering what day it was.

Her problem was that she did not want to call and have to go through an inquisition. She was not sure if she would be bothered about the subject that she hated, but there was a chance that one of her parents might bring it up. Still, she had to make that call or they might think that something happened to her. Besides, there was always the chance that they would not bring up the topic or if they did, they would listen when she informed them that she did not wish to talk about it.

"Kimmie," her mother's voice came through to Kimmunicator; her tone was clearly joyful because she was finally hearing from her wandering daughter.

"Hey, Mom. Merry Christmas," Kim said.

"Merry Christmas to you too. It's been so long. How are you doing?" her mother inquired with motherly concern that Kim had not known until that moment that she missed very much. She missed her family, of course, but she did not think about how she missed the little things until just then.

"I'm doing good. How's everybody?" the girl asked.

"Well, everyone opened their gifts already, so your father and the boys are now messing around with a chemistry set that he bought them. If they start another fire or cause another explosion, they're going to have to take it outside," her mother replied in a serious tone.

"Well, I hope they've got their coats on," Kim remarked.

"We bought you things too, hoping that you'd at least come home for Christmas."

"Sorry about that, Mom."

"It's all right. So, Kimmie, how have you been? Everything all right?"

"Everything is totally fine," Kim tried to assure her mother. She knew that it was really the only answer she could ever give, even if it was not the truth. If she told her mother anything else, the woman would worry herself sick or even come looking for Kim. At least she was telling the truth; she felt that everything was completely, totally, and utterly fine for once and she was sure that if she remained right where she was, she would always be that way.

"What have you been up to?"

"Same old things, you know. Rescue people here, stop a megalomaniac there," the teen answered in a trivial voice.

"Any chance of you coming home soon?" her mother asked in a hopeful tone.

"I'm still trying to straighten out my head, Mom. It's nothing against you or Dad."

"I didn't say it was."

"And I don't want you to think it is," the daughter stated. "It's completely on me and I haven't figured it out yet."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Oh…okay," her mother muttered and there was a moment of silence. "Do you want to talk about anything?" she asked.

"I just want to talk to you. It doesn't have to be about something. I just want to talk for a little while, okay?" the hero said. It had been so long since she spoke with her family and she did not want it to be turned into something irksome by talking about something that she just did not desire to discuss.

"Okay," her mother concurred.

Kim spoke with her mother for a while before her father got on the line. Her brothers yelled something that sounded like "Merry Christmas" while she was on the phone with her father. She laughed; yeah, it was a merry Christmas. She was thankful for that.

--(New Day)

Kim was with her friends, sitting at Bueno Nacho; only one of them was actually eating the restaurant food. They were supposed to be bouncing ideas off of each other as to what they were going to do for New Years Eve. Ron was too busy seeing how many nachos he could find in mouth to be a factor for the moment; of course, he would be the one among them that was eating.

"All right, guys, I suggest we go out and get drunk. And I don't mean our usual a little tipsy drunk. I mean drunk," Monique suggested. Kim and Yori appeared rather skeptical to the scheme.

"It's weird for you to even think of that, Monique. Out of all of us, you hold your liquor the best. We'd even trust you to drive after a party if we weren't so sure that your driving drunk would be an improvement," Kim remarked.

"Hey, I can drive," Monique argued.

"No, you have a license that makes it legal to call what you do behind a wheel driving," the redhead commented.

"It's driving," Monique insisted.

"Is it also driving when we're in bumper cars?" Yori pointed out.

"Thank you for the backup," Kim said to the ninja.

Yori only smiled slightly. She was not usually one for teasing, but sometimes she was dragged into the fun because it was, well, fun and she liked to include herself in the banter at times. She was comfortable enough with the other two girls to taunt them if given the chance and they took it for just what it was, some friendly mocking, which just made her more comfortable around them.

"Question, when you say drunk, do you mean 'throw-up' drunk or 'pass out' drunk?" Ron inquired. Of course he would be the one that wanted clarification on the term "drunk," even though he knew that none of them were drinkers, himself included.

"Why are we even having this discussion now that I think about it? What's to discuss? This is what's going to happen, we're going to go to this party, but by the time the ball drops, none of us will even care," Kim commented.

"I'm not following you, K.P," Ron said.

"Yeah, you lost me too, girl," Monique concurred.

"I feared that it was only I who was lost," Yori added.

"It's simple when you think about our modus operandi," the hero said.

"Our what now?" the blonde boy asked.

"She means the way we work," Monique clarified for the ever-lost Stoppable.

"By midnight, Yori and Ron will be gone. They'll be hyped up on the New Years spirit and the trace amounts of alcohol that will be flowing through their systems, which will lead them to exactly where they want to be. We have seen that happen before. Monique, you will have found a guy that is tall, hairless, and has a tongue stud, as you do almost every party. I'll have gone home by then because the alcohol will have messed with my mind enough for me to believe that I might actually get some cuddle time because that will be want I'm looking for," Kim explained.

"She's doing that 'a' to 'b' thing again," Ron complained.

"I'm just going with what I've learned," the redhead pointed out.

"You're just acting like a Possible by using scientific examples while we're trying to plan some fun," Monique argued and Kim made a face at her, obviously a tad offended by her friend's words. The fashion queen waved Kim off to dismiss the insulted girl.

"Wait, didn't you find a guy the last time we partied on New Years?" Ron asked his oldest friend.

"She did. Tall, hairless, and he had a tongue stud if I recall," the African-American girl commented with a slight smirk.

"It was just because your guy had a friend," Kim argued.

"Doesn't excuse the fact that you left with him," the hazel-eyed female pointed out.

"You know, now that I think about it, Monique, you and Kim have the same tastes. Maybe you really should go find a girl," Ron suggested.

"I can see why this 'a' to 'b' thing bothers the boy, he doesn't do it well," Monique quipped, glancing at Kim.

"Math never was his best subject," Kim added.

"Kim and I only have the same taste when it comes to men. Kim is on her own when venturing to the same gender. Quite frankly, I want to be the center of attention in the relationship. Two girls is one too many divas," Monique remarked.

"I do not understand the appeal," Yori said.

"Well, to even the score, we don't really understand why you date that," Monique teased while pointing to Ron, who was back to stuffing his face full of nachos.

"I hope you never do," the ninja replied with secretive smile.

"Mo, you so don't want to walk that path with Yori," Kim informed her friend. Monique knew a little something about how Ron and Yori were, but she did not have the memories, which Kim really wished she could repress, about the couple when they were at home.

"Well, look, Kim, if three-fourths of your prediction comes true, that's all well and good. It still makes for a happy New Year. But, you're not going home to a probable snuggle. You will find a tall, relatively hairless guy that is pierced somewhere, preferably his tongue," Monique playfully commanded.

"When are you going to get over the piercing thing?" Ron asked.

"When—" Monique started to answer the question, but Kim cut in.

"Trust me, Ron, you so don't want to go there, especially while you're eating," the redhead assured the boy.

"So, are we still unclear as to what we are doing for New Years?" Yori asked just to be sure that she had not missed something.

"No clue," the others answered.

* * *

"So, do you have plans for New Years?" Betty asked Shego. They were sitting in her office going over an assignment that Shego had just gone on.

If Shego hated one thing about the holidays, it was that every lunatic that had been dormant the whole year decided to wake to share with the rest of the world the insanity lurking in the vacant lots that they called brains. She did not understand why that was, but she usually blamed it on too much eggnog; she was fairly certain that anything that was sold only at a certain time of year was probably poisonous. So, her theory went that eggnog turned probable maniacs into actual, yet fairly incompetent, maniacs.

In the past couple of days, the pale woman had personally ruined half a dozen plots to bring the city to its knees for whatever reasons and over a dozen plots that seemed to just be stupid as far as she could tell. Hey, when a person built a device to cover the city in vanilla pudding that was just stupid, plain and simple. Plain, simple, not to mention extremely annoying.

"Not what you're thinking," Shego replied to her friend's question about her plans for bringing in the New Year.

"No? No attempt to jump in the sack with Drakken?" Betty inquired as if she was shocked.

"None whatsoever," Shego answered truthfully.

"Then what do you plan on doing?"

"Nothing special. Clean up around the house or something. Watch some TV and maybe watch Princess do a puzzle."

"Watch her do a puzzle?" the one-eyed woman echoed in a bemused tone.

"Yeah, I just found out that she likes doing puzzles, ones with really little pieces," the green-skinned female replied. She had treated her little monster to a couple of gifts for no reason, she insisted because she refused to say that they were Christmas gifts, and Kim requested puzzles.

"And you watch her do puzzles?" Betty asked incredulously.

"Nothing better to do," Shego answered with a shrug. She had only watched once, but she would not mind doing it again. It was not like it was the worst thing that she ever had to sit through.

"You could at least go out. It might help you feel better."

"I'm all right. I don't feel like going out. I just want to stay in with my pet and relax a bit," the younger woman stated.

"You do realize that something's wrong with you, right?"

"Of course," Shego agreed like it was nothing.

Betty wanted to point out that her friend was acting very bizarre, but she decided against it. Shego usually went out club-hopping on New Years Eve; she would get drunk and wake up next to some strange man that she would never meet again barring any cosmic jokes. The one-eyed woman could see where Shego might want to avoid that last part, but that did not explain all of her plan.

"Are you at least going to invite Drakken over?" Betty asked.

"Might as well. That's what a good girlfriend would do, right?" Shego countered in an indifferent tone.

"I'm guessing," Doctor Director replied sarcastically.

"Yeah, the brat didn't seem too offend by his obnoxious behavior. I guess he could come over."

"What you see in such pathetic creatures, I'll never know."

"Lucky you," Shego remarked dryly.

* * *

Shego went home and discovered Kim laid out on the sofa like a corpse. She was glad the teen was sleeping so hard and that way, she did not have to get mugged, also known as hugged. Shego decided to mess with the girl just a little bit and tickled her cheek with her red hair. Kim muttered and swatted at her mistress without waking up. After doing the same thing a few more times, the novelty wore off and Shego was no longer amused with taunting the sleeping girl.

The raven-haired woman went about her business of getting comfortable. The fact that ninety-nine percent of the time when Shego came in Kim was home, either hugging her or sleeping on the sofa, was why Shego assumed that Kim would be home on New Years Eve. Shego forgot that she was never supposed to assume anything, but Kim reminded her.

"What kind of pet is she? She's supposed to be home, so I can rub her head and listen to her purr in her sleep! How in the hell am I supposed to relax now?" Shego huffed as she entered the apartment after another long day of work to discover that the place was empty.

Kim had gone to Ron and Yori's place. The friends agreed that they were just going to spend New Year together, at least for the first few minutes and then it was every man for himself, so to speak. The plan was to spend at least five minutes of the new year together before Ron and Yori had to kick Kim and Monique out, not that they were going to need any coaxing in leaving.

They were going to invite a couple of other friends over, but they had plans already. So, it was the four of them, plus Rufus. They bought some liquor, even though none of them were really drinkers, except for when they were at parties. They did not consider their get together a real party. They ordered a couple of pizzas, even though Ron begged for Bueno Nacho. They played cards and charades for the whole night.

* * *

Shego called Drakken and invited him over because she really did not have anything better to do; besides, it was decidedly what a good girlfriend would do. She cooked for lack of a better thing to do also and even went out to purchase some champagne; she bought a lot of champagne just in case he wanted to rant and she would be able to stomach him while he went on about whatever was on his mind. By the time the cerulean-skinned scientist arrived, dinner was ready.

"Did your cousin go home?" Drakken asked curiously as he looked around the apartment and noticed that they were alone for once.

"I'm not sure my cousin has a home," Shego remarked. She honestly did not know if her pet had a home or not. She was banking that the girl was homeless before she came across the little urchin.

"No? You know, I meant to ask you about something. When I came back here and was at the station, DNAmy was telling me that you have a cat, yet I haven't seen it," he pointed out.

Well, that explained what he was always searching for when he came over, Shego commented to herself. She thought that he had been scanning to see if they were alone or not whenever he came over and started looking around. She wondered who else DNAmy blabbed to that she kept a cat. At least it was an easy lie to get out of.

"I did have one, but my moron cousin left the door open one day and the damn cat ran away," Shego informed him.

"Yeah, that cousin of yours doesn't seem too bright…" he muttered. "You know, I never knew you liked cats," he commented.

"I tried, but it didn't work out."

"Oh, so you didn't like the cat?"

"No, I didn't."

"Then why'd you have it?"

Again with that inquiry, she silently huffed; she was sick of hearing questions as to why she had a pet. What was with Drakken and the questions all of a sudden anyway? Why couldn't he just accept that she had a cat that she did not like and it ran away one day? It was a logical enough lie, extremely plausible since cats ran away every day, and it was really simple. Why was he trying to complicate the matter with details? Then she recalled who the man was; he loved the complex. It was like he could not grasp a concept unless it had about a million details to it.

"I felt sorry for the thing," Shego replied as to why she had a pet that she did not like.

"Why?" Drakken inquired.

"Because I found it outside my house, injured and alone. Okay?" she practically barked in frustrated tone that he was all too familiar with.

"All right, Shego, all right," he concurred to appease her.

The couple sat down and ate a civil dinner, which surprised the both of them. He did not get on her nerves by rambling about some ray gun that she did not care about, which meant that he did not have to put up with her snapping wit. It worked out for both of them; they wondered if it was a one-time thing or if it would happen more often.

They had a few glasses of champagne before it was clear that Drakken could not handle it; big surprise there, Shego thought sarcastically. She did not think that it was humanly possible to get tipsy from two glasses, but he had to go and prove her wrong. At first, Drakken was not a happy drunk. He went through just about every emotion but happiness in under a minute as he continued drinking. It eventually got on Shego's nerves, so she started handing him even more drinks with the hope that he would just pass out sooner or later.

After a while, the inventor's disposition did get more cheery as the drinks kept coming. But, by that time, Shego was a bit smashed herself, having downed one bottle of champagne on her own. He had two bottles before a smile appeared on his face, even thought it was a lopsided smile, but it was a smile nonetheless.

"You know, Shego…You know what…You know what…" Drakken said.

"If you'd tell me, I would," she replied.

"Right. You know…You know…I like you."

"No, really?" she asked and being a bit off of her usual game, it did not come out the least bit sarcastic.

"I do. I really do. I mean, you're snippy most of the time and mean-spirited, but you're good company and I know you care. I mean, if you didn't care, we wouldn't be together. You go places with me when no one else does and half the time you actually listen to what comes out of my mouth. I…I appreciate it…I really do," he informed her while trying his best to grip his glass and finish off the drink inside of it.

"Then why won't you do me?" she asked. She tried to stop the question, but it would seem that her brain was just a bit a slower than her mouth. Well, it was out there, so she could at least come to understand why they had not been intimate yet.

"Do you?" he echoed with a goofy bewildered expression on his face.

"Screw me," she clarified; she figured that she might as well get a reason while she had an excuse to do so and he was running his mouth about something else other than one of his inventions.

"What?"

Shego sighed; he was killing her buzz by not being as up on street vernacular as he pretended. She decided to just try to murder the evening before he got any more annoying. She leaned into Drakken, usually he went rigid from contact in general, but he did not that time. She thought was a good sign. She began to plant soft, small, wet kisses along his jaw and he did not pull away; that had to be a very good sign, she decided.

"Shego, what are you—" Drakken's question was cut off because she claimed his mouth with her own. She kissed him long and deep.

"If you're going to run, now's the time," she informed him once she pulled away from the heated embrace.

Drakken seemed to consider his options and then remained firmly planted in his seat. Shego smirked and began tearing at his clothes along with hers while kissing him again. She could not get them undressed fast enough in her opinion.

* * *

Kim came into the apartment, figuring that she would have the place to herself because Shego seemed like the type that would party long and hard on New Years Eve. She shut the door and noticed two things; there was a trail of clothes going from the living room to her mistress' bedroom and she smelled cigarette smoke in the air.

"So, that's what the cigarettes are for," Kim muttered as she climbed to her loft space. She stared at the ceiling for a moment. "Guess I'll be sleeping alone tonight. Maybe I should've gone out with Mo and partied."

Kim changed into some pajamas and flopped down into her bed. She rolled over onto her stomach and then back onto her back. She continued to eye the ceiling as if it would give her answers to questions that she did not even want to ask. She sighed; her mistress was probably incredibly happy now.

* * *

Shego was sitting up in her bed, smoking her third cigarette of the night. She heard her pet come in, but she did not think anything of it. She glanced to her side where Drakken was sleeping; he was on her side of the bed. He had the cover bunched together like it was a stuffed animal, his thumb was in his mouth, and he was snoring. She frowned while thinking about how she should have just spent New Years Eve alone.

* * *

Next time: Shego has slept with Drakken and Kim knows that, so what now? Kim thinks her mistress is very happy now, does that mean she's no longer needed? And Shego just got exactly what she wanted, what's she frowning about? And just what in the hell isDoctor Director doing challenging Shego to a fight!


	12. Problem Twelve: Getting what you want

Still don't own any of these characters and still don't own the premise.

Problem twelve: Getting what you want…

_The good thing about having a pet would be being able to tell a pet anything. A pet can't judge you and even if it does, you don't know what the pet is thinking and the pet doesn't speak human. A pet is a cheap therapist in that sense._

Kim peered over the edge of her loft space as she was taken from her sleep by the sound of grumbling. She watched Drakken gathering his clothes and wished that she had been struck blind at that very moment. There were just some sights that a girl did not need to see upon just waking up, a sky-colored ass covered in tight-y whiteys was at the top if that list; it brought new horror to being mooned. She flung herself back onto her mattress and threw her pillow over her head while trying to will the image of Drakken's big, blue butt to go away.

"You're not going to help your hangover by mumbling," Shego commented, speaking to the noisy inventor. She was clothed in a short grass green robe and holding two mugs of coffee. She handed one cup to the scientist. "Besides, you might wake up my p…cousin," she corrected herself.

"She's here again?" he asked as if he was irked by her presence alone; he had not even seen her yet. He was really wondering why that girl did not go home sometimes. It seemed like every time that he came over her cousin was there too.

"She came in last night while you were legally dead," she informed him. She could not understand how someone could sleep so hard, except for her lazy pet anyway.

"Why doesn't she just go home?"

"I'm sure she's thinking the same of you."

"And why didn't you tell me you had a cousin?"

"I don't know. Why didn't you tell me you suck your thumb?" she countered. If he wanted to go blow for blow, she could do it all day. Hell, she would even call in sick to work just to keep busting his chops because it just might make her feel a little better about everything.

"It was only that one time!" he retorted.

"Oh, you mean last night?"

"You can be very mean-spirited, you know that?"

"I go with my strengths," she remarked with a slight shrug.

"I thought you'd have a little more respect for me after last night," he declared as if he had done something last night.

Shego fought with herself to not laugh outright, but she did roll her eyes; it seemed like a must to do so in such a situation. If he was as smart as he thought he was, then he would never bring up last night for the rest of their natural lives. Some tragedies just needed to stay dead and buried, last night definitely was one of those things, Shego believed anyway. It seemed that he would like to argue over the matter, but she could not even bring herself to be so evil as to burst his bubble, much to her surprise.

* * *

Kim listened as the couple went back and forth until they left to go to work. She groaned while rolling over; it seemed that blue-skinned dolt did not make her mistress happy like he was supposed to. She sighed; she was going to have to stick around for a while longer it would seem. Not that she was going to complain or anything.

"And to think, I was going to leave today, but Shego is just as cranky as ever. Is he really that out of his damn mind?" Kim wondered.

The redhead got a couple more hours of sleep before duty called and familiar beeping interrupted her comfortable rest. She got the low down from Wade as to what she was needed for. She then grabbed a shower and left to do the hero thing.

To Kim, one of the best things about being a hero, aside for helping people, was the free falling. She loved to free fall, mostly because there was really only one way to go and that would be straight down. In free falling, there was no decision to be made, no arguing; she just had to go down as the laws of gravity demanded. Sure, she could delay it and move around, but in the end, she still had to go down and that was great as far as she was concerned.

"Hey, Kim, how was your New Years?" Wade inquired as the redhead dived out of a plane without a problem.

"It was okay. What about yours? You went to a party?" she teased.

"On line," he replied with a laugh.

"Same old Wade no matter how old we get."

"Look who's talking."

"Got me there," Kim laughed.

* * *

Shego was thankful to take her mind off of everything by having an assignment waiting for her when she got to work. She was sent after a ninja; what the ninja was doing out in broad daylight was beyond her. She did admit that no one saw the ninja coming; a person that dealt in stealth doing a robbery in daylight was so random that the guy almost got away. Almost being the keyword because Shego was not going to let up since it was her assignment and she quickly found out why he was given to her; he was skillful and about couple of abilities that the regular police did not want to mess with. She did not care what he could do and now they were currently running all over the city, having short, but hard battles along the way.

The pair stopped in the middle of traffic to have another one of their little confrontations. Shego ignited her hands and went after the man dressed completely in black. His body began to glow with a yellow aura as they turned to face off and she learned that it acted as shield, safeguarding him from many of her good moves. They halted cars as they began their deadly dance for the fourth time in over an hour.

The raven-haired woman could not help wondering why there were so many ninjas in Go City. Did martial artists seriously not have anything better to do with their time than to toss on their ninja uniforms and go out stealing stuff while she was on the clock? What was wrong with people? It seemed like the whole city was just off its rocker sometimes.

Shego ducked a kick from her opponent and managed to grab his leg before he completely withdrew the limb. She flung the ninja into a stopped car. He grunted on impact and Shego went to him as he was trying to get on his feet. He avoided a punch from her and swept her feet out from under her with a kick. As she fell to the ground, he pulled out a short sword from behind his back. He obviously thought that he had her as he tried to bring his blade down on her, but she caught the weapon between her plasma charged palms.

"Ever wonder just what temperature steel melts?" Shego remarked as his sword was reduced to a liquid in her hands.

The ninja gasped and decided to put some space between them than trying to deal with such dangerous hands; it was a rather wise decision in her opinion, but it was not going to save him as far as she was concerned. He took off via car tops, but Shego was right behind him. She started throwing energy blasts at him, which she would not have done, but the thief was throwing four-pointed stars at her, which were surrounded by a dull yellow light; she guessed that he had his own energy talents. She hit the projectiles with her powers and they disintegrated before touching her.

The ninja made his way over a bus and Shego thought that she might have lost him. She was having an off day, she considered, and then she heard car horns blaring along with an impact sound. She leaped over the bus and saw the ninja lying in the street with a crowd starting to gather around. Apparently, she was not the only one having an off day.

"Son of a bitch, the chief'll eat my head down to my shoulders if that bastard is dead," Shego thought as she went to check on the ninja.

The super-powered female found that the thief was unconscious, but he was still breathing and his pulse was fairly good for a person that was just hit by a SUV. She called in for ambulance, which showed up in no time and she was thankful for that because she did not want to stay there too long. It just so happened that the woman that hit the ninja was hysterical about the accident and Shego did not want to have to explain more than once that it was all right because the guy was a criminal; not to mention, his golden aura protected him fairly well from any serious injuries, so there was no reason for the woman to fret so much.

Shego retrieved the stolen items while the ninja was taken to the hospital. When he was unmasked, and identified, it turned out that he worked for a rival company and he had stolen the plans for a weapon of some kind for the company, looking to get ahead in the corporate world with the unique technology. Shego did not care because, once he was in the hospital, he was someone else's problem.

"Good job, Shego," Doctor Director complimented her when the pale woman returned to their headquarters.

"Good job?" Shego echoed in a bemused tone. "And just what the hell is that supposed to mean?" she demanded to know.

Doctor Director arched an eyebrow to her employee's reaction to an actual accolade. At first, she considered that it was because she rarely flattered anyone and Shego did not take a compliment well anyway; she always looked at them as some sort of roundabout insult. But, she could see that Shego was not taking the usual offense.

"You're obviously in one of your moods. What's wrong, kitten run away again?" the one-eyed woman inquired.

"No," Shego answered.

"Drakken freaked out?"

"No."

"Then what?"

"I don't even want to talk about it right now," Shego answered with a frustrated sigh. She really just wanted to break something.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Are you ever going to want to talk about it or am I going to have to take you to the gym and beat it out of you?" Doctor Director inquired with a smirk.

"Beat it out of me? When was the last time you beat me in a battle?" Shego countered in a challenging tone.

"Today."

"That's it. To the gym. I'm kicking your ass," the younger woman declared while pointing to the door.

Doctor Director only laughed and led the way to the gym that was located downstairs. She and Shego went to the mats. The gym was mostly empty because everyone was either working thanks to the surge of villainy that they all knew would not subside until about the end of the month or they were home because to them it was still the holidays.

Shego often thought about the evil of holidays, which she knew most people would never understand, but she had come to her conclusion through sound logic in her opinion. Holidays were evil for the sheer overindulgence that people enjoyed during the celebration. Holidays promoted hedonistic behavior that a lot of people just could not get under control after they opened up. She thought that it was foolish because if people just stopped pretending to be so selfless and righteous all the time, they would not need the excuse of a holiday of any kind to cut loose. If people just let the pleasure of living engulf them and appreciate that simple fact, they would not go overboard so much and even if they did, it would not be as annoying because it would not be so out of the norm. It made sense to her.

"Hey, don't zone out on me," Betty said to the younger woman.

"I was getting a philosophical in my head," Shego admitted sheepishly.

"You need to stop. The last time that you got philosophical, you told your big brother where he could stick it if there was room up there anyway and then you told him where he could go," Betty reminded her with a laugh.

"I doubt there was room up there anyway. I mean, his big head has to take up most of the space," Shego remarked.

The chief chuckled again and then they both suddenly got into their fighting stances. They circled each other, both trying to think of the best way to go about the battle that they were about to engage in. They thought back to the last time that they sparred and realized that it been over a year since they last went at each other for more than a minute; they had been busy with working.

"I hope you're not out of practice," Shego taunted the older woman.

"Just don't cry to your mommy when I kick your ass," the boss replied.

"I've learned better."

Betty snickered and then went at the pale female in an instant, hoping to catch her by surprise. The raven-haired woman quickly became defensive as her opponent swiftly attacked. Shego silently admitted that the mostly desk job was not taking away from her friend's skill. Betty still had her speed and flexibility; she got in some good hits before Shego decided enough was enough.

"This is like back in high school," Betty commented as she blocked a kick from the pale woman that had been aimed at her head.

"That was just fucking stupid," the green-skinned female replied while recovering her leg and dodging several punches from her opponent. She was quicker than Betty recalled; apparently, Shego was still getting better.

"I was only trying to help," the brown-haired woman stated, knowing the incident in the past that her friend was referring to.

"That's why I don't ask for your help anymore."

"You didn't ask back there."

"There was obviously a reason for that," Shego remarked while trying to go at Betty's midsection.

"Even the best of us screw up every once and a while," the one-eyed woman retorted while avoiding Shego's swift hands.

"You more so than others."

Betty frowned and went at her younger friend with more effort than before. Shego smirked as she bobbed and weaved moves from her boss. They relished in the fact that for once they did not have an audience while they fighting because now they could cut loose. That was another reason that they hardly sparred with each other; they hated it when people watched them and tried to coach them from the sidelines. They knew what the hell they were doing without novices putting their two cents in; they had been doing martial arts for almost as long as they had been alive, after all.

"Are you going to keep coming at me with your c-game?" Shego inquired as she dodged several roundhouse kicks.

"I almost forgot I had a higher game," Betty remarked.

"Let me refresh your memory."

Shego dipped and swept the older woman's feet from underneath her. Betty flattered and tumbled backwards to avoid the rest of her friend's assault. The green-skinned female did not let up and kept going at her old friend.

Betty was defensive for a while, getting tagged a few times because Shego was rapid and powerful with her attack. She marched forward always, hating to give up any ground. The boss laughed to herself a little bit; Shego fought how she lived, so there had to be some weakness somewhere, she reasoned.

The one-eyed woman was already sweating after a few minutes of fighting, but she noticed that Shego was also, meaning she was not as out of shape as she feared that she might be. She upped her effort and started going at Shego again, hoping to gain some advantage. They began exchanging blows and soon it looked like they were in a movie.

The pair fought for over ten minutes before Betty dropped to the canvas to catch her breath; her body just could not stay up anymore. Shego sat down next to her best friend and glanced at her. The younger woman had to take a few breaths before deciding to talk.

"You're not as off your game as I thought you were," Shego commented.

"More than I thought, though. I used to be able to whip your ass. Damn desk job. I'm going to have to start doing things again," Betty replied.

"Yeah, sure," Shego scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"So, why the attitude?"

"I slept with him."

"Good for you," Betty replied. She would have said more, but she was still trying to catch her breath. She glanced over at her friend and noticed her expression. She then thought about the attitude. "Okay, obviously not good for you," the one-eyed woman guessed.

"Two minutes."

"You're kidding. How is that possible?" Betty asked.

"Believe me, it is. He then fell asleep after not doing anything and mumbling three words that I didn't need to hear."

"You're lying, right?"

"I wish I was."

"What's the problem? Don't you…?" Betty could not bring herself to ask. She knew that there were just certain words that she was not supposed to use when talking to Shego. She was also aware that it was not a question that her friend would answer no matter what. She just assumed that Shego put up with the man and his eccentricities for a reason.

"I don't know," the younger martial artist answered.

"So, you didn't say it back?"

"He fell asleep right after."

"So, maybe it was just ecstasy slip. You know most people can't think and climax at the same time," Betty remarked.

"He remembered in the morning. He remembered that he said he loved me," Shego informed her friend. The older woman was not sure how to respond to that, especially since she was not totally clear on how her friend felt.

* * *

Shego threw on her house clothes, thankful to be home. She went to the living room and moved her sleeping pet's head from the sofa. She sat down and then placed Kim's head in her lap. The teen groaned a little bit, but remained asleep. Shego put the TV on and found a movie that she wanted to see. She watched the picture peacefully for a long while and then she was distracted.

Kim turned while she was lying on Shego to where she was in front of Shego's stomach. She then rubbed her face in her master's abdomen. Shego looked down at her pet and saw that the girl was still out like a light despite her actions.

"You want attention even in your sleep. You're such a lazy brat," Shego commented while gently caressing the teen's head. "You're so lucky, Pumpkin. Your day consists of eating and sleeping without anything else to fuck it up. I bet the toughest decision you made today was whether you should heat up some lunch or just crash on the sofa. You barely go outside and when you do, you hang out with those goofy ass friends of yours. No cares or responsibilities in the world. I actually think you're living the way most people want to, but they're too scared to try it out.

"For a while, I used to live like you, just doing whatever I felt was good and not giving a damn. I ended up doing too much, though. Turns out being a total hedonist is self-destructive. I ended up slowing myself down after almost killing myself from just doing too much shit.

"You, though, you need to speed up a little bit. But, I guess this is your thing and you're good at it, so why knock your flow, right? I certainly do attract the most pathetic of creatures, not that I think that when I look at you all the time. It just seems to be the truth.

"Drakken is just as pitiful as you, maybe even more so. I mean, at least you don't think you're more than you are. You know how I met him? No, you don't, I never told you and you don't bother with asking. I was assigned to guard him and his project when he got hired for some big demonstration in the city a few years ago. It was some kind of aircraft that actually exploded during the test; I thought that shit was funny.

"But, there was something weird about Drakken, aside from the blue skin. Maybe it was that he didn't look at me like a freak like a lot of guys do. Believe it or not, even with the figure and the looks, I don't get a lot of attention from guys. The greenish skin puts them off, which I really don't mind. Only interesting people will give a girl with green skin a chance and that's really what I'm looking for.

"Funny thing is that I got you and Drakken out of the deal. He's not really interesting in the right way and you, well, you're interesting and everything, but I don't even know. I'd like to think that you're just playing around, but I can tell you're serious about it. Too bad you're just a little monster, whiny pet. Drakken, I don't know about him. I think he thinks he's serious about it.

"Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah, Drakken, started hiring me for guard service whenever he came into town or if I had some time off, he'd hire me wherever he was. He pays good money. He actually needs a guard too. People try to jack his stuff all the time.

"Eventually, he asked me out to dinner at a place that only served seafood. I'm not much a fan, but what the hell, free food is always free food. I'm sure that something you understand. We linked up, sort of anyway. I mean, he's all right and he grows on you eventually, but you've seen enough of our little train wreck to see just how awkward the guy is around not just me, but people point blank. You've seen him kiss me. It's not a pretty sight. Hell, he should take lessons from you. I've actually experienced something worse than his kiss, though.

"You probably already know I slept with him. You're probably even upset with me, even though you tried to encourage him to be more open. I don't think he liked that. I don't know why you tried to help. It's probably because you're not too bright, even though you claim you want me to be happy. I don't know why. It's not like I give a damn about you.

"To tell you the truth, you're probably the only thing that really cares about what I do with my life, probably because I feed you. If you really do care about my happiness, you're still probably the only thing that cares. Drakken might in his own bizarre way, as frightening as that maybe.

"Despite his weirdness, I don't mind him sometimes. I mean, I stay with him, so obviously I don't mind him much. He might be the one made for me, as scary as that sounds. It's just he's so interested in me for different reasons than anyone else I've met. Of course, I could say the same with you, but he's different. He seems to like me for me and not too many people do.

"You know what he told me? He said that he loved me. It's not a concept I'm comfortable with for the sheer fact that love is pure bull. I also don't think that a man missing as many marbles as Drakken knows what it is to love someone, if such a thing is possible to do.

"Betty thought I loved the guy and that's why I put up with him. What a stupid fucking assumption. Hard to believe I've known her damn near all my life. You'd think she'd know me a little better, eh? I mean, I put up with you and I damn sure don't love you.

"You are just a lazy, good-for-nothing freeloader after all. Why do I put up with him? No idea really, except that he keeps coming back and that's more than any other guy ever did with me. Maybe I'm set in a dumb ass routine that he's a part of. You, though? I don't know why I keep you around, but I guess I'll keep it up. After all, you'd probably die within a couple of weeks if I kick your cute ass out," Shego commented with a light laugh.

The raven-haired woman stopped talking because Kim started to move again. Kim let one of her hands rest near her owner's side and it looked like she was going to grip some part of Shego, but she did not and she remained sleeping. Shego shook her head and continued to pet Kim; yeah, her teen was certainly hopeless, but at least she was cute while being that.

--(New day)

Kim woke up smiling. She leaped down from her loft space and it appeared like she was just cheering in her mind. She trotted into the living room and her face fell like she had just seen the worse sight of all time when all she saw was Drakken and Shego sitting on the sofa and talking to each other. She lingered in the area for a moment too long.

"Your cousin's here again?" Drakken balked. Kim was getting the idea that he did not care for her presence, not that she understood why. It was not like she had done anything to him; she certainly had not ruined his day as many times as he had ruined hers, she was sure of that.

"She lives here," Shego informed him in a dull tone. She glanced at her pet and guessed that she should warn the girl next time Drakken just popped by because Kim was still in her pajamas with sleep still in the corners of her eyes and her hair going every way that it possibly could. She really did not care how Kim looked and the teenager was not trying to impress Drakken with her appearance, but Shego for some reason would rather her boyfriend not see her pet in her current state.

"You never said she lived here. She said she was visiting," the cerulean inventor pointed out as if he was trying to make an argument about something.

"What does it matter?" Shego asked; it was not like he lived at the apartment. He could always leave if he had a problem and if he was going to make a thing about her pet being there, then he would have to leave.

"You really should tell me these things," he answered.

"Should I be leaving?" Kim inquired.

"Yes!" Drakken insisted.

"Princess," Shego said because she knew why Kim had come to living room with smile and she had only just woken up a minute ago.

"It's all right. I'll just go outside for a little while," the redhead muttered.

Shego tried to stop the girl, but Kim went back to her space. The pale woman sighed; it was supposed to be their day. It was her only day off during the week and she usually spent it with her pet. They went to the park or something else like that. She bought her pet sweets if she was good. They rented movies and vegged out on the sofa. It was generally a day to relax and she knew that her pet looked forward to such things.

"Damn it," Shego muttered.

Kim dressed quickly and left the apartment. She had been looking forward to just a day of resting in Shego's lap, watching her mistress' content expression as they enjoyed some sappy movie. She wondered if anybody knew that her owner had a soft spot for romance movies. She doubted it; it was probably a secret, just like when she fell asleep in Shego's lap and the older woman liked to kiss her cheek. Things like that made her look forward to her mistress' day off.

In fact, on her keeper's day off, Kim informed Wade that he was not to call her unless the entire world was threatened, or at the very least a whole continent. Her mistress' day off had pretty much become her day off because she knew that Shego liked to unwind with her around. Well, and she liked to lounge around with Shego; it was not like there was anything wrong with that.

"So, you chased my cousin away. Anything else you'd like to ruin today before it's even ten?" Shego asked Drakken. And to think, she would still be sleeping if she had just not answered the phone earlier, she silently mused.

"Why don't you get that kid a job or something?" Drakken countered.

"Because that's none of your business. What are you even doing here?" Shego was dying to know the reason behind him showing up at the crack of dawn on her day off; okay, fine, it was not the crack of dawn, but on her day off, she liked to pretend that the day did not start until the afternoon.

"I figured we should talk about what happened," Drakken said.

"Why?" she asked quite seriously. She did not see why any man would want to make two minutes of intercourse a topic of conversation, especially when he was not even the one that did all of the work. He had simply been the one to ruin it.

"Because it's an important step in our relationship," he answered.

"How so?"

"I think we should tell our families."

Shego wanted to laugh, but his suggestion was so ridiculous that it was so hilarious it did a one eighty turn and she could not laugh at it. How a man that held a PhD could be so stupid, she would never know, she guessed. What made him think that she shared anything with her family aside from their common genetic makeup? What made him think that she wanted to tell either of their families anything at all?

And to think, had she just not answered the phone, she could still be sleeping right now, she thought again. She may never answer the phone again, she considered.

* * *

Next time: Shego actually meets Drakken's momma while Kim wonders about her mistress' family. Shego also gets seriously injured, so who is going to take care of her? She won't believe it.


	13. Problem Thirteen: Meeting his mother

I don't own these characters, or this premise, or Dodge Ball, or the Twilight Zone, but I do live in the Twilight Zone. There's a lot of space there and not so many people.

Problem thirteen: Meeting his mother…

_Pets sometimes try to be helpful to their owners, as if they are trying to pay back all the kindness that they receive. Sometimes, they do mess things up when they try to help and sometimes they do things just right._

Shego sighed as she went through her closet. Kim was sitting on her mistress' bed with her legs folded underneath her. She had her head cocked to the side and her fire red hair was spilling over one shoulder. She had a curious look in her olive green eyes; see, her mistress was searching for an outfit to wear to meet her boyfriend's mother.

The redhead wondered why her owner was going to meet the man's mother when it was clear that she did not want to. Kim was ready to just be the irresponsible pet that she was and suggest that they go curl up on the sofa and watch Dodge Ball for the millionth time. She bet that would clear up Shego's mood, but she decided against doing such a thing.

Kim did find herself wondering about her mistress' family since she now knew that Drakken had a mother; to think someone actually expelled him from her womb, she silently amused herself. She had gathered that Shego did not care too much for her family. The pale woman never got phone calls from anyone that could have been family. Betty mostly called and then just random people called. Shego never called some place and requested to speak with her mother or father. She did not have any pictures of anybody that she bore a resemblance to; actually, she did not have any pictures at all from what Kim could tell and she had been through every nook and cranny of the apartment.

"Hey, Shego," Kim called.

"What?" the raven-haired woman answered in an irritated tone.

"Do you know what Drakken's mother looks like?"

"No."

"Do you know anything about her?"

"No."

"Are you going to bring her anything?" the teen asked curiously.

"No. Why would I?"

"It would make a good impression, which is a good thing. You should take that pie you made last night," the girl suggested.

"Didn't you eat it?" Shego inquired. Pie did not last long after it came out of the oven because her pet seemingly swallowed anything with sugar in it. She hated to think what her girl's diet would be like if she did not make healthy meals everyday.

"I thought about it, but since I missed our workout last week, I figured I should skip it. So, you should take that," Kim proposed.

"Yeah, whatever," the older female replied.

The teenager only smiled because she knew that her mistress was going to follow her advice. She watched as Shego went through her expensive clothes; the redhead noticed that her owner had her closet organized in comfort wear, street clothes, business casual, and formal. Her comfort wear was mostly sport apparel, which she typically wore around the house. Street clothes were more fashion conscious than comfort wear and more form-fitting. Business casual and formal wear were the least worn out of her clothing because she was not very social. Everything in her closet was either some shade of green or black.

"What the hell should I wear?" Shego grumbled.

Kim picked herself up from the bed and went to the closet. She yanked out an outfit within a few seconds from the business casual section of the wardrobe. She held it up for her mistress, who stared at the attire.

"That could work. Good girl," Shego praised her pet while patting the girl on the head.

The redhead sincerely grinned at the older woman, just glad for the acknowledgement. She was pleased to be of some use to her irked owner. She hoped that Drakken appreciated the trouble that Shego was going through, although the teen doubted he even knew about the effort that Shego went through for him.

The teen stayed out of sight when Drakken showed up. He looked around for her, unaware that she dwelled in the loft. She remained in her loft space while the couple got their act together.

"What's that?" Drakken asked when he noticed that Shego was holding a pan in her hands and placing it in a bag.

"A pecan pie," Shego answered. She was dressed in slightly loose black pants that hugged her hips. Her shirt matched her eyes exactly and stopped just below her bellybutton, giving her a neat look and not showing any skin; both females guessed that any sign of skin would probably offend the scientist's mother. The shirt was a nice fabric and just a plain emerald green.

"Oh, pie," he said with a bright smile on his face. She guessed that it was a good thing to bring the pie.

Kim rolled her eyes when she heard how pleased the scarred scientist sounded about the dessert; leave it to Drakken to be happy about the pie rather than taking some notice of how hot his girlfriend looked in her outfit. He was supposed to say something about her clothes, but obviously he did not know that. The redhead thought that it was possible that Drakken had just won Shego in a girlfriend lottery because she could not see how else he hooked up with such a banging female.

* * *

Shego doubted that she would ever meet a creature more annoying than Drakken's mother; the irony was, of course not lost on her. She used to think that Drakken was the most irksome thing that existed and she thought it was because he was crazy, but it turned out that it was learned behavior. So much for nature versus nurturing, she thought.

The main problem that Shego had with Miss or Missus, they never cleared up which it was and Shego really did not care, Lipsky was that she was boring! Not only was she dull, but her voice was like a million cats being drowned to Shego's ears. The raven-haired woman just wanted to claw her own eyes out as an excuse to get out of the house, which smelled way too much like artificial pine and plastic to be pleasant. The thing there was that all of the furniture was covered in plastic like they were living in the 1970's.

From the moment that the woman opened the door to let the couple in, Shego had bad thoughts about her. The first notion that came to mind was how much the shorter female looked like a troll. She could just picture her sitting under a bridge and trying to eat goats. She should have taken that as a sign to run away as fast as she could, the super-powered female considered.

Once they were in the house, trapped in the house as Shego looked at it, Mrs. Lipsky started running her mouth and did not stop, even for air it seemed. Well, Shego could see where Drakken got that annoying habit of rambling on and on from. And then the little redhead started going on about her brilliant little "Drewby." Oh, it was going to be a long day, Shego thought with a sigh; she knew that she should have just stayed home. She should have run when she had the chance!

The visit did cater to Shego's sadistic side because she enjoyed the look of pure horror that appeared on Drakken's face whenever his mother opened her mouth because who knew what she was going to say next. Almost everything that came out of his mother's mouth was embarrassing for the blue doctor in some way and Shego could not help wondering why he would want her to meet his mother. He should have known that it was not going to make him look good because mothers knew all the dirt from when their children were too little to figure out something was stupid.

Shego guessed that Drakken expected his mother to make it seem like he hung the moon in the sky, which she seemed to be trying to do, but she was also letting all sorts of other things slip. She did not know why he would think that his mother would only sing his praises since everyone over the age of nine knew that it was a mother's job to humiliate them around their peers. Mothers were like landmines; a person had to watch his step around his mother because one false move and she could kill with one single story or one incriminating photo. It would seem that the cerulean-skinned doctor did not know that, but she bet that he was learning.

Drakken's mother had no short supply of incriminating pictures of her little "Drewby." There were albums dedicated to him looking like a complete imbecile. Shego gathered that Drakken was an only child just from the volumes of photo albums full of him; some of them were like a cartoon flip book and if they went through them fast enough, she was sure that they would have seen the whole scene of his ice cream falling to the ground and him bawling his eyes out like it was the end of the world. It was amusing at least.

Shego understood how parents were when they only had one of something, one child in Mrs. Lipsky's case, and one girl in her parents' case. Damnable luck that, she thought, especially with her parents. One tried to treat her just like the others and the other attempted to make it seem like she was special. It did not really work out.

After the billion pictures and even more stories, the Lipsky troll (mental slip on Shego's part) tried to force feed them dinner. Drakken ate everything with a smile on his face, but he did whine about eating his vegetables. When his mother scolded him, he grumbled a few things that were mock swear words at best and that got him reprimanded again. Shego just watched the tragedy unfold while eating her meal; a meal that she did not want and the taste was not changing that fact. She was willing to bet that she could cook a better meal blindfolded without knowing what ingredients she had to work with.

Shego had to admit that her pet knew how to call them because she got praised when Mrs. Lipsky cut up her pecan pie. The funny thing was that the pale female was not much of a fan of pies; she mostly made them because her pet devoured them by the pan full. Shego did not really like any food that fell apart the short distance from the pan to the plate, which most pies did, especially when they were warm.

The raven-haired woman was so thankful when she was able to leave that woman's house that she wanted to tell it to the world. She wanted to jump for joy, do a cartwheel, just anything to celebrate her freedom. She breathed a sigh of relief when she stepped into her home; she was safe from the Lipsky madness.

"So, how'd it go?" Kim asked, peering down at her owner from the loft.

"Don't ask. If you need anything, I'll be in the bathroom throwing up about five pounds of meatloaf," Shego replied.

"You stayed for dinner?"

"He wouldn't leave and he's the one with the car. There's no train station next to her house either."

"He's a momma's boy, isn't he?" the teen asked.

"It's obvious."

"Yeah, he does seem like one," Kim concurred.

"When I look at him, a lot of the time I find myself thinking that only a mother could possibly fuck someone up this much," the older woman remarked.

The teenager laughed because she had never heard of such a thing before. "I ordered pizza if you want food after you throw up," the redhead informed her owner.

"You mean you actually used the phone and no one got hurt?" Shego teased.

"Well, I did dial the wrong number at first," Kim replied with a smile, which was returned by Shego.

--(New day)

Family was not an issue with her mistress, Kim noted. Shego never asked Kim about her family and Shego certainly never spoke about hers. She did not even give in to Drakken's wacky idea of meeting her kin; she just seemed to want nothing to do with her relatives. Kim was curious, but did not go snooping. Well, except for around the house, but she felt that it was her duty as a pet to go through her owner's things when she was not around.

The redhead could have easily requested that Wade pull up everything he possibly could on Shego, but she never did that. Why waste his time with something that was not really her business? She could not find a reason to do such a thing. After all, what did a pet need to know about her mistress, except that she was the one that provided the food, shelter, and warmth?

Kim looked at her owner, who was moving around the kitchen. What kind of home was it that she came from, Kim wondered. There were so many possibilities that the redhead could not narrow down her selection. A broken family would explain her disposition. But, she was so domestic and good around the house that it seemed like she came from a family with parents that cared enough for the house to be clean and food to be on the table. Plus, she was affectionate, even if she did not know it. It was not that it was learned behavior to be affectionate, but it helped to experience something before going out and doing it, so Kim thought her mistress had experienced affection before.

Then there was the way that Shego tried her best in her relationship with Drakken, even though it might not look like she was trying at all. It seemed like she was trying to prove that she could stay with him no matter what. Kim could not figure out if Shego did such a thing because maybe her parents were broken up or they stayed together despite all hardships. It was so hard to figure out; she wished she could have Yori observe her mistress and have the sociology major weigh in on what was going on.

"What are you doing down there?" Shego inquired, staring down at Kim, who was comfortably parked on the floor right outside the kitchen.

"Admiring your butt," Kim answered with an elfish smile. Not to mention, she was waiting for a cake to come out of the oven.

"Bad girl. Do you want me to come after you?" she threatened her pet.

"No."

"Then get up and get out."

The redhead pouted, but she did as she was ordered to do. She doubted her mistress came from a conventional family with how casual she was acting about having a girl openly admit to admiring her butt. Kim had made quite a few very open minded girls nervous with such things, even when she was joking.

Shego could not come from a conventional family for the simple fact that she was keeping a girl as a pet. Kim could only wonder about how her mistress was brought up for her to be all right with having a human pet. But then Kim thought about that on her end, how was she brought up for her to be okay with being a pet? Hey, she was relatively normal…okay, she was not normal, not even for her family, but she had a great upbringing.

--(New day)

A building suddenly erupted into flames, but the street was relatively clear, so no one was hurt. Only law enforcement agents were around because the block had been barricaded off. Moments before the building went up in smoke, a man was flung from the second story window; he was safely caught by several men that were on standby in case something like that happened. After the explosion, Shego came flying from a different window on the second floor. She landed on the roof of an unmarked car and groaned.

"Son of a…" she passed out before she could finish her sentence.

"That appeared to be special officer Shego," a man in a black suit commented when he saw the body soaring through the air.

"If that was, she's going to be pissed when she gets up," another man replied.

* * *

Shego lay in her bed, staring at her ceiling. It left like her whole body had one monstrous headache. It seemed like with each beat of her heart there was also a throb of pain somewhere on her body.

She should not have saved that stupid bomber, she scolded herself. If she had not taken the time out of her life to grab the skinny lunatic and throw him out of the window, she would have gotten out uninjured. She should have left him there to show him that he was not immune to fire like he thought he was, even though she proved that when she hit him with one plasma-charged punch. She should have left him there just for being an idiot and arming a bomb while he was still at ground zero. What a fucking asshole, she silently complained.

She thought about how she could learn to dislike her job if criminals were going to be as crazy as that guy was. It was one thing to be a mad bomber; there had been plenty of those in history. But, to be a mad bomber that claimed to be immune to fire and was cleansing the world building by building was another matter altogether. It did not help matters that he had weapons that melted holes in almost anything, especially all of the police arsenal, which had been the reason she got called in. Damn that little bastard, she silently huffed.

"Hey, you're up," Kim said as she poked her head in her owner's bedroom. She smiled a bit.

"Yeah, what about it?" Shego asked.

"I made you some soup and tea. Plus, you should take your medication before the pain kicks back in," Kim replied.

"Made soup?" Shego echoed.

The redhead ducked out of the room and Shego wondered what was going on. Her pet was not allowed to touch the stove, so she could not have made soup or tea, unless she used the microwave. Shego doubted that the girl made microwaved tea because that was just wrong, even someone as dumb as her pet had to know that. So, the question was since when was the teen competent enough to boil water and not burn the house down at the same time?

Kim came back in with a tray that held a bowl of soup and a cup of tea. There was also a little bottle of pills on the side. She sat the tray down in front of Shego, who just gawked at the meal. Her pet had made actual soup, not from a can, but homemade soup.

"Chicken noodle is the only one I know how to make," Kim sheepishly confessed. Even if it was homemade, she still thought it was a childish soup and felt a bit embarrassed to serve it to her very adult master.

"It's fine," Shego assured the teen in a low voice.

"I didn't know what kind of tea you like or how you take it, so I went with lemon and put a couple of spoons of sugar in it."

"That's fine."

"Okay, you should take the medicine right away. Call me if you need anything," the teen hero said with a small smile and she was about to leave, but Shego spoke up.

"You know, Princess, my mother makes homemade soup," the raven-haired female murmured.

"Yeah?"

"That's how she is. Everything has to be done from scratch."

"Really? She sounds amazing, like you. Where is she?" Kim asked curiously. Hearing her owner refer to the woman in the present tense at least let her know that Shego's mother was not dead and she would not be walking into an awkward moment.

"Hell if I know. My mother's a weird one. I guess I get it from her," Shego commented with a forced laugh.

"Weird is good. I like you just as weird as you are. I like everything about you," Kim assured her mistress.

"I'll bet," the older woman muttered.

"I do," the teen promised.

Kim then exited the room and left Shego to wonder what in the hell was going on. When Kim had first heard that her owner had been blown out of the second story of a building after it blew up and she had landed on a car, the teen had honestly been frightened for the first time in a long time. She thought that her mistress had been killed or at the very least due for a very long stay in the hospital. It turned out that she was wrong on both accounts. Shego stayed in the hospital for one night, which was more than she liked, and then she was discharged, which was a good thing because she had promised to burn down her room if she had to stay any longer.

Shego had not even broken anything, but she was bruised like a rotten apple and she had sprained a few things. Kim admired her owner's toughness, not that she grasped how Shego had not broken anything at first. Doctor Director explained that Shego's talents extended beyond being able to ignite her hands and throw plasma blasts, but she was able to take a lot of punishment. There was also the fact that Shego needed to be tough with all of the training and work that she went through during her life.

Kim accepted the explanation because it made some sense to her and she had heard stranger truths. Shego was going to be bedridden for a few days, which the super-powered female did not like. Kim took it upon herself to take care of Shego, which of course surprised and baffled the green-skinned woman.

The pet showing responsibility also surprised Doctor Director, who came by a couple of days after Shego was discharged from the hospital. She entered the apartment to find Kim cleaning up. She thought for a brief moment that she was in the wrong home.

"What the hell are you doing?" Betty asked when she saw Kim sweeping the kitchen floor. Part of her actually thought that the girl might be suffering from a head injury or being controlled by some unknown force to get her to be doing housework.

"Straightening up. Shego's in her room," Kim informed the older woman because she knew the reason the brown-haired female came by was to check on her friend.

The one-eyed woman nodded and marched to the back of the apartment to Shego's room. She found Shego in bed, reading a book. She shook her head at the sight.

"I forgot that you could read," Betty remarked.

"Very funny," Shego replied while putting her book down.

"I see you finally got the lazy brat to do something."

"It's rather odd…" Shego commented while glancing at her bedroom door.

"What? It's about time she did something."

"She's just a pet," the younger woman replied in a dismissive tone. She did not expect a pet to do anything because she knew that a pet was not supposed to do anything. She would not expect a hamster to clean up, so she did not expect that of Kim either. Her pet typically understood that, but suddenly the teen was ignoring that and it was so strange in her opinion.

"I know. She's been taking care of you?" Betty inquired.

"That's the odd thing. She's doing stuff that I was sure she'd fuck up. It's a little creepy, like I'm trapped in the damn Twilight Zone," Shego replied while looking away for a moment.

The raven-haired woman was rather uncomfortable with the situation that was taking place and it had only been going on for two days. There was something wrong with her pet taking care of her. She was supposed to take care of her pet, never the other way around. There was also the fact that her pet was showing signs of having a working brain hiding in that void she called a skull.

"You know, you being blown of that window was caught on tape," Doctor Director commented, pulling Shego away from her thoughts.

"Damn it. Everybody at work saw that shit, didn't they?" the younger woman asked with a frown. She could just picture those assholes that she worked with laughing at her as she was blown across the street from the second story of a building.

"They have watched it backwards, forward, in slow-mo. They kept pausing it when you hit that car because there is a precise moment where we can all tell in your mind you're going 'son of a bitch'," the boss reported with a bit of a laugh.

"You guys are so wrong. I'm kicking everybody's ass when I get back."

Betty only laughed, even though there was always the chance that her friend was not joking around. They spoke a bit longer before Doctor Director had to leave. Kim brought Shego dinner right after Betty left. Kim sat down on the bed to eat dinner with her owner while Shego stared down at the meal.

The teenager believed that her mistress was wondering what a stupid creature like her knew about cooking. She was aware that Shego thought she was just about as smart as a patch of dirt and she did not see the point in disproving that idea. It was not that she wanted to be looked at as dumb, but she did not feel like proving that she was intelligent without a reason behind it. She was content to be seen as a moron until she had to do something that showed she had a working brain.

"Is it that you only know how to make pasta or is that you like it that much?" Shego inquired because her pet had once again made noodles.

"I like it, but not as much as I like you," Kim replied with a grin.

Shego rolled her eyes while the teen continued to smile. Kim could not figure out, but she very much liked the irked woman and she wanted so much to make her happy. She wanted to help Shego like the woman helped her.

--(New day)

There was a knock at the door that caused Kim to jump up from the sofa to answer before her mistress could move; Shego was also sitting on the sofa. The older woman finally felt good enough to move around, but the redhead still insisted on doing simple things, like getting the door. She allowed Shego to handle most of the other things because she understood that Shego needed to do things; she certainly needed to run her own household.

The teenager jogged to the door and opened it without asking who it was as usual. Standing before her was not one of the two people that she expected to see at the door. The woman in front of her looked like an older version of Shego, minus the green tint to her skin. Kim was a bit confused.

"Um…may I help you?" Kim asked, thinking that the woman might have the wrong apartment.

"I'm looking for Shego," the woman answered.

"Oh, sure. Right through here," Kim replied and she pointed to the living room. It did not cross her mind to ask who the woman was or what business that she had with Shego.

"I gathered as much."

The woman stepped in while Kim closed the door. The teen hero studied the woman with an arched eyebrow as she walked to the living room and noticed that she moved similar to Shego. She thought that was odd. The funny thing was how the woman's motion stood out to Kim, but she did not think anything about how the woman was dressed in a black business suit or the reason behind someone dressed in such a manner wanting to see her mistress.

"Princess, who is it?" Shego called.

"Is that what the girl is called?" a familiar voice inquired that caused Shego to turn to the opening that led to the living room.

"Mommy," the green-skinned female gasped.

"Mommy?" Kim echoed; well, that explained a whole lot, but left so many questions. She could not help wondering if her master was anything like how she described Drakken; a person that only a mother could fuck up so much.

* * *

Next time: Shego's mother. That's it, just Shego's mother.


	14. Problem Fourteen: Having a mother

Still don't own these characters or this premise.

Warning: there is an original character coming up. Blame Disney for this, they should have given Shego a mother; after all, they gave her brothers. Why not just make a whole family tree and save me the trouble of making up a mother?

Problem fourteen: Having a mother…

_You know, if you're going to have a pet, it should be able to attack unwanted guests. Or it should at least be able to warn you that someone you don't want to see is coming by._

Kim recently learned a new fact of life; a person that was uniquely maladjusted was probably that way because of the person's mother. Her master had told her so, although her mistress had used much simpler and harsher language when explaining it. Well, now Shego's mother was in the house and she wondered if her mistress fell into such a category. She guessed that she would find out by being a bad pet and hanging around for the plausible carnage that might take place.

The redhead first excused herself to the kitchen to make tea for her mistress and guest, just to allow the mother the chance to have the idea of privacy. She was not too far away to hear anything that might go on unless they started whispering, which she knew Shego would not do. Shego did not think of Kim as a person, meaning what the girl thought did not matter and she would say just about anything around the teen, usually anyway.

Shego just gawked at her mother because she could not believe that a member of her family was in her home while the older woman merely sat down as if there was nothing wrong with her being in her daughter's home. Her mother was a pale woman, which Shego was too, even with the sickly green hue that coated her. They shared quite a few features, emerald eyes, flowing ebony hair, and heart-shaped faces. Her mother was taller than she was, but she looked almost like a younger, green-skinned clone of her mother.

Shego decided to turn the television off because it was only going to serve as background noise from then on until her mother left the apartment. She knew that her mother would want her full attention, not that the older woman expected it. Shego did the unexpected thing and gave her mother just what she desired; it was defiance in a unique manner. Shego had learned through out her years with her family that being a rebel meant doing the things they expected the least and making sure to be as cranky as possible about it.

"How long have you been in town?" Shego asked.

"A few days," her mother answered in a dismissive tone.

"Staying at a hotel or with one of your idiots?" the younger woman inquired with a bit of an attitude.

"You shouldn't say such things about your brothers. They sometimes show signs of intelligence, which we all know they get from me. I'm staying at hotel."

Shego looked directly at her mother as she made her next inquiry because she wanted to know the truth and nothing but the truth. She did not want to give her mother a chance to lie to her in any way. She desired the facts.

"I was on the news, wasn't I?" the green-skinned female practically demanded to know. Her mother would not be there just because she was in town for whatever. Her mother was too irksome to not be at her home to check on her and make sure she was all right after she was blown out of that stupid building; as if she needed looking after or to be taken care of like a baby, the super-powered woman thought with a huff.

"I only saw for a moment. That is not why I am in town," her mother assured her. She knew that Shego would not believe her, though.

"Then what?" the daughter asked quickly, thinking that she might catch her mother off guard. She should have known better, though.

"I'm giving a weekend seminar about women and martial arts. If you'd like, you can come down and participate in a demonstration," her mother offered in a dry tone with a small smile on her face. It would be a cold day in Hell when she was caught off guard.

"Last time I was in a demonstration, you kicked me twenty feet and into a wall," Shego reminded her mother in a bit of a huff.

"Well, you were only ten. I should hope that you're better now."

Shego did not reply to that and her mother sighed when she noted that the younger woman seemed to take great offense to her words. Kim poked her head out to the living room from around the corner and noticed that her owner was in a strange position. Shego was slouched forward and staring at the floor. She looked defeated, ashamed, even disappointed; Kim had never seen such a sight and she did not know what to make of it.

"I'm only teasing, little firefly," her mother said to Shego.

"Don't call me that," Shego grumbled. Why did parents have stupid nicknames for their children anyway? Did they not know that their offspring would hate the names almost always no matter what?

Her mother sighed. "What do you want to call you then?" she asked. Why was it so hard for them to speak to each other when they were so much alike, they both wondered; it was not only at the moment, but often through out time that they had such a problem. It was not that they did not want to get along, but they did not seem to know what to make of each other.

"Shego," the daughter answered about what she desired to be referred to as.

"Why? It's not the name on your birth certificate and how you hated it so much back then."

"Firefly isn't on my birth certificate and I hated it back then too, but you call me that," Shego pointed out. She was not sure why she preferred the name Shego over others and she refused to consider why, but it was just what she wanted to be called. Hell, to her, all names beat her given name.

"All right, all right," her mother easily conceded and she decided to change the subject because she had not come over to upset her daughter or to have an argument of any kind. She glanced toward the kitchen. "Isn't that girl a little young for you?" she asked curiously. She had always thought that her daughter was into the opposite sex, but it appeared that she was wrong.

"It's not like that," Shego replied. She would have thought that her mother knew her well enough to know that she would never be in a relationship with a runt like her annoying pet.

"No? You appear to be in house clothes because you wouldn't go outside in such an outfit. She looked like she was still in pajamas. How is it if it isn't like that?" her mother inquired curiously.

"She's my pet," Shego answered effortlessly, as if it was nothing at all for her to have a teenage girl as a pet. Kim wondered how her owner's mother would react to such news.

"Your pet?" her mother repeated in a bewildered tone.

"Yes, my pet."

"Then why'd you call her Princess?"

"That's what I named her."

"You named a teenage girl?" her mother inquired. She was obviously not following how the "pet" thing was working and the look in her eyes conveyed that idea more than her question.

"She's my pet," Shego repeated again, figuring that it would explain itself if her mother thought on it for a moment or so. After all, her mother had to know what a pet was considering the fact that the boys had murdered dozens of pets when they were younger.

Kim jogged in with tea for all after hearing her mistress admit that she was a pet. The redhead was not sure what to think about the mother and daughter because Shego was honest with the woman and they were talking fairly comfortably. Shego did not appear anxious in any way and her mother mirrored the passive expression, but they somehow did not seem to be getting along. Kim handed the pair their drinks and then flopped down at their feet.

"Pumpkin," Shego said.

"Yes?" Kim asked with a smile.

"Go to bed."

"It's eight o'clock," the teen pointed out.

"Go to bed," she repeated the command.

"Ah, man. This is ferociously wrong," Kim complained as she stood and went to her loft. "I'm going to sleep in your bed tonight!" she informed her master as that was one of the best punishments she could offer for making her go to bed at such an early hour.

"I'd like to see you try," Shego dared the teen.

"And I'm going to use you as a pillow too!"

"And you'll end up hiding in your stupid box all day too," Shego retorted.

"And I'm going to hug you!"

Shego rolled her eyes. The whole reason for sending her pet away was so her mother did not see how she interacted with the girl. She did not want to give her mother the wrong impression and she did not mean that in the way most people might think; she just did not want her mother to think she enjoyed having the little pest around because that would be a mistake to think. She did not want her mother to think that she had changed in someway and could stand the company of anything or that she could care about anything.

Shego's mother had come to understand the "pet" thing to the point where she could see that Kim was not Shego's girlfriend. Beyond that, the concept was sort of lost on her because her daughter never showed any interest in having a pet. She guessed that it took a while for Shego to find a companion she was comfortable with.

"A pet girl. I can see why you never played with the dogs," her mother commented with a slightly amused smile on her face.

"The dogs were dirty and that's why I never played with them. No reason to get attached to something that was going to be dead or gone in a month anyway," Shego remarked.

The younger woman knew that her mother would not think that she was odd for having a pet girl. Shego would not be surprised if her mother had done something similar when she was young. Her mother was such a peculiar person and Shego knew that she got all of her quirks from the woman. She guessed that she should be thankful for that; she could have inherited her father's personality after all.

"So, how did you know where I lived?" Shego inquired in a bit of a defensive tone.

Her mother smiled a little, as if the question tickled her. "Come on, sweetie, you have to give your mother some credit."

"I know you came here because I was on TV."

"I promise you, I only saw it for a moment. I don't even know what really happened. I'm here for a seminar and I thought because I was in town and it had almost been two years, I should see you. Would you rather I left? You can go back to just being with your pet," her mother proposed.

"No," Shego mumbled. Deep down in a pit that she refused to acknowledge even existed, she missed her mother a bit and she would like to spend some time with the woman before they both got on each other's nerves.

"Do you want to talk about anything?"

"Not really."

"You could just tell me about your pet if you'd like. I don't need to know why you have one or anything, just about her."

Shego nodded and told her mother about Kim and nothing more. The teenager stayed up and listened to them go on about her. Shego did not say anything really awful about her pet; she merely told the truth, even though some of the things seemed bizarre. Kim was willing to bet by the end of the conversation her mistress' mother was convinced that she was a complete idiot.

Kim knew that she had to come off as an imbecile and not because of the things that she did around the house. It was just the fact that she was someone's pet. She was aware that most people believed no intelligent, self-respecting person would be another person's pet. She did note that her keeper's mother did not say anything in regards to her more than likely being brain-dead for being someone's pet.

After the discussion about her pet, Shego announced that she wanted to take a shower, even though Kim recalled that she had taken one already. Her mother decided that she would take her leave then. Shego told her mother that she could let herself out. They did not hug or even bid each other farewell as they went their separate ways, Shego to her room and her mother to the door.

Kim could not help it; she was curious about what just happened. It was such a strange interaction; it was like the mother and daughter liked being around each other, but could not stand being together at the same time. She silently hopped down from her space and decided to follow Shego's mother to find out why it seemed like she and Shego could only take each other in small doses, even though they appeared to get along rather well. They hardly made it down the street before Shego's mother stopped.

"Come on out," the older woman said.

"What?" Kim muttered. She could not possibly be talking to her, right?

"I know you're there."

"How'd you know?" Kim asked as she dropped in front of the raven-haired female.

"I taught her everything that she knows," Shego's mother answered.

"Yeah? That's cool," the redhead said for lack of a better thing to allow out of her mouth. She doubted that she would ever be able to come up with the right words to express what she was feeling by meeting the person that taught her mistress how to kick ass.

"Shego doesn't know that you can do that, does she?"

"Probably not. There's not really a need for me to do it around her," Kim answered. She could have been sneaky around Shego, but she preferred the direct approach. It was so much more fun to go right at Shego to hug her, or sleep in her bed, or things like that.

"I take it you have questions about my daughter."

"Tons," the teenager answered honestly.

"Perhaps we can exchange information then. Come, my hotel isn't too far from here."

The redhead nodded and followed behind the other woman. The hotel actually was far by most people's standards, by foot anyway, which was how they went. It was about three miles, but Kim hardly noticed. They did not really talk on the way. They came to the hotel, which looked elegant. They went up to rather nice hotel room and they both parked themselves in two chairs.

"First we should introduce ourselves, huh?" the mother suggested.

"Sounds fair. I'm Kim Possible," the redhead replied.

"Kim Possible? I've heard of you. It's quite a pleasure. I'm Isabel Gooding."

"Wow, really? Could I come to your seminar then? I'll be in a demonstration and everything. I don't mind if you kick me into a wall," Kim stated with a bit of enthusiasm. She was sitting in the presence of one of the most famous fighting women alive. Well, that explained why her mistress kicked serious butt. Wow, her mistress' mother was practically a superstar. She wondered why Shego never said anything about it or why her owner never spoke to her mother.

"Well, if your master let's you out, you can come along. I do think I made her cranky, though," the older woman commented.

"I don't see why. She seems like she likes you. I mean, she calls you 'mommy.' That's got to add up to something," the teen reasoned.

Isabel shook her head to disagree. "Shego loves and hates me. It's a very complex issue that takes a lifetime to build on." In retrospect, she could see the moments that she pushed Shego away and the moments that she held her close; she could see where their relationship got all muddled. She bet that her daughter saw them too.

Kim nodded to show that she accepted the answer that was given to her. So, Shego was one of those people that her mother screwed up, the redhead thought. Well, maybe it was not as much as screwed up because Kim did not think that Shego was so bad, but there were issues there.

"She doesn't know that I'm very proud of her and she tries so very hard to prove herself to me," Isabel informed the girl.

Oh, Kim's mind rang out; Shego was one of those people seeking her mother's approval. It did not seem like that, though. Maybe there was more to her than that; the redhead hoped that one day her mistress would tell her all about herself, so she would know just what Shego was about. She wanted to know as much as possible about her mistress.

"Why not just tell her that you're proud of her?" Kim asked.

"It's not that simple. She'll think I'm humoring her. She'll just try harder. It's happened before. There's more to it than that too," Isabel answered.

"Okay, care to tell me about that?"

"That would take a very long time. It would be like me having to tell you her life story until the time that she was about your age."

Kim nodded to show that she understood; she did not have time for a life story. After all, she had to get back home before her master noticed that she was missing in action. "Hey, what about telling me her real name," the teen requested.

Isabel shook her head and smiled a little bit. "I'll have to deny you that one. This is your master after all. I wouldn't want you to look down on her."

"Her name doesn't fit her, huh? Well, why does she call herself Shego?"

"That's her father's doing. He isn't completely sure what to do with her, even now. He tried to treat her like her brothers and nicknamed her accordingly. He treated her just like a little boy for a long time. You know, if I go into this, it could take a while. Are you sure you're allowed to be out late?" Isabel seemed to tease the girl.

"If she doesn't know, I guess it's all right. You know, I think I might just respect her privacy. I do want to know about her, but I think I'd rather that she tell me than to get it from you," Kim decided. It seemed wrong to her to go behind her owner's back and learn all of her secrets from her mother. What did a pet need to know such things for anyway, her mind asked her and she agreed with that logic.

"That's very noble. I can respect such a thing, but I can't do the same. Tell me what you can about my daughter, please. I will not repeat it," Isabel vowed.

Kim chewed on her lip for a second to think the request over. "I'll share a little bit," she answered. Her mistress was going to be so angry with her if she found out that she was sharing information; only a naughty pet would do such a thing. Oh, wait, she was a naughty pet.

"All right. The first thing, why are you, Kim Possible, her pet?" the older female inquired in a confused tone.

"She doesn't know who I am," the redhead replied with a shrug.

"You're not as famous as you should be. I would think that she would know, though."

"I'm fine being where I am."

The raven-haired woman nodded and then asked for simple information; well, it would have been simple information in regards to most people. She wanted to know that her daughter was all right, which Kim easily confirmed by pointing out how independent Shego was and giving a few examples to back up her answer. Isabel smiled softly; she knew that her strong-willed daughter could take care of herself. Shego always did want to be completely autonomous.

The older woman than wanted to know the second most important thing to a mother, the first thing was physical wellbeing. The second thing being emotional wellbeing and she wished to know if her daughter was happy. Kim made a face that showed the question was more complex than the few words made it sound.

"She always was a funny one when it came to happiness. Don't worry about it," Isabel told Kim.

"I can tell you this for sure, I try my best to make her happy," the teen promised.

"I thank you for that. Are you going to stay with her?"

"For as long as she lets me. So, you don't have to worry about her. I can make her smile, laugh, even relax."

"She should marry you," Isabel remarked.

The teenager laughed a bit. "Don't put any ideas in my head. Why is Shego all right with having a pet girl? Do you know?"

"Kim, Shego is a woman with superpowers, green skin, and a very strange family. If something weird isn't trying to hurt her, I don't think it really bothers her. If you want to bother her with the bizarre, turn to crime because if you're not breaking any laws, she's not too bugged about it. Well, try not to say anything foolish to her too or do anything foolish. She gets annoyed to no end by foolishness."

The redhead nodded. "That makes sense," she muttered in agreement. "So, why did you really come see her?"

"For the reason I said and because I saw her on TV. I wanted to make sure she was all right. I'm glad to see that she is in more ways than one."

"You're about the only one that thinks she's all right. Everybody else that knows about me and her thinks we're both bonkers."

"You should always surround yourself with people you like, no matter what. Life is just too short to have to deal with bullshit from people," Isabel commented and Kim could not help laughing because that sounded like something her owner would say.

* * *

Shego stood in her doorway and watched the front door open. She stared at her pet as she entered the apartment and silently closed the door. She ignited her hands and that got Kim's attention.

"Shego," Kim gasped; she should have known that her mistress would figure out that she was gone.

"Out pretty late, Pumpkin," Shego commented.

"Um…" Kim could not think of an excuse to feed her master about why she was gone so late. There was no way to dress up that she was out talking to Shego's mother to where it was not a lie, but it was a distortion of the truth.

"Speaking with my mother?" Shego growled.

"Yes," Kim sighed. She was probably going to have to spend all of tomorrow underneath her box because of her chat. Ah, it was still worth it.

"About me?" Shego asked, even though she knew the answer to that. It was not like her mother and her pet got together to discuss the possibility of there being life on other planets or to wax philosophically with each other.

"Yes."

"Why shouldn't I beat you within an inch of your life?" the master inquired with a deep frown on her face.

"Because I didn't say much and I didn't ask anything. I didn't even get the chance to find out your real name," the redhead admitted.

"No?"

"No, she didn't tell me."

Shego looked away as she returned her hands to normal. Kim stepped further into the apartment and stood by her master. The super-powered woman turned back to the girl and rested her hand in Kim's soft red mane.

"What did my mother ask?" Shego asked.

"Well, she wanted to know if you were all right in general. I told her the truth, yeah. You're totally fine. You're so good on your own that you're keeping a pet and she was glad to know that," Kim reported.

"And what else?"

"Then she asked if you were happy."

"And what did you say?"

"I told her I try my best to make you happy," the teenager answered.

Shego laughed a little bit. Kim was not sure what to think of the laugh; it could have been a skeptical sound or just a regular, amused laugh. She did not think too much on it. She knew how Shego felt about having her around and she knew what she was capable of when it came to her mistress. Kim looked at Shego to tell her one thing.

"She said she's proud of you," the redhead informed Shego.

Shego nodded a bit. "You know, Princess, sometimes life would be easiest if you were born without a family."

"I don't think life was made to be easy, unless you don't really want to live and you don't strike me as the type that doesn't want to live."

"Oh, look who's talking. Could your life get any easier?" Shego inquired and Kim laughed. The pale woman gently scratched her pet's head. "Look, Pumpkin, I'm in a giving mood and you already have the idea popped in your head, so, you want to sleep in the bed with me?"

"Do you even have to ask?" Kim replied.

"Not really, but you touch me, you die."

"Aw!" Kim groaned in disappointment. It was not any fun sharing a bed with Shego and not being allowed to touch. But, she hardly followed the rules. She was glad that Shego was used to the bizarre because that meant that she would probably keep her around as a pet for a good long time.

* * *

Next time: It will rain fire and brimstone… Okay, I'm lying there, but there will be fire and smoke. Drakken comes back and a certain pet will be neglected because her mistress will be working crazy hours. So, the pet will have to entertain herself, what's the worse that could happen?


	15. Problem Fifteen: Being a fire starter

So, about these characters, no, I don't own them. And about this idea of keeping someone as a pet, I so didn't think of it. Characters go to Disney. Idea goes to Yayoi Ogawa.

Problem fifteen: Being a fire starter…

_Owners don't really know their pets. Sure you know your dog or cat is happy when you come home, but what's really on your pet's mind? You just don't know and it's practically impossible to ever know what your pet really is all about because your pet can't tell you personally._

Shego was stuck on a stakeout. She hated stakeouts, but the one that she was on was not so bad. She was at least stuck in a small area with someone that she could loosely tolerate, Doctor Director. She guessed that she got stuck with the boss because the last time that she was on a stakeout with someone, they failed the assignment because she had been busy punching the crap out of the smart-mouth bastard in the car with her. Now, no one aside for Betty would even dare go on stakeout with the crank of the office, also known as Shego.

"How long are we going to sit here?" the pale woman asked with a yawn. She wished that she drank coffee to at least give her something to do and something to keep her wired. She had no idea how much she ran on rage until she was sitting still with no one to scream at. She considered that she might have to bring her pet on the next stakeout, which she hoped did not happen, if only to give her someone to abuse for a little while.

"Until we see something suspicious, hopefully before another building erupts into flames. What's the matter, want to go for another three minute round with Drakken?" Betty countered with a laugh.

"Oh, that's just cruel. This is why I never tell you anything," the younger woman commented.

"Are you kidding? You tell me more than you tell anybody else."

"I don't tell you as much as you think I do."

"I can find out."

"You don't have anything better to abuse your power on?" Shego inquired.

"Nothing as amusing, no," Doctor Director replied.

"I'm glad to know one of us is amused by my so-called sex life."

"You know, if you boxed in that same amount of time, I guarantee that you'd be less frustrated."

"I'd be less frustrated if this crazy arsonist would show up," Shego huffed.

"There's always a chance that the little fire-bug doesn't show up. It's not like he gives an exact time as to when he's going to start these fires and blow things up. He might not even strike tonight," the one-eyed woman pointed out.

"Oh, don't even tell me that. I don't want to have to be out here another night with you," the raven-haired woman groaned.

"You think I like being in a small space with you? Trust me, I'd rather spend my nights with more handsome company."

"Oh, don't act like you have a man."

"Don't get on my case because your man can only go for three minutes."

"I hate you," Shego said. And she wished that he could go for three minutes.

* * *

Shego marched into her apartment as the sun was climbing into the sky. Her eyes were half way open and she could barely shut the door because she did not feel like turning around just to look at it; she was not even sure how she managed to get the key in the lock to open the door in first place. Kim poked her head out from her loft with a dazed look in her olive green eyes as her owner stumbled into the apartment.

"How'd it go?" Kim yawned.

"Tell you later. Day off," Shego mumbled, only slightly aware that she even answered the question.

The teenager nodded and watched the older female stagger to her bedroom. Kim could understand why her mistress was so tired; over a week of working nineteen hours a day was enough to wear anybody out. At least it was her day off, so she could catch up on her rest. Maybe she could order pizza and Shego would not have to cook, the teen considered.

The redhead went back to sleep for a few more hours before she just had to get up. The teen could only sleep so late in the morning. She was surprised that Wade had not called with a mission or just to check on her, but she was not about to complain. She busied herself by reading while Shego slept the day away.

A knock at the door late in the afternoon got Kim down from her loft. She wanted to get it before the noise woke up her exhausted owner. She answered the door and was face to face with Drakken.

"Where's Shego?" he asked rudely.

"Sleeping," Kim answered.

"What?" he huffed as if the idea of the apartment owner sleeping offended him in someway. He pushed by the teenager to get into the apartment. "Shego!" he called loudly.

"Hey, she's sleeping," Kim repeated while hoping that she did not have to hurt the man to shut him up. Her mistress seriously deserved as much sleep as she could get.

"I don't care," he replied. "She needs to get up. It's four in the afternoon."

"She's got a very demanding job," the redhead pointed out while wondering where was the best place to hit him first to keep him from screaming anymore. She considered the throat; it was not like he used his voice for anything useful anyway. She doubted that she would get admonished too harshly for hurting him, especially if it saved her keeper from getting up.

"Shego!" Drakken bellowed again.

"What?" Shego snarled as she exited her bedroom. She was dressed in her pajamas and it looked like she had just woken up, mostly because she had just woken up thanks to Doctor Bigmouth. "What?" she repeated in an even more bothered tone.

"Why are you sleeping?" the scientist practically demanded to know.

"Because I'm tired, duh," she answered. She was tempted to ask what business was it of his, but she thought he might actually answer the question and really piss her off.

"Should I disappear for a little while?" Kim inquired, speaking to the other woman. She knew that Shego did not care if she was there or not, but she gathered that Drakken did not like her very much and would most likely prefer that she made herself scarce.

"Might as well take some money with you," the raven-haired woman replied. She did not think that her pet needed to suffer through Drakken, especially since he seemed to have some kind of problem with the girl. Why he had a problem with her, the ladies just could not figure it out.

"Yes, ma'am." Kim saluted.

The pale woman shook her head to her pet's behavior while the redhead went to grab some clothes. The teen quickly dressed and grabbed money that Shego was holding in her hand. She kissed Shego on the cheek and made her getaway. She noted on her way out that Drakken frowned even deeper than he was already doing when she stopped to kiss her master on the cheek.

Kim actually wished that she could stop and brag about how easily she kissed Shego compared to Drakken; he made it seem like such a chore when he kissed the green-skinned woman. The redhead sometimes wished that she could tell him that she got to sleep next to Shego almost every night and how she rubbed up against the older woman. He would probably choke on his own fury, she thought with a laugh as she started down the street.

Shego turned to look at Drakken. "So, what can I do for you?" she inquired and she hoped that he had a good answer with the way he had been hollering for her. She would have thought the man was dying and somehow she was the only one that could save him from the way he was calling her.

"I came to spend the day with you," he replied.

"And that's why you were yelling like you were raised in the boondocks?" she inquired while considering the consequences of just putting her hands through his chest. She really could not see the downside because he would die and she could go back to sleep; it seemed like a very good plan to her. Yet, she did not go through with it.

"I needed to get your attention," he pointed out as a reason for why he had been shrieking her name like a wounded owl.

The pale female rolled her eyes; she could not believe the man sometimes. It was like he had no idea how to act like a semi-civilized being. She guessed that she should just appreciate the fact that he wanted to spend time with her. It was good that a boyfriend wanted to spend time with his girlfriend, she reminded herself.

She still could not help thinking how she would rather be sleeping and how he not only did not respect that, he did not call before coming over. He just was not considerate and he had interrupted the flow of her day with his presence. She had planned on sleeping and then watching a movie with her neglected pet.

Yes, she had been neglecting her pet and she knew it. The stakeout thing was killing her. She had hardly been home a couple of hours for the past week. She had been there enough to make some meals for her pet and that was about it. She was surprised the little brat was not complaining of maltreatment from the way that she had been home very sporadically thanks to her job.

* * *

Kim returned home later that night and thought that she might at least be able to sleep in Shego's bed if nothing else. It would be nice to have a warm body next to her after a long day of being worked by Wade. She made it to her owner's bedroom and heard what she thought was a girl crying.

Now Kim thought something was wrong. Her owner never cried, except for one time during an incredibly sentimental movie with an equally tragic ending, but only a couple of tears came out that time and she had not made a sound that time. The thing that was wrong was that Kim could tell that was not her mistress weeping.

"Are you actually crying?" Kim heard Shego ask in disbelief.

The teen almost gasped because she now knew that it was not her mistress that was crying, which meant that it was Drakken crying. Every decent, good fiber in her being was telling her that she should go to bed and not listen to whatever was going on between her mistress and the woman's lover. But, for every good thing, there was a mischievous fiber telling her that she should stay and listen. At least she would be entertained and she was owed that much since she was sleeping alone tonight. Oh, yeah, she was definitely staying now.

* * *

"Why are you crying?" Shego asked Drakken. She was sitting up on her bed. She had hoped that he would fall asleep and that way she could have a cigarette or five, but he remained awake much to her dismay. She did not smoke with him around and conscious because he made a big deal about his precious lungs and the dangers of secondhand smoke; well, the firsthand smoke was slowly killing her, but she did not gripe about it.

"It's…just…It's…I love you so much," he said while wiping his eyes.

"Drakken, do you ever bother to listen to yourself?" she inquired in a drained tone. She did not sound that way because she was physically tired either. He just wore on her mentally.

"Of course I do. Why?"

"Just checking."

Shego was not too sure if he truly listened to himself or maybe things just sounded better in his head. She hated to think that he actually believed his own crap. She also hated to think that their two minute round of sex was what had him believing that he loved her.

* * *

Kim tiptoed away from the door because she no longer wanted to hear a grown man crying without death or at least pain being involved. She wondered why Shego did not just tell him off for being such a worm. She was aware that the super-powered woman was skeptical that Drakken knew how to love something, so she should just call him on that, the teen thought.

The redhead decided not to think about Shego and her relationship with Drakken because it would keep her up at night if she did. She climbed up to her space and flopped down in her own bed. She sighed; she really desired to sleep next to Shego. She fell asleep fairly quickly, even though she would have preferred to be near her mistress.

Shego, on the other hand, did not fall asleep for a while. Once Drakken thankfully stopped crying, and he had been at that for nearly an hour, he finally fell asleep. She went to have a cigarette and noted that she only had two left; she had smoked a whole pack of cigarettes in less than a month and two packs in about three months. She shook her head to that knowledge; a pack of cigarettes used to last her for about half a year or longer since she had "quit" smoking. Before Drakken came along, she could not even recall the last time that she considered smoking. She decided not to think too much on it and just smoke her last pair of cigarettes in peace. She made a mental note to buy more when she had the chance.

* * *

"I can't believe you still smoke," Betty commented as Shego got back into the car. They were back on stakeout for the serial arsonist. The little firebug had bragged to them about hitting a building on the block that they were; if only he would leave a specific time frame along with all of his boasting.

"I can't believe it either," Shego replied as she put her cigarettes in the glove compartment; she had actually walked to the corner store while on duty to go buy more cigarettes. She put them away because she would rather not have anything in her hands since she planned on chasing the annoying arsonist tonight.

See, the last stakeout that they had been on, Shego went after the arsonist while Doctor Director and others worked on the fire that the lunatic started. The green-skinned officer had never seen an arsonist do the things that the person did while getting away, which let her know why her department was involved; not to mention, the arsonist had been taunting their department almost exclusively. The little fire-starter sent their department messages to give them clues about what was going to be set ablaze next like he was the Jack the Ripper of the fire world and, by everyone's count, the arsonist was winning the war.

When Shego chased the criminal the last time, the firebug had been perched on a street light; he had practically swaggered in a message informing them that he liked to watch his work. She had spotted the guy and fired a plasma blast at him; well, they were assuming it was a guy, even though the criminal dressed in all black, was skinny, and short, pretty much looking genderless. The arsonist did not think anything of it when the blast came his way and swung from the light to a building room.

Shego had hardly believed her eyes with the way that the criminal had easily gotten to the roof. She ran up after him and it seemed like he waited for her to get up before taking off to make his escape. He took off like a shot, dashing across the buildings like it was something the law breaker did everyday. Shego had been running around for a few hours before the arsonist hopped off a building and disappeared into the shadows below. When Shego got to the bottom of the building, by way of jumping also, the only thing down there was a garbage can.

The green-skinned woman had been dumbfounded to say the least and the little bastard sent a message to her the following day. The arsonist had the nerve to ask "…did the officer with the green fire like my little trick?" Shego was going to set that little firebug ablaze when she got her hands on him. Nobody tried to play her for a fool, especially a criminal. Nobody made her run around half the day either when she had other work to do that same day.

"Still fuming about the one that got away?" Doctor Director inquired while watching Shego clench and unclench her fists.

"I can't believe the moves that kid had and I'm pretty damn sure he just disappeared when he jumped off of that building," Shego replied.

"If he can disappear that would explain one of the reasons why we're here."

"I wonder who the hell he is."

"We still don't know," the one-eyed woman said.

"Come on, what do we even pay most of the intelligence people for then? How many fire-starting-building-jumpers are there in this damn city?" the super-powered woman inquired with a huff.

"Obviously more than you think. This kid doesn't leave behind many clues aside for the fact that he used combustible chemicals that need to mix together to start his fires."

"Can't we just trace the chemicals then?"

"You can find these chemicals in many high schools or college labs, which makes it a little hard to trace them," the brown-haired woman replied.

"Damn it," Shego groaned. If they continued on as they were, they would just end up watching the disappearing arsonist for the rest of their lives and she had little desire to do that. She did have a pet to take care of, after all.

* * *

Kim went out on a mission, which she was rather thankful for. Being in the apartment alone was not much fun and she was glad whenever she could get out, even if it was to go do something dangerous. She went out and retrieved a scientific device that the inventors did not want to tell her what it did. The Possible in her came out full force for about a minute when talking with the scientists and she ran through everything that she had gathered from the device just from retrieving it. She eventually guessed what it was and the scientists shooed her out of their lab as if she had done something very wrong.

The redhead got back to Go City rather late, but she was almost certain that Shego was not home yet. She knew that her master was back to the stakeouts and she would be out until the sun came up at the least, which meant that Kim would be alone if she went home. She did not want to go home then.

The teen hero decided to wander the streets of Go City. There was always a chance that something fun might present itself because there was no short supply of entertaining things going on in Go City.

The redhead wandered into the park near the apartment; it was the park that she and Shego spent a great deal of time in back when her mistress had the time for her anyway. She noticed that there were a few people out jogging; it always baffled her why people went jogging at all insane hours of the day and then wondered why something happened to them. She started jogging too; she figured that she should get some exercise in, even though she did not really require it. And then she found something that kept her attention.

Behind some bushes and trees, Kim caught glimpses of a woman struggling against four men. The hero sprang into action immediately, almost automatically, especially when she saw that they were binding and gagging the woman. The teen came in with spinning kicks and took down all of the men with ease. Before the men could fully comprehend what was going on, all of them hit the dirt and Kim smirked at them.

"If you're smart, you'll run," Kim remarked lightheartedly.

The guys did not listen and they pulled out weapons, two guns and two switchblades. Kim continued to smirk confidently, which did not bother the thugs. They went at the teen hero and she quickly disarmed them. They fell back while she picked up a switchblade and used it to free the bound woman.

"Ma'am, I'd go home if I were you," Kim informed the woman, who nodded and ran off. Kim turned her attention back to the group of fiends as they tried to get their heads together and come to grips with the pain that she inflicted on their hands.

"You again," a familiar voice barked and that caused the teenage girl to turn around.

The redhead saw three huge men in blue uniforms; one was a bald man, the other one was a redhead and the last one was a brunette. They looked very familiar to her, but the memory was extremely hazy. She stared at them a moment before she knew all too well who they were.

"You're the guys that put me that box," Kim realized.

"We told you before to go home, little girl. You're butting into grown folks business," the bald male informed her.

"Did you guys beat me too?" Kim inquired curiously because she recalled them and she knew that they had dropped her in the box, but she could not recall if they had been the ones that injured her.

"No, we didn't beat you up. Do we look that sick? We wouldn't beat up a little girl," the bald man, Dash Damond balked at the idea.

"All right. You made me dizzy during a fight, though…against some bad guys," Kim remembered. She had been fighting with some people that robbed a very exclusive jewelry store and then the three men before her showed up. They threw some dust at her while barking at her about doing their job. "Who the hell are you guys?" she demanded to know. She was rather peeved that they had knocked her out and put her in a box after allowing her to be injured thanks to that dust.

"Team Impossible and you're doing our job again. Haven't you learned anything?" Dash inquired.

"Nope," Kim answered with a smile.

"That's it."

"I probably should start running now," she muttered.

"That would be smart."

Kim, having little desire to end up in a box and maybe even in another city altogether, took off running. She recalled running from them before. It seemed like such a long time ago, but it was barely a year ago. She tried to recollect everything that happened that night, but it was cloudy. She guessed that it had to do with the fact that they had drugged her and she did not want to give them another chance to do so. She did not want to chance ending up somewhere else thanks to them, so she dashed off and they chased her.

"Can't we talk this over like mature adults?" Kim called to the team.

"We're doing this for your own good," Dash tried to assure the girl. She rolled her eyes.

"I'm so sure," she muttered. She did not see how drugging her and placing her in a box was for her own good, even though it worked out very well.

* * *

Shego was ready to fall asleep. Their arsonist had not shown up for once and that left her bored; not to mention the fact that she had only gotten two hours of sleep for most of the week and the one day that she had planned on catching up on her rest, that had been shot to pieces. She had planned on chasing that little firebug and showing him a real flare to put an end to the stakeouts and the taunting, but it seemed like she was going to have to deal with all for a little while longer. Then a building went up in flames.

"Looks like our friend struck again," Doctor Director commented dryly.

The pair was about to get out of the car to scan all directions for their little arsonist, but suddenly something else had their attention. A redhead slid across the hood of their car right before their eyes. The redhead continued on across the street without taking any notice of the two in the car.

"Was that Princess?" Betty asked in a puzzled tone and then three males went across the car too.

"Was that Team Impossible?" Shego inquired in a similarly bewildered voice.

"What in the hell is going on?"

"Something annoying, no doubt. I'm going," the younger woman declared and she got out of the car.

The super-powered female chased after Team Impossible, who in turn continued on after Kim. The raven-haired woman also kept an eye open for the arsonist, but she never caught sight of the criminal. The chase ended when Kim came to a bridge and did not hesitate in jumping over the side to escape. She did a dive that would have probably medaled in the Olympics right into the Go River below. Shego could not believe her eyes.

"Hey, what were you guys chasing after that girl for?" Shego demanded to know from Team Impossible.

"Because she's a little punk," the bald man replied.

"Did she break the law?"

"Yeah," was the blatant answer and Team Impossible was gone before she could ask any more questions.

Shego stared down into the river; it was a long way down and the river was not a calm one. She wondered if her pet had died in that very impressive jump. She would be surprised if the girl was uninjured if she had the good fortune to live.

She wondered what those muscle-headed, shaved apes had been doing chasing after her frightened pet. She pondered what her pet might have done that was against the law. She could not think of anything at the moment.

* * *

Kim swam down river for a while before she was able to climb out of the rapidly moving water. She wrung out her hair while grumbling under her breath about snobby law enforcement agents and their immoral practices for chasing people for helping. She started walking toward her home while continuing to mumble heatedly about Team Impossible.

She silently admitted to herself that was a great jump and if she even had a chance, she would like to do it again. She wished that those men had left her alone. She knew that they were on the side of justice because she had heard of them vaguely, so she would not fight with them unless it was absolutely necessary. She knew that they would not physically hurt her if they caught her, but she would rather avoid whatever else they had in mind for her; after all, they had been the ones that drugged her and left her unconscious in a box.

The redhead marched into the apartment well after sunrise. The noise that occurred when opening and shutting the door alerted Shego that her pet was home. She crawled out of bed and exited her room. She nearly gasped when she saw her pet alive, well, and very wet.

"Where have you been?" Shego demanded to know.

"Everywhere," Kim answered with a forced laugh.

"Why are you all wet?" the older woman inquired, waiting to just hear the lie that had to come from her pet.

"I went into the river," Kim answered honestly.

"The river? Why?" Shego asked. She felt that the girl was going to have to lie sometime and she just wanted to catch her pet not telling the truth.

"Well, when you go over a bridge, there's really the only way to go. Is it all right if I take a shower?"

The pale woman motioned with her hand to the bathroom to let the teen know that it was all right for her to go take a shower. Kim went into the bathroom while Shego went back to her bedroom. She wondered about her pet now.

There was obviously more to the teen than anything she had been showing since she came to live with Shego. Shego would have called it surviving by dumb luck, but there was also the fact that the girl had outran Team Impossible and had jumped off of that bridge with no sign of fear on her face. She did not appear scared at all during the time that she was running, so it went way beyond dumb luck. Kim was certainly hiding something, but what was that something?

Shego pondered on things and wondered if Kim might have had something to do with the arsons around the city. She knew that it was a leap to think such a thing, but Team Impossible had said the girl broke the law and Kim had streaked by as soon as that building went up in flames. She jumped from that bridge so easily, just like the arsonist had leaped off of the building.

The raven-haired woman thought about the build of the arsonist and Kim was of a similar build. Well, she was of similar build in the way that she was smaller than Shego and she was skinny. Shego wondered if it was possible that her pet was the serial arsonist and those testosterone-charged egomaniacs from Team Impossible knew.

But, the question stood, how did those guys know if Kim was the arsonist…unless they stumbled across her setting up chemicals to start the fire? Shego was not too sure if her logic added up. The messages that they had been getting did not sound anything like her pet. Her pet did not know anything about science or chemicals. The girl had no reason to start fires anyway.

But then Shego thought, what did she really know about her stupid pet? She did not even know the girl could use the stove without accidentally killing them until a few weeks ago. She did not know that the teenager had any moves of any kind until just a few hours ago, seeing her dive from that bridge.

* * *

"Shego, what's up?" Betty asked when her friend entered her office.

"I was thinking about this arsonist," the younger woman replied.

"Yeah, and?"

"You said that the fires were started with combustible chemicals, right?"

"Yeah."

"So, the arsonist would need chemicals and things. Do you want to search my apartment for them?" Shego proposed casually.

"What? Why?" the boss inquired in a confused voice.

"Maybe it's Pumpkin," Shego offered slowly.

"She's not smart enough to do something like this," Doctor Director replied in a dismissive tone. She thought it was laughable to think that girl could wave goodbye without possibly hurting herself, so she was fairly certain that the little brat did not have the brain power to set fire to a building and avoid capture for so long.

"Or so she acts. I'm starting to think there's more to Pumpkin than we know," the raven-haired officer commented.

"And you think she'd be crazy enough to burn down buildings knowing that you're on the job to bring in the lunatic?"

"Last night, I saw her jump off of a bridge into Go River like she was a professional diver. She survived with hardly a scratch on her. She was there when the building went up in smoke and she's speedy little thing. We never did spot the arsonist that night she went by. I think we should check it out," Shego explained.

"Fine, it's your house and she's your pet," Betty replied with a shrug.

* * *

Shego and Betty waited for Kim to be out of the house before conducting their search. They climbed up to the loft space and looked around. They saw that they were in a mess; there were books everywhere. Betty picked up a book that was closest to her and read a few words of it.

"This is theoretical physics," the chief muttered in an amazed and bemused tone. What the hell was her friend's pet doing with something so advanced?

"Anatomy?" Shego wondered aloud when she noticed a couple of books off to her right.

They started to notice a trend with most of the books that were lying around as they moved deeper into the space; they were all books on some kind of science or mathematics. Betty spied a duffle bag in the corner and went over to it. She pulled it out and felt the weight of it; it was rather heavy.

"Hey, here's a bag," the one-eyed woman called to her friend. Shego went over to Betty and they opened the bag. They gasped when they saw the bags contents.

* * *

Next time: Apparently, Kim has a brain, who knew? Certainly not Shego and she comes to realize that she doesn't know anything about her pet, leaving her very suspicious of the girl. What's in the bag? And how in the hell does Shego manage to piss Kim off? Yes, Shego angers Kim and not the other way around.


	16. Problem Sixteen: Angering your pet

Still don't own the characters or the premise.

Problem sixteen: Angering your pet…

_Imagine that your fish was angry with you, would you notice? Would you care? What if your dog was upset with you and remained that way after you attempted to bribe the dog with treats? What do you do with a pet like that?_

Kim was helping Monique pack up her things to move out since school had come to a close and the fashion queen required assistance with her stuff. The chocolate-eyed girl stated that she needed the Possible genius that was Kim to mathematically calculate how to cram all of her things into her tiny car. The redhead made it feasible to put all of the stuff into the small vehicle, but she hoped that no one else had to get into the automobile because not even she would be able to figure out how that would work and she was the girl that could do anything. Well, she supposed a passenger could always ride on the roof or the hood, but there were probably laws against that. There was also the issue of Monique needing to see behind her now that all of the stuff was in the car.

"I hope your driving has improved and you don't really need all three mirrors," Kim commented with a teasing smile.

"I can drive, girl. You know it and I know it," Monique declared.

"You can do a lot of things, driving isn't one of them."

"I can drive. So, will I be seeing you back in Middleton some time soon or are you just staying here?"

"I don't really know."

"Kim…" Monique sighed. What was she going to do with her girl? She hated just watching someone like Kim wasting away. It was not right for someone like Kim to just not do anything.

"Monique, can you just let me not know something, please?" the redhead implored desperately. She was so sick of hearing about the stupid subject. It was pounding in the back her head everyday, hounding her, and people bringing it up every three seconds just was not helping. Why could they not understand that they were not helping?

"You haven't known for a long time. You need to know something. You can't keep this up. You need to do something."

"I will…" Kim vowed weakly.

"Soon," Monique stressed.

The teen hero groaned. "I hate knowing stuff. I hate this. I'm going to go bang my head against a wall until I am on the same intellectual level as a rock."

"Yeah, right. No Possible would think to do such a thing and you're a Possible. You just need to figure out which branch you're on. Look, I want to see you home before I have school again. If I don't, you're going to really upset me, girl," Monique warned her friend.

Kim only laughed, even though she thought that Monique might make good on her threat and she doubted that she wanted to see what kind of punishment the designer could come up with because Monique could be very creative when necessary. She bid her good friend farewell. They kissed each other on the cheek and Monique hopped into her car. Kim waved as her friend drove off. Monique wondered if she would have to wait for school to start again before she saw her dear friend.

"If only the girl could just make a decision on this," Monique muttered.

* * *

"What the hell are these?" Shego muttered as she and Betty started to pull out all sorts of advanced science books from the duffle bag that had been sitting in the corner of the loft. They flipped through them and noticed that there were different color highlights all through out the pages and notes written in every margin space possible.

"Chem. books," Doctor Director said while pulling out chemistry books that were at the bottom of the bag. There were six thick, paperback chemistry books in a bag that held over fourteen books. They looked just as used as the other books that they were sharing a bag with.

"What's she doing with all of these fucking science books?" Shego wondered out loud.

"Hell if I know. You're the one that suggested going through her stuff. From what I can see, you were right about one thing, she probably isn't as stupid as she acts," the one-eyed woman commented.

"Okay…what now?" the emerald-eyed woman asked in a bewildered voice. She was so confused. Her pet was into science? Deeply into advanced science from what she could tell because of how used the books were and all of the notes that were penned inside of them. But, the girl acted so… well, stupid.

"Are you okay?" Betty inquired because of her friend's bemused tone. She guessed that the knowledge that not only might her pet be smart and acting, but also a criminal was a bit heavy, even for the apathetic Shego.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Maybe we should clean this stuff up before she comes in," the younger woman suggested in a distant tone.

"Why? She probably won't notice considering the way the place looked before we even got here," the chief figured.

"Yeah, well, let's at least put the books back in the bag and try to make it look like we didn't just rip through her stuff," Shego replied.

Betty shrugged and did not argue any further, even though she did not see how the brat would have any right to gripe if she did know that they had been going through her stuff; she was getting free room and board for crying out loud. They put the books back into the duffle bag and put the bag back into the corner. They then put back whatever books they could if they recalled where they had gotten them from. They tried to stack the books like they were before they went up there. They left the loft after that.

"You know, just because she's got chem. books doesn't mean she's the arsonist. She didn't have any chemicals up there," the boss pointed out.

"I know," her friend answered.

There was more to it than her "Princess" possibly being an arsonist in Shego's mind. She realized that she did not know anything about her pet, except that she had strange friends and was a freelance cheerleader. But, other than that she did not know anything and she had had the girl for over a year.

The teenager seemed to be as dumb as dirt and incapable of tying her shoe without serious assistance; in fact, in the beginning of their relationship, Shego often found herself fixing her pet's shoelaces until she just went out and bought the simple kid some slip-on sneakers to solve the problem of laces altogether. But, if that was the case, why did the girl have so many science books, many of which were so worn that it appeared she had read them a hundred times? To Shego, it seemed like she was being played somehow and she did not like being played.

* * *

Kim came in and spent the evening with Shego as usual. They lounged around on the sofa. Shego did ask what Kim had done all day and she explained that she helped Monique move out.

"School's over then?" Shego asked.

"Yup," Kim answered.

"So, where does your little friend live when there's no school?"

"Middleton."

"And your stupid friend?"

"Ron isn't stupid," Kim argued, knowing that she was referring to him.

"The few times I've seen him, he's been stupid."

"Well, he does weird things, but he isn't stupid. He's got an apartment in town. I don't know if he's going to go home or not for the summer," the teenager reported.

Shego was going to ask what Kim had planned for the summer. Her friends had homes, so she thought that her pet might have one too. Why did her pet not go home?

* * *

Kim climbed up into her space to prepare for bed. She looked around and laughed a little bit. She shook her head and gathered up some of her books. She looked down at the page of one book.

"I don't believe I was on page 253 yet," the redhead commented to herself and then she turned her attention to one of her book stacks. "And I do believe I had a book on different skeletal structures at the bottom of that pile. Not to mention my book on the human circulatory system is nowhere to be seen. Hmm…"

The teenager went through her things and found that there was a lot amiss. She laughed a bit to herself again, but decided not to think too much on the fact that she knew her mistress had gone through her stuff. After all, she had gone through Shego's things on plenty of occasions, so it was only right for the older woman to return the favor. She guessed that Shego did not know that the area was actually organized chaos and not pure anarchy because if she had known, she would have put everything back where she found it and Kim would have been none the wiser to the infringement on her privacy.

The teen hero put her books back the way that she liked them and wondered what her mistress thought as she went through all of her property. Her belongings did not consist of much; a lot of her things were science, math, and some philosophy books. She had a few other things like cuddle buddies and things, but Shego had bought those things for her, so there was not much of a surprise for the super-powered woman there. The books had to be a bit shocking, though.

Was her owner stunned to find out that she could read? That she was not as stupid as a can of paint? That she could do something without messing it up? She was not sure how Shego would take it. She hoped that the older female did not read too much into or she was going to be angry for no reason, or at least the wrong reason.

"It's just books, right?" the redhead said to herself with an unsure laugh.

The redhead looked at the books. Yeah, they were just books; nothing more than books. Many of them were books read by people trying to achieve doctorates in scientific fields. But, that was no big…right?

Kim hopped down from her space and took a shower. She prepared for bed long after Shego had gone to sleep. She kept asking herself, what harm could come from her mistress knowing what kind of books she read? She tried to convince herself that it was nothing to worry about, but it was not helping. She felt a steady, uneasy feeling building inside of her.

The teen eventually went to Shego's room after tossing and turning her own bed. She eased into the bed and curled up next to her mistress. It was all right, Kim silently promised herself. Everything was all right because she was still just Shego's pet. She was still with Shego.

* * *

Shego woke up with her pet pressed against her and holding onto her arm like a frightened child would clutch a security blanket. From the scrunched up look on her face, the officer assumed the teen was having a bad dream. She was probably dreaming about having a real job, Shego thought as a joke.

The pale woman stared down at Kim for a moment. What did she know about the girl really? She did not know where the teen came from, why she was not with her family, why she was not in school like her wacky friends, or even why she agreed to be a pet, nothing. She did not even know why the girl was a cheerleader. She did not seem to be trying to be a professional cheerleader or a professional anything. She did not know a thing about the kid.

Kim groaned as she woke up and noticed how she was holding her owner. She guessed that she woke up first, which would have been a first if it was true. She thought that she woke up first because there was no outraged yelling or a sudden change in the room temperature thanks to Shego starting her hands up, but she glanced up and learned the truth. She laughed sheepishly while staring into Shego's stern emerald green eyes.

"Pumpkin, what's the rule?" Shego asked.

"No sleeping in your bed without your permission," Kim answered.

"And what were you just doing?"

"Sleeping in your bed without your permission."

"You've got five seconds to move it."

Kim shot out of the bed with her mistress hot on her heels. She bolted out to the living room and slid on the floor, suffering some carpet burns on her legs since she was in shorts, and came to halt safely underneath her box. That did not stop Shego from pounding on the top of the box several times with her fists.

"Stop hitting my box!" Kim whined.

"Come out and take your thrashing then," the older woman replied.

"Stop it!" the teenager wailed again.

"Come out."

"No, only if you stop being mad."

The apartment owner shook her head; her pet was such a pathetic creature all of the time. Always whiny and everything; simply being pathetic. But, if her pet was so pitiful, why had she so daringly leaped from that very high bridge without any thought or fear? It bothered Shego the more that she thought about it.

"Come on out, Princess. We'll have some pancakes for breakfast," Shego offered in a distant tone. Her thoughts had displaced her anger.

"Really? With cinnamon?" Kim asked, not leaving her cardboard fortress. For all she knew, the pancakes could be a trick and the older female would get her once she came out from under the box.

"Sure, why not," the elder woman answered with a shrug.

Kim only came out from under the box when she smelled the food cooking because that way she knew that the suggestion had not been some ploy to lore her out into the open and get hit with something like a pillow; her master was good for hitting her with pillows when she least suspected it. She went to the table while Shego put her plate down and put Kim's plate down. The teenager dove into the meal of pancakes and scrambled eggs; she loved it when Shego made pancakes, especially with cinnamon. The elder woman sat down and started eating too.

"So, what're we going to do today? We can go to the park and play Frisbee. We haven't done that in a really long time," the redhead pointed out.

"Because it's stupid and boring," Shego replied.

"Well, how else am I supposed to get exercise? You never play with me anymore!" the teen whined. She would have thrown a tantrum, but she had pancakes to eat at the moment and those were more important.

"I've got work to do. I don't have time to always spend playing with a crybaby punk like you. You know you should try working too, you little whiny, begging, crybaby leech," the officer barked.

Kim, for once, actually looked offended by the insult. She suddenly stopped eating her favorite breakfast and retreated back to her box. She crawled underneath the cardboard container and stayed there. Shego scoffed.

"Sulk all you want. You're not hurting me by not eating," the apartment owner said.

The teenager did not respond and she remained underneath her box. Shego ignored her pet and finished her breakfast. She then went to the sofa to relax; it was thankfully her day off. She turned on the television to keep her mind busy and that way, she would avoid looking at that stupid box that her stupid pet was moping under. She was just trying to get attention, Shego told herself.

Kim eventually came out from under the box and went to her loft. The pale woman watched the teen carry herself like a wounded goat to her part of the place, but she did not say anything to the girl. Kim stayed up in her area and Shego soon began to realize that she was bored.

"Why am I so bored? I don't do anything but lounge here all day when I'm off," the officer said to herself and then looked down into her lap, something was missing.

The raven-haired woman glanced up at the loft and then she turned away. She did not care if the teen was going to throw a temper tantrum because she told her the truth. She needed to get used to hearing the truth; the real world would tell her the truth all time once she stopped being a brat and got into it.

The redhead tried to work her way out of being upset, but it was not working. Shego never called her a leech or suggested that she go find a job; she was just a pet after all. She was supposed to be lazy and irresponsible; oh, what a crock, she told herself.

She knew that she was upset because Shego's words just let her know that she was not going to be able to do what she was doing forever. It went beyond being Shego's pet. It went to being who she was in general. Things just could not stay the way that they were forever because that was just the way life was; things changed all the time.

"I've got to do something, don't I? But, what?" Kim asked herself; she still did not know. She did not even want to know anymore.

* * *

Shego was back on stakeout with Doctor Director. They were watching yet another building that was expected to go in flames. Betty was silent because she noted almost immediately that her friend was in a rotten mood. She knew that it was one of two things that had the younger female stressed; either Shego's moronic boyfriend did something or her idiotic pet did something. She was scared to find out which it was because both were ridiculous, Drakken more so than "Princess" though, which she thought was rather sad.

"Okay, what happened?" Doctor Director asked after a long while. The suspense and tension hanging in the air thanks to her friend was getting to her.

"Nothing," Shego huffed.

Nothing tended to translate into pet problems, Betty knew. Pet problems were more embarrassing than man problems to Shego for some reason, her good friend gathered. She guessed that the thing with her pet was that Shego was not supposed to care; her pet was just some dumb, hopeless girl after all. Betty decided not to press the issue because she thought that her pale friend was best at resolving pet issues on her own; she would only suggest using a rolled up newspaper on the brat anyway.

"Hey, is that the kid?" Shego asked as she pointed above them and to the left at a figure on top of a five-story building.

"You're the one with two good eyes," Doctor Director replied.

"You're right about that. I'm going to kick his or her ass."

"Even if it's Pumpkin?"

"Especially if it's Pumpkin," Shego declared. The little spoiled monster had ruined her day off by making her feel bad and then had the nerve to not even accept an apple pie as an apology.

The boss nodded while Shego got out of the car. She made her way to the rooftop quickly and silently; a feather falling made more noise than she did. The figure noticed Shego when she was a few feet away and the chase was on. The officer pursued the criminal in all black while a building across the street burst into flames. Shego sucked her teeth.

"I'm sick of chasing this demented punk," the law officer decided.

The emerald-eyed female charged up her hands and began tossing plasma blasts at the arsonist's feet. The criminal dodged rather well and avoided being tripped up by the projectiles. The raven-haired woman growled as the arsonist practically glided to the next rooftop.

"Right, fine. You want to do this like an expert. I'll treat you like an expert," Shego said to the air.

The officer put her hands close to each other and formed an energy sphere between her hands as she continued to chase the fire-starter. She waited for the criminal to jump and now there was no way to dodge, so Shego hit the person in the middle of the lower back with the plasma ball. The figure let out a pained groan and fell to the next rooftop. Shego followed and found the person lay flat out as if struck by lightning; the body was actually smoking a little bit.

"Stings like a bitch, doesn't it?" the law enforcement agent gloated. "You should've done that disappearing stunt when you had the chance, moron. Now, you move and it'll get a lot worse than some fucking stinging."

The officer roughly grabbed the suspect by the collar, causing the person to groan again. Shego unmasked the person and she did not know what to think when she saw who the person was, or more specifically who it was not. The criminal was not her pet.

* * *

"I knew it wasn't her," Betty said as she and Shego rid themselves of the suspected arsonist. Later on, a squad of police officers would find enough evidence at the suspect's home to charge and convict the young woman, who as it turned out could not disappear, but she could morph into inanimate objects.

"Yeah, right," Shego scoffed.

"I did," the boss insisted.

"Uh-huh."

"Come on, she's not malicious, no matter what."

"It still leaves me with two questions, though," Shego commented.

"Which are?"

"Why the hell Team Impossible was chasing after her and what the hell she's doing with all of those fucking science books."

"That's true," the chief concurred.

* * *

Shego went home and was not greeted her usual hug. She thought that her girl might be sleeping on the sofa, but, no, the sofa was vacant. She then checked the loft space and there was her teen, brooding as she had been for the past few days. It was getting on Shego's nerves; she did not have a pet to feed, clothe, bathe, and the whole bit to be ignored by the little brat.

The green-skinned female went to get comfortable in the house and then she made dinner. Kim came down from the loft when she smelled the food cooking. She ate quietly and quickly, just as she had done the past few days. Shego had expected such behavior, but was not sure how to go about getting her pet to stop.

She had tried yelling already, but that did not get a reaction from her down-and-out pet. She had then tried to apologize and made an apple pie, only to be rebuffed. She was not sure what else to do; what did her pet want?

The older female sighed; she needed to get an idea that had better fix the problem or she was going to resort to just beating the kid with a rolled up newspaper like Doctor Director always suggested. She knew that Kim was going to retreat back to her loft when she was done eating, which the teen tried to do, but Shego put a stop to that. The elder female pitched a ball at the redhead as soon as she was at the ladder that led to the loft.

Kim caught the ball without thinking. As soon as she realized what she had done, she turned to look at Shego to get a gage on her owner's reaction. Shego did not appear affected by what happened; although, inside she was just more curious about the teen now. Kim waited for questions to come thanks to her quick reflexes.

"Bring it back," Shego ordered.

"Huh?" Kim said.

"We can't play fetch if you don't bring it back," Shego pointed out.

"Oh, yeah," Kim replied with a laugh and then she did as she was commanded to do.

* * *

Next time: Curious-er and curious-er does Shego grow as her pet continues to do amazing things. What is she to do now that she knows her pet is not what she thought the girl was?


	17. Problem Seventeen: Mental slips

Don't own the characters and I don't own the premise. Once again, characters go to Disney and premise goes to Yayoi Ogawa.

Problem seventeen: Mental slips…

_To err is human, does that count with pets?_

Kim rotated her right shoulder; she had just been worked, thoroughly worked at that. It was not a mission for once, nor was it a pet-related injury; hey, she had those thanks to the way her owner swung pillows and the way she was always sliding to get under her cardboard haven. Cheerleading had just been all out intense.

The routine was hard enough, but there had been more to it than that; she had been dropped a couple of times and failed to recover in time during the second fall. It was not too bad; her shoulder was only sore because that was the body part that she fell on. She supposed that it could have been worse; she could have landed on her head for example. She blamed herself more than anyone else because she was supposed to be able to right any mistake that her team made because she was Kim Possible; that had not stopped many of the girls from apologizing over and over again.

The other extreme, damn-near-off-the-freaking-wall part of cheerleading was the fact that she got into an altercation with Bonnie and it was not their usual exchange. She had not really felt like listening to Bonnie when the girl started up, considering the fact that she had just fallen about eleven feet, and she tried to walk away, but it seemed like some divinity somewhere desperately wanted to see Bonnie get her ass whipped that day. The teen hero generally tried to ignore the gods when they seemed to be begging for her to bust someone's ass, but it seemed her resolve decided to waver a bit that day.

Bonnie had gone on about Kim being a worthless bum that her parents did not even want, which the redhead could have taken because it was not like the brown-haired girl really knew what was going on in her life. Besides, Bonnie had said worse things to the hero through out the agonizingly long amount of years that they had known each other. It was just that she did not stop there.

That nasty tongue in Bonnie's head had to keep going and continued to speak very slanderous things about the teen hero. The vulgar aforementioned body part practically begged to be torn out by hand after Bonnie called Kim a house-whore, meaning she would sleep with someone for a place to stay. Kim had actually swung at the brown-haired girl for saying such a horrible lie. After all, what kind of thing was that to say?

Okay, so she had not actually hit Bonnie, but she had almost hit her; it had been close enough for the whole squad to look very frightened for Bonnie and some of them had gasped in shock. Her fist had been near enough to Bonnie's face for her to feel when the girl inhaled in fear and surprise, which showed how slow Bonnie was compared to her because if she actually hit the girl, she would have been pulling her fist back by the time Bonnie reacted. But, now, she was ashamed of herself for such distasteful behavior; it was the first time that she had ever nearly punched Bonnie.

"I damn near hit her just because of some words, words that weren't even near true…" Kim muttered incredulously. She shook her head because of the day and her reaction. "All I want to do is lie in Shego's lap and forget this day ever happened."

Kim made it home and showered. She got out of the shower just in time to hear her master coming into the apartment. She ran out of the bathroom in a short towel that stopped at mid-thigh and hugged Shego while welcoming her owner home. And then, she noticed Drakken; well, she had been wondering how the day could get worse and it seemed like she just found out. Damn it, she would never ponder how a day could get worse again.

"I should get dressed, right?" the girl muttered.

"Yeah, you really should," Shego concurred and the redhead trotted back to the bathroom.

The pale woman glanced at Drakken, who appeared to be in utter shock. Well, at least she could be certain he had not been looking at her pet's body; it would never occur to him to do such a thing and she knew that. She wished that she could say the same thing about herself.

Shego hardly ever thought about her pet as anything more than a pet. She washed the girl's hair sometimes while Kim was in the bath and she never bothered to look, but at the moment, she had actually looked at her pet's legs. The redhead had nice legs and Shego thought about the teen being pressed against her for that crushing embrace.

"She hugged you," Drakken pointed out, as if his girlfriend had somehow managed to miss that fact. Hello, she was not only there, but she had been the one embraced.

"Yeah," the emerald-eyed woman answered as if it was nothing.

"She ran out of the bathroom to hug you," he added in disbelief. He almost thought that it was not real, but she did confirm that it happened. It stilled seemed surreal to him.

"Uh-huh. What's your point?" she asked.

"Why would she do that?"

"She's an affectionate brat, that's all," she tried to assure him while waving him off.

"And you let her hug you?"

"Obviously."

"And she's still staying with you?"

"Why? Would you like her to move in with you?" she countered. He balked at the suggestion and that shut him up, which was what she was hoping to do.

When Kim came out of the bathroom a second time, fully dressed in house clothes, she found her owner on the couch with Drakken. The redhead frowned and climbed up to her loft. She really wanted to relax on Shego after the day that she had, especially with the idea of her stinking decision still eating away at the dark corners of her mind and then the fact that she had almost hit Bonnie. It seemed that the gods were just messing with her that day.

The teenager figured that she would be all right as long as that blue dolt left sometime soon. If he left, then she would at least be able to share her mistress' bed, which would be just as good as resting in her lap. But, the cerulean scientist did not leave. Damn it, Kim screamed mentally. All right, she definitely thought that some divine figure was just screwing with her, she considered now. What gods had she pissed off? She would apologize and make as many offerings as the deities liked if it would get her into her owner's bed.

The teenager smelled cigarette smoke not even a half hour after Shego and Drakken retired to her bedroom. Kim noted a long time ago that her owner smoked a lot more since the year began. She knew that it had to do with sleeping with Drakken, but she was also aware that it was not for the same reason why most people smoked after sex. The raven-haired female did not smoke out from satisfaction.

Kim tried not to think about her mistress with that blue idiot, but when she smelled the smoke, she often found her mind bringing up things that should not have been in her head. Her mind liked to point out, quite evilly in her opinion, that she would never leave Shego unsatisfied. She would do whatever the pale woman desired and then after that, she would do more. But, when those things entered her mind, she had trouble sleeping because she worked herself up. So, she tried her best to not think along those lines.

* * *

Shego sat up in bed, finishing off her cigarette. She glanced down at Drakken, who was sleeping and sucking his thumb yet again. She shook her head; yes, she certainly was attracted to some odd, yet very pitiful creatures. What had she done in life to be where she was and why the hell was she not moving on? She was not even sure and she tried her best not think about it.

--(New day)

The teen hero was wandering down the street late in the afternoon. She was dreading going home. Drakken had come over the past few days. He was monopolizing her mistress and he did not even bring the woman any joy. At least when she was with Shego, the woman was content and at peace; the look in her emerald eyes said that much. All Drakken did was make her smoke more often and take her side of the bed; the redhead did not know about that latter part, but it was one of the things that irked her owner quite a bit.

"What's there to do?" Kim wondered.

The teenager was frustrated. She would love to get a crazy mission, but apparently, all was right in the world. Well, not all because her life was not going so great thanks to the blue blunder, also known as Drakken. Kim sighed and tried to figure out what she could do to kill time. Then, as fate would have it, something weird happened. A velociraptor ran by; Kim arched an eyebrow.

"Miss, was that a dinosaur?" Kim asked a woman that was on the street to be sure. Her answer was the woman fleeing in terror in the opposite direction that the creature was headed. "I'll take that was a yes," the girl commented.

The redhead took off after the dinosaur on her rocket-powered inline skates. She caught up with the raptor in no time and pulled out her grappling hook. Something in her mind was telling her that she was having a bad idea, maybe even a terrible idea, but she ignored that thing in her head and shot the hook around the dinosaur's legs to tie him up; hey, life was made up of trial and error in her mathematical opinion. The creature faltered for a moment before clawing at the cable and shredding it. He then jumped at Kim, who leaped back just in time to avoid losing her intestines. Obviously, she tried and it was an error; math was power and she scoffed at whoever said otherwise.

"That could've hurt," the teen muttered while the dinosaur continued on his rampage down the street. Not that he was doing much aside from scaring the crap out of people, but eventually, he would get hungry and what would happen then seemed obvious.

The girl was going to follow the creature, but she had to get out of her street or the police would have flattened her into road-kill as they sped by, looking to apprehend the dinosaur also. She made it safely to the sidewalk and sucked her teeth. It was enough to almost be killed by an animal that was supposed to have died out completely over sixty five million years ago, but then to be nearly mowed down by people that were supposed to protect citizens was too much even for her.

"I'm not letting go of this gift from the gods that easily," Kim said to herself with a laugh. The redhead went and borrowed a bike from a boy that was a few feet away from her. She took in the same direction as the police.

* * *

"Did I just almost run over Princess?" Shego inquired, speaking to Doctor Director. She was driving a black car and in pursuit of the dinosaur. They had been called in, they guessed, in case the creature ate anyone, the regular police had them to blame. They were good scapegoats; well, they would be if they did not do their job as well as they did.

"That did look like her, but I am the woman with one eye," the boss replied casually.

"I hope she's not hurt. What's she doing out this way anyway?"

"She's your pet."

"You want me to run this car into a wall? You know you'll be way more injured than I will," Shego pointed out since her friend just felt the need to be smart all the time.

"Just follow the damn lizard," Betty commanded.

"I hate science," Shego sighed because she just knew that some smart aleck scientist was the reason behind the extinct carnivore running the streets. There had better be some kind of nefarious plot involved in the situation, the super-powered woman hoped. If the animal was just a prank or just escaped from some lab, Shego was going to be beyond pissed. In fact, she would fry the scientific marvel with her full power if there was no real reason behind it running the streets.

"No one likes science. It ruins everything," the chief remarked.

The younger woman laughed a bit and then she noticed a bike in the background along with the police vehicles. She stared into the side mirror, wondering what insane biker was trying to interfere with police business. That redhead certainly looked familiar, she thought.

"Damn it, that is Pumpkin!" Shego realized with a huff. Her pet could not possibly be so stupid as to be chasing after them while they were going after an animal that devoured flesh.

"Where?" the brown-haired woman inquired and then she looked out of the rearview mirror to see what her employee was going on about. "She certainly is peddling the hell out of that bike. Maybe she saw you driving the car," she offered as an explanation behind why Kim was traveling with the police on a bike.

Shego shrugged because it was possible. She just had a hard time believing that her little pest was actually as dumb as she seemed at the moment and it did not matter if the teen was chasing her or the velociraptor. What the hell was she supposed to do with that kid?

Kim was peddling the bike as strong as she could, hoping to catch up with that monster that tried to disembowel her. She would teach that dinosaur a thing or two about messing with her on a day that she did not feel like going home to deal with something even more annoying than it was. She pulled up to a police car and grabbed onto the side mirror. She stopped peddling and caught her breath along with a ride.

"Girl, what the hell are you doing?" the officer driving inquired.

"Shut up and floor it!" Kim replied.

"Go home, kid!"

"Catch that damn velociraptor before someone gets hurt!" the teen hero commanded.

"The what?"

Kim rolled her eyes. "The dinosaur! What, you never been to a movie or a museum?" she asked because of his question. God, she thought the raptor was one of the most recognizable meat-eating dinosaurs thanks to the movies.

"Leave this to us, kid."

Kim scoffed; she was really aggravated now. She let go of the car and then used her rockets in her skates to go faster. They hit the top of a hill and Kim was launched into the air while the cars just went down the mound. She leaped off of the bike and sailed through the sky. She went into her pocket while she was airborne and caught sight of the creature. She pulled out three objects that looked like yellow gumballs. She flung the yellow spheres at the raptor and then grabbed the peg in a telephone pole to avoid crashing into the pavement. The sun-colored balls exploded on impact with the dinosaur and covered the animal in what looked like glue. The raptor could not move, though it did struggle to do so.

"That'll teach you to try and bite me," Kim commented with a smile, still hanging from the pole.

The police gathered around the immobile creature to collect it. Shego remained in the car since there was nothing for her to do now that her pet had done all the work. She watched her girl, dangling from the telephone pole like it was nothing. She saw Kim hop down with any difficulty and land with ease and grace, like a feline. Kim strolled away as if nothing happened. Shego frowned slightly.

* * *

The green-skinned female arrived home and expected her teen to tell her all about the exciting day that she had, but that did not happen. The teenager was just out on the sofa like she was about a third of the day as far as Shego knew. The older woman could not help wondering what the teen was all about.

Shego went and changed into her house clothes. She sat down on the sofa and lifted Kim's head into her lap. The younger female smiled in her sleep and moved to nuzzle her face in her mistress' abdomen. The teen realized that she was very comfortable, so she opened her eyes to find out why.

"Shego?" Kim muttered.

"Yeah, who else is going to let you sleep in her lap and rub your face in her stomach?" Shego replied.

"No Drakken?"

"Don't jinx it."

Kim laughed a bit. "Good call."

"You slept all day, didn't you?" the pale woman asked while shaking her head slightly. She tried to ignore how her pet was rubbing her nose in her stomach. It left a strange tingling sensation through out her whole torso.

"I wandered around a bit because I thought you'd be with Drakken," the younger female answered while holding in a yawn. Shego wondered why her pet would not lie to her, but would not tell her the truth either; it was not like she did something wrong.

"Anything exciting happen?"

"Nothing really. I almost got run over by police. Oh, and I found ten dollars," the teenager replied with a smile.

"Yeah?" Shego said to humor her pet like a person would do a child.

"Yeah, I used the money to buy these kids in the park some ice cream."

"What a day," the pale woman deadpanned.

Kim muttered something that her mistress did not understand before drifting back to sleep. Shego caressed the girl's head and stared off at the wall. Her pet was keeping things from her and she did not like it for some reason, even though it did not seem to be something disreputable or terrible.

The raven-haired woman pointed out to herself that she never knew much about her pet and that never bothered her before. She guessed it was because her teen had seemed so inept, but she was starting to see that she was very wrong about that. The girl obviously could do a lot, but she seemed to pretend that she could not do anything. Shego made a decision right then and there.

--(New day)

Shego knocked on an apartment door. She was not sure what she was doing, but she had to do something or the curiosity would drive her mad. So, she got an address and went to go check it out. She was about to knock again, but the door opened to reveal Yori.

"May I help you?" the resident ninja asked.

"I'm looking for Ron Stoppable," Shego answered. She recalled her pet going on about how the boy was her best friend and they hung out all the time at that horrible fast food place. He would have answers and he had better give them to her or there were going to be some serious problems.

"All right. You are Miss Shego, are you not?" Yori asked. She remembered the woman, of course, but she felt the need to ask.

"Yes," the emerald-eyed woman confirmed.

"Please, come in. I will retrieve Ron-kun," Yori said. "But, may you answer one question?"

"Yeah, what?"

"Kim is all right?" Yori inquired because she believed that the only reason they would get a visit from Kim's owner was if something was wrong with the teen hero.

"She's fine," Shego assured the Japanese girl.

Yori nodded and then ushered Shego into the apartment. The ninja shut the door and then hurried to the back. The green-skinned woman knew that she had met Yori before, but she could not recall where; mostly because she was trying her best to wipe all memories of Kim's cheerleading from her mind. Shego was not a fan of cheerleading, even if it did give her a chance to see how graceful and flexible her pet was.

"What?" she heard Ron yell in shock.

The blonde charged to the front of the apartment and stood face to face with Shego; well, not literally face to face because he was taller. He gulped despite his height because Shego was freakishly scary in a way that he could not put his finger on. Part of him told him that it was stupid to be intimidated by the woman; he had spent his whole life around amazing and talented women. There was no reason to freak out when facing yet another special female, but for some reason, his mind was not buying that.

"What can I do for you?" Ron asked.

"Tell me about Princess," Shego ordered.

"Wha?"

"Tell me about her."

"Who?"

"Pumpkin."

"Who's that?" he asked in a confused tone.

"My pet."

"Oh, you mean K.P."

"Damn it, you know who I meant," she growled.

"Well, whaddaya wanna know?" Ron inquired.

"Everything."

"Why?" he asked curiously.

"Because I do," she snarled. She was sick of asking questions and people beating around the bush. She wanted answers and she wanted them now, if not sooner.

"Hey, don't get snippy with me. Why not just ask her?" he inquired curiously. Would it not be best to go straight to the source to know about Kim? Hell, it would have been much closer than coming to his house, he bet.

"Because I'm asking you."

"Why?" He really did not get why she would ask him about Kim instead of just asking Kim. It seemed like she was making things harder than they needed to be.

Shego growled again and ignited her hands. Ron yelped; he could not believe that Kim had been telling the truth about the woman being able to plasma charge her hands. He decided it would be best not to test any other things his best friend informed him about in regards to Shego; after all, he did not have a box to hide underneath like his best friend did.

"Calm down. Look, take off your shoes," the blonde conceded with a sigh.

"Why?" Shego inquired.

"Because you need to come in the back for us to have this talk and Yori will flip if you come in the house with your shoes on. You don't wanna see her when she's angry. It's not a pretty sight," Ron explained.

The green-skinned woman did not argue with the blonde. She stepped out of her shoes and then followed Ron to the back of the apartment. The room was clean thanks to school being over with, for the moment anyway; they were going to do a summer session because Yori insisted on it and then the room would be back to the way it usually was. Ron flopped down into the chair at the desk and got on the computer.

"What're you doing?" Shego inquired in an irked tone; she felt like she was being jerked around.

"Ruining things more than likely. The easiest way to get to know K.P is to go to her site," Ron answered.

The blonde knew that what he was about to do would upset his best friend. He was not doing it because he was scared of Shego, but because the truth needed to get out. They needed to move forward, Kim especially and that would not happen if Shego did not know who her pet was. She might even be the person to get Kim to stop floating around and acting like she was going to be a vagabond for the rest of her life. Somebody needed to set the girl straight and Shego might be the person to do that, he figured.

"Her site?" Shego echoed.

"Yeah, her website. Boo-yah," Ron said with a smile as he moved the monitor to where his guest could see. The raven-haired woman turned to read everything and then she noted that the website looked very familiar.

"This isn't possible," she muttered.

"Sure it is. It's Kim Possible," he remarked.

* * *

Next time: Shego gets pissed and confronts Ron and then confronts Kim. Hopefully, nobody'll throw any punches or at least nobody'll get hurt.


	18. Problem Eighteen: The truth hurts

Still don't own the characters and I don't own the premise.

Problem eighteen: The Truth hurts…

_When is a pet not a pet? When the owner hates it._

Shego stared at the computer monitor in Ron's office with an expression of sheer disbelief etched on her face. She had been to the website so many months ago, back when she had first learned her pet's real name. She thought that the wonder girl of the site and her pet could not possibly be the same person. They were exact opposites, yet that blonde boy wanted her to believe that they were one in the same. She just could not believe it because it just did not make any sense, what he wanted her to believe did not fit in with the facts that she knew. It just did not add up.

"This just can't be my Princess," Shego insisted while practically gaping like a fish out of water at the screen.

"This is a lot about K.P. Well, the surface of her anyway," Ron informed the woman. He was well aware that the website did not capture any of the essence that made up his best friend. He doubted that there was any form of media in the world that could capture a fraction of his best friend.

"Excuse me, could I bring either of you anything?" Yori asked the pair.

"I think so," her boyfriend answered when he saw the incredulous expression engraved onto Shego's face.

Yori nodded and decided on tea and cake when she saw the look on the guest's face too; the green-skinned woman obviously needed something to soothe away the shock. She walked off while Ron gave Shego the chair that he was sitting in. He retrieved another chair from the corner and sat down with her. He stared at the woman as she read through the site.

"How?" Shego asked.

"It's what she does," Ron replied smoothly, thinking that the raven-haired woman was referring to all of the adventures.

"She fucks around with people like this?" Shego demanded to know with a snarl deep in her throat.

"Wha? No! No! Whoa, you totally misunderstood me," he argued.

"Then explain this shit to me. How in the hell is this perfect bitch my pet?" the super-powered officer demanded to know.

"I don't know. I'd appreciate it if you didn't call K.P a bitch too. I wasn't there when it all happened. Really, you should know the answer way better than me. I mean, she's your pet after all. Shouldn't you be having this conversation with her and not yelling at me?" Ron pointed out.

Shego scowled; he made an unbelievably fantastic point. She should be screaming at that little freeloader while setting her on fire too. She should just beat the living shit out of that girl. She had been played, Shego thought heatedly; she had been very thoroughly played.

"You're right," the pale woman agreed with Ron.

"I'm what?" he asked; he obviously was not used being agreed with. In fact, he thought that it might be one of the seven signs of the end of the world.

"This has nothing to do with you. This is all her fault," Shego declared with a growl. Ron did not like the sound of that.

"Whoa, you're mad at her, aren't you?" the blonde boy asked. It was rather apparent that she was upset, but he needed to ask, if only to slow her exit and maybe try to talk her out of being angry.

"Great another genius of the obvious," she muttered. "Hell, yeah, I'm mad at her. That little bitch took advantage of me for over a fucking year," Shego replied.

"Okay, wait, timeout. She didn't take advantage of you. So, just cool down a bit," he suggested.

"Why the hell should I cool down when I'm just going to burn the shit out of that little brat anyway?" she proclaimed.

"Hey, easy, easy. You don't need to be mad."

"Oh, I don't?" She appeared to be rather skeptical on that statement. She believed that she needed to be extremely mad.

"No, because you're looking at this all wrong. Hey, K.P really likes you. I mean, she likes you a lot. She didn't take advantage of you. She just accepted your offer to be your pet. You have to admit that she did a damn good job if you kept her this long. You have to be cool if she stayed that long," he reasoned.

"And what the hell's that supposed to mean?"

"It just means that before staying with you, K.P stayed everywhere, but nowhere at the same time. She was a nomad. She'd only hang out some place for a couple of days before moving on to go some place else," he informed her.

"And that's supposed to make me feel better? That the little bum chose to stay with me for so long?" Shego snarled.

"She likes you. She likes being around you."

"She likes free food and getting someone to do everything for her."

"I don't think that's the case."

"Then what the hell is the case?" she demanded to know. She was sick of having the argument when she thought what happened was obvious. It was plain as day that that little, possibly-going-to-die-an-agonizing-death-by-fire brat had taken advantage of her.

"You really should ask her," he answered.

"I'm asking you."

"If I don't answer, you're gonna do the freaky hand thing again, aren't you?" he asked, even though he knew the answer.

"Damn right," she assured him.

Ron sighed; how did he get caught in such a crazy situation? He knew that Kim did not want Shego to know who she was or anything about her really. He could not figure out why completely, but he was more than aware that at the end of the day, Kim liked to be able to go home and be Shego's pet. He did not want to absolutely wreck things for her, even though he did think that Shego had a right to know just who she was providing food, shelter, and whatever else for.

"Look, I respect the freaky, fire hand thing that you got going. I really do, but I can't just dime K.P out like this. All I can tell you is that she's really happy being with you and it was weird seeing her that way. I don't think I've ever seen her so calm, cool, and just happy. I mean, before you, she would smile and stuff, but this is different. You can just see in her eyes that she's really happy," Ron told the raven-haired woman.

"How do you figure that she's happy? She lied to me. She kept this whole 'teen hero' bullshit a secret," the emerald-eyed female pointed out.

"I know. I can't explain it. It's not my life. You need to talk to her if you want answers," he replied.

Shego was about to say something, but Yori returned. The ninja silently put down a tray that held two cups of tea and two perfectly sliced pieces of yellow cake. She did not say anything to either of them and left them to their discussion.

"What the hell is her deal?" the super-powered woman asked, nodding toward the door, referring to Yori.

"She thinks our conversation is private, so she's giving us our space," Ron explained.

"Fine. Tell me this, if my pet and Kim Possible are the same person, why in the hell isn't she in school or something?" Shego inquired.

"That's definitely something that you have to ask her," the blonde boy replied. No one could really figure out why the girl that could do anything was out floating in the breeze and not going to school. It was not like she could not get into a school, but it was not like she was trying either.

"The site said her home town is Middleton. Why isn't she there? This is a long way from home," the pale woman remarked.

"Yeah, she came here after me, Monique, and Yori all got accepted to G.U. It's like a high school reunion for us over there," he commented with a laugh. "Anyway, she thought she might stay with us for a little while, but she decided against that and became a hobo as far as we could tell."

"Why? What's the damn point in being homeless if she could be doing so much with her damn life and living with her friends?" Shego inquired.

"You really need to have this discussion with K.P. This is all of her and none of me. Are you scared to talk to her?" he asked curiously.

"Why in the hell would I be scared?"

"Well, once you bring all this up, she's not really your pet anymore. You've acknowledged that she's Kim Possible. Once she confirms, then she is Kim Possible, isn't she?" he pointed out.

"She's my pet."

"Until you ask her."

"I'm not scared. I don't even give a fuck who she is. I'll beat her ass no matter what and she'll always just be a fucking pet," Shego declared.

"Prove it," he dared her, even though he figured it out. He could finally understand why Kim did not want her mistress to know anything about her. Being _the_ Kim Possible came with so much baggage while being some punk kid came with nothing at all. She could relax around Shego because the woman had no expectations of her because she thought that Kim was just a little bum. Still, he knew that at some point in time his best friend was going to have to confront who she was and do something with herself no matter how much she tried to dodge that fact.

* * *

The enraged green-skinned woman marched home and entered the apartment to be embraced by her jovial pet. Kim hugged her owner tightly around the waist like she always did and grinned like a happy child. The elder woman rolled her eyes and pried the girl off of her. She almost flung Kim to the floor, but she controlled herself enough not to do that, even though she really wanted to hurt the little pest.

"We need to talk," Shego said in a very serious tone.

The teenager did not like the sound of her master's voice. She had never heard such a serious, cut-to-the-chase tone before. She was more accustomed to be being yelled at or taunted in someway. She followed Shego into the living room and the older woman sat down on the couch. Kim attempted to recline across her mistress, but her keeper stopped her.

"What's wrong?" the redhead inquired.

"I went to your website," the green-skinned female informed the girl in a calm, yet tense voice.

Kim's expression completely dropped. Gone was the sense of pointless enthusiasm and unfathomable joy just from being able to sit near her master that usually surrounded the teenager. It was replaced by a somber look accompanied by a single word that was really only a letter that encompassed the girl's whole mood. "Oh," she muttered in a grave, disheartened tone that she had never used in the apartment before.

"So, you are Kim Possible," the older woman said in a rather neutral tone.

"I believe I said that a long time ago," Kim commented for lack of a better response. How badly she wanted to deny who she was for the first time in her life, but she could not think of anyone who deserved more to know exactly who she was than her mistress did. But, she knew that once the cat was out of the bag, things would never be the same.

"Don't be a smart ass," Shego reprimanded her.

"Sorry."

"Explain this whole thing to me," the raven-haired woman commanded. She was still in charge no matter what. It was still her house and the teen was still hers no matter who the girl was. She was the mistress and Kim was still the pet.

"That's a very heavy order," the younger female mumbled.

"Humor me."

"Could you narrow this down for me? There's so much stuff to explain," the teenager pointed out.

"What the hell are you doing here?" the older woman demanded to know.

"That's still a lot. You need to narrow it down a bit more."

"All right, little Miss Perfect, what the hell are you doing here being my damn pet rather than being at home or some big fucking university?"

"I thought this was home…" the teen muttered. It had felt so much like home and now it was being implied that it was not; it wounded her even more so than she already was. It injured her to the core of her being and that much could be seen in her olive-green eyes. It was taking all of her strength to sit up right because she could guess where her master was going with all the new information.

"You know what I mean! I'm sick of you doing this. Give me a fucking straight answer," Shego commanded in a heated tone.

"It's so hard. But, I'm your pet because you offered me the job."

"Why in the hell did you take it?"

"Because…" Kim trailed off.

"Because what?" Shego pressed the issue.

"Because it was a chance to live without pressure or expectations of any kind. You didn't know I was Kim Possible. I didn't need to act so perfect around you. It was safe for me to make mistakes around you or to just act silly and relax without being judged," the redhead explained.

"I did judge you. I thought you were a moron," Shego pointed out.

"I know, but you didn't mean it in a bad way. It was all right because I am just a pet. I didn't mind what you thought."

"Why are you here, though? You're just mooching off of me," the pale woman declared. She wanted it to sound like an accusation, but it came out for like a tease. She recalled the last time she said something similar, the girl was a leech or something, and that ended all communication between them for days.

"I'm not mooching. I'm just a pet…right?" the teen hero pointed out with hope in her voice. She wanted confirmation that she was still just a pet, just a lazy and stupid pet.

They both had come to the same conclusion along time ago and it was that Kim certainly was not a leech or anything like that because she was just a pet. She was there for Shego's entertainment like a cat would be and a cat was not a leech. By that logic, Kim was not a leech or a mooch. She was just a pet and she wanted things to stay that way.

"Why is what I don't get. You're fucking Kim Possible. What the hell are you doing?" Shego inquired. She was starting to remind Kim of her friends and how they just could not wrap their minds around why she could be a pet.

The teen looked away and sighed. She wondered what made her owner go and find out things about her. Maybe it was because of all the books, she considered. Everything was so perfect before. She was just a lazy pet before. She was able to rest her head in Shego's lap without needing a reason. She was able to hug Shego and only get yelled at halfheartedly. She had been able to share Shego's bed without anything really going on. She was allowed to be mischievous and in the process she was able to bring some bliss to another person, another person that she had grown to adore. It was perfect. Why did it have to change?

"Well, Princess," Shego persisted.

"You know, I graduated high school at fifteen. I graduated college at seventeen with two degrees, biology and math…" Kim started.

"I know. It's all on your website."

"Yeah, but what's not on the website is how I felt about all this. You know, it's cool being smart and everything to me and to the couple of people I know, but the rest of the world just dumps shit on you. Adults want to go on about how smart I am and teens go on about what a freak I am. Everybody has crap to say and advice to give and they never shut up. It's always something. Didn't have that with you."

"No, I didn't know you were smart."

"It's not my thing to really broadcast it because of the family I come from. Everybody's smart. It's medical doctors on one side and PhD carrying engineers on the other. Everybody over the age of twenty-five is a card carrying doctor of some kind. My mother wants me to be a medical doctor and my father wants me to be a rocket scientist," Kim reported with a sigh while shaking her head a bit.

"Let me guess, you don't want to be either, so you ran away," Shego reasoned. It seemed so cliché that she just wanted to hit the girl.

"No, I didn't really run away. I let my parents know that I needed time to figure out what I wanted in life."

"When was this?" Shego asked.

"Pretty much the day I graduated college and realized that they were going to be throwing graduate school applications in my face from every direction while trying to get me internships in places I didn't want to be."

"So, back when you were seventeen?"

"Uh-huh."

"And you're only nineteen now," Shego remarked. Her pet might not have intended to run away from her problem, but she certainly had done just that.

"I can see your point."

"Can you really? So, the whole point of all of this was just because you don't know what to do with your life?" the elder woman inquired.

"Partially," the redhead answered. It went beyond not knowing, but not getting the chance to know. She was not even given the chance really to think on it. Everybody just kept telling her what she needed to do, as if she could not think on her own. Everyone swore that she had such a brilliant mind, but they were not allotting her the chance to use it; they were treating her like a toddler. She needed to get away from that or she was certain that she would have gone out of her mind.

"Now explain that."

"When I first left my parents, I thought I'd be right back. I thought it would be so easy because I could do anything. I truly believe that I can do anything. I figured I would know just what I wanted to do if given a couple moments of peace, but the more I stayed away, the more things grabbed my attention and the more I thought about it. The more I thought about, the more confused I got. There was just so much stuff. So, after a while, I actually just gave up on thinking about it. I figured it would come to me when I least suspected it, so I went on with my life. I did some missions and had a lot of fun, but it never came to me when I least suspected it because I couldn't put it out of my mind. Everywhere I went somebody was asking me what I was going to do and they were offering me jobs for stuff that weren't even near my fields. If they weren't offering me jobs, they were telling me what I should do. It seemed like every time I turned my head there were a million things coming at me…" the girl trailed off after that.

"And?" the pale woman pressed the issue. She wanted the whole story.

"And then I met you. You had no clue who I was, which isn't surprising. I find that Go City is a great place to hide from people because not too many people know or care about who Kim Possible is. You were nice to me for no reason. And then you gave me a great excuse to stay with you and try to repay the kindness you showed me that first night. I really like being your pet, Shego," Kim informed the older female.

Shego nodded to show that she understood and she really did; pressure and advice were bitches, especially from people that did not completely comprehend what was going on. The teenager did not know how to take the head movement, but she just did not like it. She nervously ran her fingers through her hair as she looked into Shego's emerald eyes. Kim then turned her eyes to the floor.

"You're going to make me go home, aren't you?" the teen asked in a whisper. She wanted to cry, really, she did want to. She desired to break down into a weeping body and beg her mistress to keep her, but she did not do those things.

"You can't run from life forever and I damn sure won't let you hide behind me," Shego declared.

"Figured as much," Kim muttered. "So, do I have to go now?"

"No, I'll rent a car and drive you home personally. I want to make sure you get there and you don't take advantage of anyone else," the pale woman remarked.

Kim nodded. "You think I took advantage of you?" she asked in a low voice. She did not want her keeper to think such a bad thing about her. She honestly loved being with Shego just to be with her and nothing more.

The raven-haired woman did not respond right away. "Why'd you act like you were incapable of doing anything without almost killing yourself?" She did believe that Kim liked her, but she did not get why the girl acted so incompetent around her. It was not like the teen needed to be stupid to stay with her.

The redhead laughed a bit; it was more a sorrowful sound than an amused noise. "Around you, I can make mistakes. I mean, I am just a pet. You know, I'm not supposed to be perfect and there wasn't any pressure to do that, which was great. After a while, though, you didn't trust me to do anything to even be able to make a mistake on it. You treated me like a pet and that's what I was."

"You were a good girl," Shego said and she patted Kim on the head.

"Thanks for everything, Shego. It was great being your pet. I mean, totally spanking," the teen commented with a smile.

Shego laughed a little bit, but it was a forced sound. That night, Kim began packing her things to leave what she wanted to be home; in the back of her mind, she noted that when things counted, she rarely got what she truly wished for. She did not realize how much stuff she had accumulated while living with Shego until that night. She had so many clothes, books, and stuff animals without enough bags to put them in. She decided to use garbage bags because she was traveling privately and she was going directly to the Possible house.

Once she was done packing, Kim folded her mattress and blankets up neatly. She moved them into the corner of the loft. She was not going to sleep in the loft; if it was to be her last night in the apartment, then she was going to spend it just how she wanted. So, she climbed down from the loft and went to Shego's room.

Shego knew that Kim would come and sleep next to her. The teen crawled into bed and snuggled up next to Shego, hoping that the older woman would not be angry with her just once. Shego actually embraced Kim and let her rest as close to her as she wanted. Kim smiled; she felt so warm and comfortable. It was like being loved.

* * *

Next time: The end of the problems


	19. Problem Nineteen: When the problems end

Well, I still don't own these characters and I still don't own this premise.

I wanna thank everybody for sticking through this fic. I really appreciate all of the support, especially the reviews. Thanks bunches. Now, enjoy the end of the fic and don't come after me because of the ending, please.

Problem nineteen: When the problems go away…

_You find a pet, you keep it for a long time, and then you find out that the pet already has an owner. You decide to do the right thing and give the pet back. But, why? You put just as much effort into the pet as the previous owner. The pet is as much yours as theirs…right?_

Kim and Shego loaded the teen's things into the back of the rented car. They then piled into the mid-sized car; Shego on the driver's side and Kim on the passenger side. The ride started out tense with an uncomfortable silence because neither of them knew what to say to the other.

Shego could not help wondering, what does a person say to a girl that used to be her pet and also happened to be a genius along with a hero? There was not much to say, she thought. It was hard to think of the girl as a simple-minded pet now that she knew that truth, but it was also hard to believe the truth considering how long she looked at the girl as just a pet. She figured that if she did not say anything, then she would not be reminded that the teen was not how she thought the girl was. As long as she was silent, she could continue to think of the teen as her idiotic pet.

Kim felt ashamed for some reason, like she had done something dreadfully wrong to Shego for being who she was. She did not even feel that way because she had not said anything about who she was, but just for being the person that she was. She was aware that she could not help being who she was, but it seemed like it angered Shego and it was not how she was used to upsetting the pale woman. She was used to being screamed at, not treated as if she was not there. She was used to only irking her mistress, not seriously pissing the woman off to the point where she was not speaking to the teen. She decided to break the silence if only to release some of the tension in the car.

"Shego…could I ask you a question?" Kim inquired in a semi-low voice. She was attempting to sound normal, but it was kind of hard to do in her current situation.

"Aside for that one?" Shego countered while trying to sound like she was teasing, but she sounded a bit exhausted. It had been a hard couple of days since she had found out about who her pet really was.

"Why don't you like your family?" the girl asked curiously.

"Because there's nothing to like about them. Everyone's a lunatic in their own special way and they're into being their own brand of crazy."

"But, your mother is cool," Kim said.

"She's not your mother," Shego pointed out. She had met so many people that thought it was great to have the mother that she had and all she could do was point out that her mother was not their mother. Just because a woman was cool to the public at large did not mean that she was fit to be a mother.

"And what about your father?" the teenager asked.

"He's an ass."

"Why?" Kim inquired.

"Because he wanted five sons." That was the start of him being an ass anyway. She doubted that she enough time on the trip to explain the whole issue to the redhead.

"So, what did he do with you?"

"He couldn't make his mind. Depending on the day of the week, I was either one of the boys or didn't exist at all. At least there was no in between. I knew what I was to him the moment I saw him in the morning and didn't have to guess if I was going to be acknowledged or not."

"So, you're one of those people…" Kim was not sure what she wanted to say and she hoped that Shego finished her sentence.

"I would say I'm a person that only my father could fuck up this much, even though my whole family had a hand in it. I think if it was just my mother, though, I'd have probably been a bit more balanced. What about you, Princess? Would you say that you're a person that only both parents could fuck up?" the pale woman remarked.

"I wouldn't say they fucked me up…" Kim argued. She thought that she had two very great parents and she did not think there was much wrong with her. Most of the things that were wrong with her, she believed were of her own doing. After all, she was the one that wanted to do everything and kept trying to do everything. Her parents wanted her to focus on one thing, which she supposed was for the best, but it did not seem to be something that she could do. There was just too much out there.

"You just can't take the pressure. I know how that is."

"I'm glad somebody does. Most people tried to act like it wasn't there, like they weren't asking me to practically hold the damn world up. I never realized there was pressure in life for a long time, though. But, when I graduated college, it hit me like a ton of bricks," the redhead commented with half a smile.

The teen had never told anyone that she just could not take the pressure; everyone had a breaking point, but no one knew that she had one and she tried her best to hide that fact because she still wanted people to believe that she could do anything, just like the website declared. She felt safe telling it to the raven-haired female, though. She did not mind Shego knowing that about her, especially since she knew so much about the elder woman. She thought that it was only fair that she give up as much as she knew.

"So, Pumpkin, what do you want to do with your life?" the pale woman asked curiously. So much talent in one person, it was hardly believable, she thought.

"Live," Kim answered with a laugh because that was the best she could offer.

There was so much to do in life and the redhead wanted to do it all, even though she was aware that there was not enough time in life to do it all. Right now, she just wanted to try. Even more than that, she wanted to do it all while staying with her mistress.

"I know how that is too. I noticed that you have all of those science books, though. I figured that you'd want to be a scientist or a doctor of some kind. You just can't figure out which one?" Shego asked.

"No, I can't really. There's so many subjects and I'm interested in a lot of them, but I think only as hobbies. I've screwed myself up so badly," the teenager stated with a laugh. She shook her head a bit in amusement.

"How so?"

"I was born a Possible with a sense of adventure."

"And that's a bad thing?"

"Well, I can do anything," Kim pointed out.

"It says so right there on the website," the raven-haired woman commented. She was starting to see how Kim could be confused; there were really too many possibilities for her and it appeared that the girl could not narrow it down to a workable number because she just liked to experience things.

"The Possible family creed doesn't help much either. They say anything is possible for a Possible and I have been taking that seriously since the day that I was born. I've been trying to do everything possible in the world. I like a good adventure. I like helping people. I like damn near everything about the world, aside from the evil anyway. Monique says I'm like a five-year-old. You know, no sense of danger and curious about everything," the teen hero replied.

"Why not continue doing that? You sound like you like it and you can get paid for doing something like that."

"It's not about being paid. It's about having the word 'doctor' in front of your name to make the family reunion even more confusing," the redhead remarked with a small, amused smile on her face. She actually was not too sure what it was about. She knew what it was not about and it was not about a paycheck, but other than that, she did not know why it was so important that she pick a career and tie herself to one thing. And she guessed that was what she was supposed to be figuring out, but she stopped thinking about it a long time ago.

"Pumpkin, let me tell you one thing life has taught me."

"What?"

"Screw what the family wants. It's one life per user and you're using yours. It's your life; you're the only one living it."

"You need to remember that too," Kim said.

"I know I'm going to regret asking this, but why do you say that?"

"Look, you're not happy with Drakken. I don't know why you stay with him and really I don't want to know because I'm screwed up enough as it is without that knowledge. You can't be happy with Drakken because he can't even be happy with himself. You have to keep that in mind. One life, one chance at happiness."

Shego only smiled a bit and then she reached over to caress the top of Kim's head. She tried to tell herself that she would not miss doing such a thing, yet she did it whenever she had an excuse to for the whole ride; Kim seemed to like the attention at the moment just like she had when she first started being a pet. The older female told herself that she would not miss having a pet. She would not miss Kim.

* * *

Shego pulled the car up to the Possible residence. Kim glanced at the house; it looked exactly how she recalled it. She was stunned that she did not have overwhelming feelings to run inside and see her family again; it had been a long time since she had seen them in person. She felt a bit guilty about not being more eager to see them; she knew that the feeling was not going to come up because her body was being overwhelmed by a sullen emotion because she was about to leave someone that she truly wanted to be with forever and always.

She then turned her eyes to Shego, who was staring straight ahead with a very serious look in her emerald eyes. Shego was ordering herself to stay indifferent and to not be emotional; she told herself not to care because she was doing the right thing and she was just getting rid of a freeloader, nothing more than that. Neither of them moved for a long while and then Kim let out a nervous laugh.

"You know, they probably haven't seen me yet. You can turn around, we can go home, and I can just keep being your pet," the teenager suggested with a chuckle to make it seem like she was joking.

Shego shook her head; she did not trust herself to speak yet. She had been considering doing what Kim proposed for the whole drive there. She was usually so selfish; it was her nature to survive. She wanted it, so she took it because if she waited for something to be handed to her, she had come to believe that she would have to wait forever or she would be flat out denied if she did not take what she wanted. She wanted her pet; after all, she had kept the teen for over a year, so she obviously wanted Kim. But, for just about the first time in her life, she desired to do right by an individual with nothing in for her. She just could not allow Kim to throw her life away as a pet; she just had too much potential and too much goodness to be a simple pet to someone like Shego.

"Princess, get out," Shego ordered in a cold tone.

Kim nodded. "Yeah. Than—"

"Don't thank me. Just get out," Shego commanded in an even colder tone.

The redhead was aware that Shego was attempting to make it easy on both of them, but it was not working because they both knew that the frosty demeanor was merely an act. Kim glanced at the house and then back to her former owner. If she was going to have to leave, then she was going to go out on her own terms, the teen decided. She leaned over to Shego and slowly, deliberately kissed the older woman on the lips. It was warm, passionate, just all out intense, like Kim was touching Shego's soul. The best thing about it was not that Shego allowed it, but that she returned it.

The raven-haired woman discovered that Kim's mouth was hot, but comforting like a blanket on a cold day. She melted into the redhead like wax from a burning candle. She could not recall the last time or even if there was a time when a kiss was so sweet and scrumptious, like a soft plum, to her. She kept it going for as long as she could, but after nearly two minutes, they pulled away from each other; both of them were flushed from such a fervent show of affection.

"I'm setting you free," Shego muttered, trying to assure herself and Kim.

"You're letting me go, like a sick dog in the woods," Kim replied.

"It's for the best. You can't just waste away on my sofa."

"I tried."

"Now go," Shego commanded.

Kim opened the door and got out of the car. She gathered her things on her own without a problem and then just stood on the walkway that led to her house. She knew that Shego would not leave until she went into the house, which was very true. So, she went to the door and knocked, actually hoping that no one was home. She just wanted an excuse to get back in the car with Shego, but the chance did not come because the door opened.

Shego sighed and pulled off as Kim disappeared into the house. The teen hero was greeted by tight, overzealous hugs from her parents while her brothers tore through her bags, thinking that she might have something interesting in there. They found a book and ran off with it; Kim could only hope that it was not her book on explosives or her mother was going to go hoarse from yelling at the tweebs later on.

"Kimmie-cub, it's about time you've come home," her father declared with an overjoyed grin.

"We were so worried," her mother said while wiping away tears; yes, Mrs. Doctor Possible was crying because she was happy that her daughter was finally back home.

"So not the drama, Mom," Kim proclaimed to try and downplay how long she had been gone.

"Same old, Kimmie," her mother commented while trying to cease her tears.

* * *

The Possible family sat down for a family dinner that was complete for the first time in almost two years. It seemed to be so special that Kim's mother actually cooked; her mother usually only cooked on holidays and even that was rare. She made lasagna, much to Kim's delight.

"I can see your love for pasta hasn't diminished," Mister Possible commented while watching Kim dive into her meal.

"Still love it," the teen replied with a smile.

"So, do you want to tell us about your time away?" Missus Possible asked. She could imagine that Kim had to have dozens of stories from leaving to be on her own for so long.

"It was sort of like being here without being here. I did what I always do, but I slept some place different everyday. It was all right, I guess. Um…I think I've made a decision," the teenager replied because she knew that was what her parents really wanted to know. It was the reason that she left after all. They would probably be disappointed if she had not figured out what she wanted out of life after being gone for so long and she would not blame them if that had been the case.

"You have?" her parents asked as if they were in shock. They both looked so anxious to hear her answer, she noted. She thought that it was nice that they were at least trying to conceal their eagerness, but she could see it in their eyes; oh, how they both wanted her to follow in their footsteps.

"I have," Kim confirmed. She thought that it was plausible for them to still be a little disappointed when they heard the decision that she had come to.

"What?"

"I'm going to keep doing anything and everything. That's what I do and that's all I can do," the teenager reasoned. At the present time, it would just be downright unfeasible for her to focus on one thing because she just was not like that. She just had to do everything; well, she had to try to do everything anyway until she figured out where her niche was in life.

"But, you don't have a career," her father pointed out.

"I know, but I just can't narrow anything down right now. I want to do so much that I can't focus on one or two or even three things. I'm all over the place, that's how I am. I'm so like that that I can't even pick a science that I like best. I like dozens of sciences. I just want to do things right now while I can," the teen explained.

"So, you're not going to be a rocket scientist?" her father asked in a slightly saddened voice.

"Not at the moment, no," Kim answered and then she turned to look at her mother. "You're awfully quiet, Mom."

"I really want you to be a medical doctor because I think that you could do so much good walking that path, but I think that you've made the best decision for you and not for us, which is good. I want you to be happy and I see how you are. You are all over the board. You're an adventurous person and you need to try a whole bunch of things. You're not going to be happy doing one thing yet, especially one thing that doesn't allow you to move around as much as you like to do. So, I agree with your decision. Spend your youth wisely, Kim," her mother replied.

"You rock, Mom," the girl proclaimed with a smile. "Dad, are you okay with this?" she asked just to be sure.

"I suppose…I mean, you can always be a rocket scientist when you're done with everything else," he answered.

"She's going to be a medical doctor," Missus Possible informed her husband.

Kim laughed; she guessed to make it fair, when she finally could only do one thing, she was going to have to do something that neither of them wanted since she could not do what they both wanted. She could only wonder what she was going to do now. It was such a big world out there and there were so many options. She almost felt overwhelmed by the sense of freedom that she had just gained.

* * *

Shego returned home. Her apartment seemed so much larger now that she was there alone. It seemed quiet almost to the point of being creepy now that she was there alone. It did not seem that way when she had first moved in.

She told herself that it was good to be alone again. There would be no more annoying hugging, no more sharing her bed, no more cooking, no more baking, no more grooming more than just herself, and no more having to put up with a lazy good-for-nothing. Everything could go back to the way it was, which was good. Yes, that was good and that was the way she wanted it, she told herself.

* * *

Well, there you go; the end of act one. Not every romance has a happy ending or is it the happy ending that makes it a romance and not a tragedy? Well, this isn't really the ending of their lives, just this part of it.

Continued in "On a Short Leash."

Please, leave a review and let me know what you thought of the story.


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